Chapter 231: "ESCAPE FROM MOM-HELL (OR NOT)" Previously on MILF Mountain…

The party attempted the impossible.

They tried to sneak away from Mona, the Ultimate Mom.

They failed.

Mona is unstoppable.

Mona is all-knowing.

Mona just wants the best for you, sweetie.

And now… there is no escape.

THE POST-ESCAPE ATTEMPT MEETING

Kazuya sat in defeat.

Sylvara was foaming at the mouth.

Bradimus Maximus was sipping the hot cocoa Mona made.

Lady Ravynne was eating homemade cookies.

The Goose was wrapped in a tiny sweater Mona knitted overnight.

Sylvara pointed at Bradimus.

"TRAITOR."

Bradimus shrugged. "What? It's good cocoa."

Kazuya groaned. "Okay. This is bad. We need a new plan."

Sylvara twitched. "No. We need a HERO."

Lady Ravynne smirked. "Or… a villain."

SUMMONING THE UNSUMMONABLE

They sat in a summoning circle.

Kazuya hesitated. "Are we really doing this?"

Sylvara slammed her hands down. "YES. I AM WILLING TO COMMIT A FELONY TO ESCAPE MOM-HELL."

Bradimus blinked. "Wait, what felony?"

Sylvara muttered. "The worst crime of all…"

Kazuya gulped. "What?"

Sylvara growled.

"Telling a mom… NO."

Bradimus gasped. "That's suicide."

Lady Ravynne smirked. "That's why we're calling in… THE ANTI-MOM."

Kazuya blinked. "What does that even mean?"

The summoning circle glowed.

A shadowy figure emerged.

The air grew cold.

A voice echoed through the void.

"Who dares summon…"

The darkness parted.

A tall woman stepped forward.

Wearing a leather jacket.

Holding a cigarette.

Sipping black coffee.

"THE DEADBEAT MOM?"

MOM VS. MOM: A CLASH OF THE TITANS

Mona smiled sweetly. "Oh my, a new friend! Welcome, dear. Would you like some tea?"

Deadbeat Mom grunted. "Nah. Too much effort."

Mona blinked. "Oh, well, that's okay. Maybe you'd like some homemade cookies?"

Deadbeat Mom yawned. "Listen, lady, I don't do cookies. I do microwaved burritos and gas station coffee."

Mona gasped. "Oh, you poor thing! No proper meals? No laundry done? How do you live?"

Deadbeat Mom shrugged. "I let my kids figure it out. Builds character."

Sylvara cheered. "YES. FINALLY, SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS."

Mona narrowed her eyes. "Well, that just won't do! You must be starving! Here, have some lasagna!"

Mona instantly summoned a fresh, steaming lasagna.

Deadbeat Mom stared.

She twitched.

She sniffed the air.

Her stomach growled.

"…Damn. That smells good."

Sylvara panicked. "NO, DON'T FALL FOR IT!"

Deadbeat Mom snatched a plate.

She ate one bite.

She shed a single tear.

"…I never knew… what love tasted like."

Sylvara collapsed. "WE LOST HER."

Bradimus clapped. "Truly, a powerful moment."

Kazuya held his head. "There's no fighting it… Mona is inevitable."

The Goose honked solemnly.

ACCEPTANCE: THE FINAL STAGE

Morning came.

Mona was still there.

She had won.

Kazuya looked around.

Their clothes were clean.

Their meals were warm.

The tent smelled like lavender.

The Goose had a tiny beanie.

He sighed.

"Fine. She stays."

Sylvara screamed in rage.

Bradimus cheered.

Lady Ravynne just laughed.

And thus, the party gained an unstoppable force…

A MOM.

TO BE CONTINUED…