Chapter 229: “OH NO, SHE FOLLOWED ME HOME”

Previously on MILF Mountain…

Kazuya and the gang barely escaped the endless mom energy, using the legendary "I have to go to work" excuse. But their freedom came at a cost—Kazuya's heart was permanently imprinted with the memory of unlimited home-cooked meals.

And now, something felt… off.

Like they weren't really alone.

A MYSTERIOUS PRESENCE…

The party was camped out by a quiet river, taking a much-needed breather after their MILF Mountain ordeal.

Sylvara was pacing back and forth.

"I don't like this. I feel like we're being watched."

Bradimus Maximus was flexing in the moonlight. "Let them watch. I hope they enjoy the view."

Lady Ravynne rolled her eyes. "Idiot. She means we might be in danger."

Kazuya, meanwhile, was stuffing his face with the last of their snacks.

"Maybe it's just paranoia? I mean, MILF Mountain is far behind us now… right?"

Sylvara narrowed her eyes. "Then why do I hear… humming?"

Silence.

Then—

Soft, soothing humming drifted from the trees.

It was a lullaby.

A mother's lullaby.

Kazuya's spine turned to ice.

Sylvara grabbed his shoulders. "OH MY GOD, SHE FOLLOWED US."

INTRODUCING… MOMMY MONA

Emerging from the shadows was a tall, gorgeous woman.

Flowing silver hair.

A figure that put goddesses to shame.

And the most dangerous thing of all…

A warm, motherly smile.

"Oh, sweetie, I hope I didn't scare you."

Kazuya backed up.

"W-Who are you?!"

She giggled softly.

"My name is Mona. But you can just call me Mommy."

Kazuya froze.

Sylvara screamed.

Bradimus fell to his knees. "S-Such… radiance…"

Lady Ravynne sighed. "Of course. Of course, one of them would follow us."

Mona tilted her head. "Oh, don't worry, I'm not here to drag you back to MILF Mountain. I simply… felt a connection."

Kazuya swallowed. "A… connection?"

She nodded.

"Yes. And I thought, why not check in on my sweet boy?"

Sylvara grabbed Kazuya. "He's NOT your sweet boy!"

Mona giggled. "Not yet. But I can be very persuasive."

Kazuya's soul left his body.

THE "PLEASE NO" INTERROGATION

Sylvara dragged Kazuya to the side.

"Okay. Listen. This is serious. If we don't handle this properly, you're gonna end up adopted against your will."

Kazuya wiped his sweat. "I ALREADY LEFT MILF MOUNTAIN. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING."

Lady Ravynne smirked. "You've awakened something in her. I think she's picked you as her… special project."

Bradimus Maximus wiped a tear. "I wish I was someone's special project…"

Sylvara ignored him.

"Okay. New plan. We convince her you're a lost cause. That you're completely hopeless. That you are beyond fixing."

Kazuya blinked. "That sounds a little harsh."

Sylvara grinned.

"Trust me, it'll work. She's a mom. If she thinks you're completely broken, she might give up."

Bradimus coughed. "Uh… has a mom ever given up on fixing something broken? Ever?"

Everyone fell silent.

Kazuya turned pale.

"Oh no. That's not how moms work. That just makes them MORE determined."

Sylvara grabbed his shoulders. "Then there's only one way. We have to make you… as annoying as possible."

PHASE ONE: THE "TOTALLY USELESS" STRATEGY

Kazuya deliberately messed up everything.

✅ Tried to cook instant noodles—set the pot on fire.

✅ Tried to put on a jacket—got tangled in the sleeves.

✅ Tried to walk in a straight line—tripped on air and fell into the river.

Mona just watched lovingly.

"Aww, my poor clumsy baby. You need someone to take care of you."

Sylvara clenched her fists. "IT'S NOT WORKING. SHE LIKES IT MORE."

Lady Ravynne nodded. "She sees him as a bigger project now."

Bradimus Maximus sighed. "I wish someone would look at me like that."

PHASE TWO: THE "RUDE JERK" STRATEGY

Kazuya tried to act super bratty.

"Ugh, whatever. I don't even NEED your food."

Mona smiled warmly and handed him a plate.

"Oh, sweetie, I know you're just cranky. Here, eat first. Then you'll feel better."

Kazuya gave up and ate the food.

Bradimus Maximus gasped. "SHE COMPLETELY NEGATED HIS BAD ATTITUDE."

Sylvara panicked. "Okay. There's only ONE LAST OPTION."

THE FINAL PLAN: "INTRODUCE HER TO SOMEONE WORSE"

Sylvara whispered to Lady Ravynne.

"Go get the Goose."

Lady Ravynne's eyes widened. "You can't be serious."

Sylvara nodded grimly. "Desperate times call for desperate measures."

Minutes later—

The Goose arrived.

The most chaotic, unruly, uncontrollable bird in existence.

The Goose honked menacingly.

Mona smiled.

"Oh, what an adorable little guy."

The Goose bit her hand.

She did not flinch.

She just giggled and pulled out a small cloth.

"Oh dear, you've got something on your beak. Let me just clean that for you—"

The Goose stopped biting.

The Goose sat down obediently.

The Goose was now resting its head on her lap.

Sylvara stared in horror.

"WHAT?! NO ONE HAS EVER TAMED THE GOOSE!"

Kazuya was shaking.

"Syl, I think we lost."

Mona patted the Goose gently.

Then she looked up at Kazuya.

"Oh, sweetie, no need to worry. I won't force you to come with me."

Sylvara sighed in relief. "Oh, thank gods—"

Mona smiled.

"I'll just stay close by. Just in case you need anything."

Sylvara screamed into the void.

Kazuya was doomed.

Mona wasn't leaving.

She was part of the adventure now.

And there was nothing they could do about it.

TO BE CONTINUED…