Chapter 241: “THE THREE TRIALS OF PEAK MILF WISDOM – WHY AM I EVEN DOING THIS?!”
PREVIOUSLY ON THE ABSURD QUEST:
🔥 Kazuya and the squad found The One Who Watches All, a mysterious MILF scholar living in a cursed basement.
🔥 To retrieve the Sacred Body Pillow, they must complete three ridiculous trials.
🔥 If they fail, they'll be trapped in the basement forever.
AND NOW… IT'S TIME FOR PEAK NONSENSE!
THE FIRST TRIAL: "THE KNOWLEDGE OF THE MILF"
Kazuya stood in the middle of a glowing anime trivia battlefield.
Magical circles surrounded him. Floating books hovered in the air.
The One Who Watches All pointed dramatically.
👓 "To prove yourself worthy, you must complete… THE ULTIMATE MILF QUIZ!"
🔥 DUN DUN DUN. 🔥
Kazuya: "Oh come on, why is everything a dumb anime trial?!"
Sylvara: "Honestly, I'm curious. Let's see how much of a weeb you really are."
Lady Ravynne: "Do not fail us, young warrior."
The One Who Watches All snapped their fingers.
👓 "First question!
💬 'Name the top three MILFs of all time, as determined by the Grand MILF Council?'"
Kazuya froze.
Kazuya: "Wait, there's a Grand MILF Council?!"
Bradimus: "Bro, focus! This is life or death!"
Kazuya racked his brain. "Uhhh…"
🔥 A countdown timer appeared. 🔥
5… 4… 3…
Kazuya: "Fine! My answers are—"
1️⃣ "Lisa from Genshin Impact!"
2️⃣ "Mirko from My Hero Academia!"
3️⃣ "Yor Forger from Spy x Family!"
The room shook violently.
The One Who Watches All adjusted their glasses.
👓 "Hmmm… impressive."
👓 "Your answer… is 92% accurate. But you forgot one thing—"
👓 "THE CLASSIC MILF. The OG."
Kazuya: "Wait, who did I miss?"
👓 "SHE WHO RULES ALL… SENJU TSUNADE."
🔥 DUN DUN DUN. 🔥
Kazuya: "…SH*T, YOU'RE RIGHT."
The One Who Watches All nodded.
👓 "Very well. You pass… barely."
Kazuya wiped his forehead. "That was way too stressful."
THE SECOND TRIAL: "THE STRENGTH OF THE MILF"
The squad entered an arena.
🔥 A massive stone MILF statue stood in the center.
The One Who Watches All pointed.
👓 "The second trial… is a TEST OF STRENGTH."
👓 "You must survive… THE MILF HANDS."
SUDDENLY—
The stone statue came to life.
💪 A gigantic MILF hand appeared from nowhere.
🔥 It radiated the energy of a thousand motherly slaps. 🔥
Kazuya: "Wait, hold up—"
👋 SMACK.
Kazuya was sent FLYING into a wall.
Bradimus: "BROOOO!"
Lady Ravynne: "The legendary MILF backhand… a force of nature."
Sylvara: "I have to admit… that was satisfying to watch."
Kazuya: "WHY IS THIS A TRIAL?!"
The One Who Watches All smirked.
👓 "To be worthy of the Sacred Body Pillow, one must withstand THE POWER OF DISCIPLINE."
👓 "Only those who survive the MILF SLAP can truly be called warriors."
Kazuya stood up, shaking.
Kazuya: "Alright… FINE. Hit me again, you stone-faced monstrosity!"
🔥 The MILF Hand raised itself once more…
👋 SMACK.
Another hit.
Kazuya was launched into the ceiling.
Sylvara: "Okay, this is just hilarious now."
Bradimus: "Bro's getting folded like a cheap lawn chair."
Kazuya gritted his teeth.
"NOT THIS TIME."
🔥 HE ACTIVATED HIS MILF ENERGY. 🔥
His body glowed with golden light.
Lady Ravynne: "HE'S LEARNING."
The MILF Hand came in for one final slap—
AND KAZUYA CAUGHT IT.
⚡ DRAMATIC ANIME ENERGY BURST. ⚡
The One Who Watches All: "…Impossible."
👓 "He… mastered MILF energy?! This quickly?!"
Kazuya grinned.
"Try slapping me now, B*TCH."
🔥 THE HAND SHATTERED INTO PIECES. 🔥
The arena shook violently.
The One Who Watches All stepped forward.
👓 "You… have passed the second trial."
THE FINAL TRIAL: "THE HEART OF THE MILF"
🔥 A NEW DOOR OPENED. 🔥
Inside was… a normal living room.
A cozy couch. A warm fireplace.
And in the center—
👩 A mysterious MILF sat, sipping tea.
Kazuya: "Who… is this?"
The One Who Watches All spoke softly.
👓 "The final trial… is a test of understanding."
👓 "You must listen to the wisdom of the MILF and prove your heart is ready."
Kazuya sat down awkwardly.
The mysterious MILF smiled.
👩 "So… young one. Tell me, what does the term 'MILF' truly mean to you?"
🔥 DUN DUN DUN. 🔥
Kazuya: "Uhhh… hot older lady?"
👩 "WRONG."
👋 MILF SLAP.
Kazuya: "OW, WHAT THE HELL?!"
The MILF sipped her tea.
👩 "A true MILF is not just about looks."
👩 "It is about experience… wisdom… strength… love."
👩 "It is about radiating an aura that demands respect."
Kazuya nodded slowly.
Kazuya: "So… MILF energy isn't just about being hot…"
Kazuya: "It's about confidence… and power… and understanding?"
The MILF smiled.
👩 "Now you understand."
The One Who Watches All stepped forward.
👓 "You have completed the trials."
🔥 A glowing light appeared. 🔥
THE SACRED BODY PILLOW DESCENDED FROM THE SKY.
Sylvara: "It's… beautiful."
Bradimus: "Bro… I'm crying."
Kazuya held the pillow in his hands.
Kazuya: "Wait… if the ultimate MILF is inside this pillow…"
"How the hell do we unseal her?"
The One Who Watches All adjusted their glasses.
👓 "You must perform… THE LEGENDARY SUMMONING."
🔥 TO BE CONTINUED… 🔥 sorry guys i tried new writing style i think i should stick to old one