Chapter 90 - Secrets

Ikki left the Big House with his head down, lost in thought.

The cold air of the Underworld felt distant as he processed the conversation with Chiron.

An entire year away.

A year without saying a word to those who cared about him. And yet, he felt more relieved to be back than guilty for his absence. Although the relief was somewhat unexpected, being back was worse—he was struggling to cope with everything.

There was no denying it: being back at Camp Half-Blood brought a sense of coming home after a long journey, something he hadn't felt in a long time. The snow-covered trees that were once part of lush greenery, the frozen lake that had previously evaporated, the campers enthusiastic about his presence—though manipulated not to be bewitched by his changed appearance after a year—still seemed like moths dancing around flames. The conversations, the laughter—all of it gave him the impression that he was finally where he belonged.

But at the same time, there was a weight on his shoulders.

Ever since his return, the same question haunted him in every face he encountered: "Why did you disappear?" Every time he had to explain, relive the reason for his absence, it felt as though a new layer of his skin was being stripped away. The memory of Luke, his mother's severed head, the betrayal… all of it was a wound that never seemed to fully heal.

His stomach twisted at the thought of Luke, a mix of anger and sadness boiling within him, but it was the guilt that truly tormented him. He should have been there; he should have protected his mother. The helplessness he had felt upon learning of her death still haunted him.

The pain was constant, an unrelenting presence he couldn't push away. His fists clenched involuntarily, his fingers digging into his palms as he tried to hold back the tears threatening to fall. There was no solace in crying—not for him. Crying meant giving in, admitting he was broken. And he couldn't afford to be broken.

But the truth was that he was. Every smile he offered his friends was forced, the words of comfort he received from Percy and Chiron felt like a blade twisting in the wound. He felt apart, as though he were watching everything from a safe distance, unable to truly connect with those around him.

Guilt was the feeling that consumed him most. He couldn't stop wondering if he could have done something differently, if he could have saved his mother somehow. That guilt gnawed at him, a shadow looming over every moment of his life since then.

The fear was there too, silent but ever-present. The fear of not being strong enough, of failing again, of losing more people he loved. He hated to admit it, but fear accompanied him with every step he took, a constant reminder of his mortality and the consequences of his actions.

Perhaps that's why he felt so impatient with Thalia's existence. She envied him for something he had actually failed at—something she had succeeded in. She put him on a pedestal for his power but failed to value the fact that she had managed to save the people she cared about, even at the cost of her own sacrifice… something he hadn't been able to do.

He would have done the same without hesitation if it had been his mother or his friends, but he hadn't had the chance. Deep down, he felt a slight envy of the girl.

He took a deep breath and pushed the thoughts aside.

That's when he noticed someone approaching him—a beautiful girl he instantly recognized as his best friend at Camp Half-Blood, Silena Beauregard. At first, he thought about how to face the girl before his eyes and momentarily forgot to focus on manipulating his presence to supernatural levels, almost ensuring no one paid much attention to his more mature appearance.

Silena was more beautiful than ever. There was a glow in her beauty that seemed to capture the light of the surroundings in a way that left him speechless. Her hair, once simply pretty, now seemed silky and perfectly wavy. Her body had also changed. She was curvier, her figure more defined, and the way she moved had a new level of grace and sensuality he hadn't noticed before. Her Camp Half-Blood shirt paired with an Underworld jacket and the leggings she wore accentuated her curves in a way he couldn't ignore, and for the first time, his heart raced at the sight of her.

Her eyes, deep and bright as always, met his. There was something more in them, something he couldn't identify at first glance. He froze, his heart pounding harder.

She approached him…

Looking at the son of Zeus, Silena felt her heart race, an intense reaction that left her dizzy for a moment. There stood Ikki before her, but he seemed to have transcended any mortal concept of beauty. Her mind went into absolute chaos, unable to reconcile the image of the boy she knew with the vision before her. The boy she loved had become a man—no, something more than that. He seemed… unreachable.

This isn't real.

It can't be him.

But it was. Even with the change, she recognized familiar traits—the intensity in his gaze, though now shrouded in a mysterious coldness; the way he tilted his head slightly when looking at her, as if trying to decipher her thoughts.

Her eyes roamed over him uncontrollably, taking in every detail as if trying to memorize the sight forever. His more mature face looked sculpted by the gods, with features so flawless they took her breath away. His luminous white skin had a softness she could almost feel without touching, and his blue eyes—oh, those eyes!—were like liquid sapphires, shining with an intensity almost unbearable. They seemed to look through her, as if seeing every secret, every broken piece she tried to hide.

And his lips… She felt her face heat up as she noticed his lips, soft and inviting, so perfectly shaped that they made her hold her breath.

"Ikki…" His name escaped her lips, almost like a sigh. She couldn't help it; it was involuntary, a reaction to the impossible vision he had become.

He took a step forward, confused by her reaction. She realized he had no idea of the impact he had. That only made it more devastating. He didn't need to do anything to draw the world's attention; he was a magnet, a natural force that couldn't be ignored. But somewhere in her thoughts, she felt herself slowly recovering from the shock.

"Silena?" he called, his voice as soft as it had always been, but now carrying a weight she couldn't understand.

Silena felt her heart grow heavy, as if an iron chain held her in place. Ikki was there, before her, alive, perfect, unreachable. But she couldn't feel relieved. In fact, his presence intensified her anguish, a mix of guilt, longing, and desperate love threatening to crush her completely. Her mind was in chaos, like a stormy sea, with waves of memories and emotions colliding relentlessly.

She had run to see him the moment she learned he had returned to camp but had forgotten one fact…

"I betrayed him. I betrayed the boy I love most in the world."

She wanted to run to him, hug him, tell him how much she had missed him. But how could she?

How could she pretend to be the same girl he had left behind when she knew she was an imposter?

The truth was embedded in her soul like a thorn—painful and impossible to ignore. She had fallen for Luke's lies, believed that Ikki was in danger, and had passed crucial information about Camp Half-Blood to protect the boy she loved.

And the worst part? It was all based on a cruel lie.

The memory of her conversation with Luke resurfaced in her mind like slow poison. She remembered every word, every detail of that moment. The cruel smile of the son of Hermes as the truth crashed down on her like an avalanche. The revelation that he had killed Ikki's mother in a calculated way, all to weaken the son of Zeus. And then came the final blow—the lie he used to keep her under his control.

"Cronos has Ikki now. But it doesn't have to be this way, Silena." He had leaned in, his voice laced with poisonous sweetness: "If you help me, if you cooperate, he will be freed. He will be safe. Don't you want to protect the one you love?"

And she believed him. Of course she did. How could she not? The thought of Ikki imprisoned, in Cronos's hands, being tortured, was unbearable. At that moment, desperation spoke louder than reason. And so, she did what Luke asked. She passed on information, revealed secrets of Camp Half-Blood. All to protect Ikki.

But it was a lie. A cruel, calculated lie. Ikki had never been in Cronos's hands. Luke had used tragedy and her love against her, turning her into a traitor without her even realizing it.

She hated herself for being so naïve, so easily manipulated. But at the time, the fear of losing Ikki had outweighed everything.

But the justification felt hollow now. Because no matter her intentions, the result was the same. She had betrayed Camp Half-Blood. Betrayed Ikki's trust. And even if he didn't know, she felt as though it was etched into every look he gave her.

Ikki observed her, his blue eyes fixed on her with an intensity that made her want to disappear. He seemed confused, perhaps concerned, but there was also something distant about him, something that made her feel even more inadequate. He had changed so much. He had become almost superhuman, a figure of beauty and strength that made her question whether they were still equals.

"Silena?" His voice was soft but carried a weight that made her shiver. "Are you okay?"

She forced a smile, but it died before reaching her lips. She tried to speak, but the words were stuck in her throat, choked by guilt.

"I… missed you…" was all she could say, her voice trembling with the force of everything she wasn't saying.

Ikki stepped forward, his proximity making her even more nervous.

"I missed you too, Silena." The honesty in his voice made her chest ache even more. "You were one of the only people I thought about all this time."

She almost broke down right then and there. Because he still trusted her. Still saw her as someone important, someone loyal. And she knew it was an illusion. That if he knew the truth, her image would crumble in seconds.

"If I could change everything…" she murmured, the words slipping out before she could stop them, "I would, Ikki. I would change everything…"

He tilted his head, clearly confused by the intensity in her voice.

"What do you mean?" he asked, concern growing.

She swallowed hard, trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall.

"Nothing. Forget it." Her voice was almost a whisper, and she raised it only to ask, "I'm just happy you're back. I was worried… Where have you been all this time? Everyone was worried."

Ikki sighed, running a hand through his hair. "It's complicated. I needed time; some things happened to me that made me lose my way…"

Silena nodded slowly, her eyes shining with empathy. "I understand. It must have been hard."

He watched her for a moment, noticing the softness in her tone but also something else—a tension she hid well. "And you? How are you?"

She hesitated, glancing away briefly before smiling again. "I'm fine. Things have changed a bit around here, but nothing I can't handle…"

Ikki frowned slightly, sensing the evasion in her words. "Silena, are you sure everything's okay?"

Silena shook her head, trying to brush off his concern. "I'm fine, really. I was just worried about you. We all were."

Ikki sighed again, knowing something was going on but also recognizing that Silena wasn't ready to share. He didn't want to pressure her, but he felt a pang in his chest at how distant she seemed. He had thought she would hug him and tell him how much she missed him, but that didn't happen. He looked at her and said, "I'm here now. And I want to help if you need me."

She smiled softly, touching his arm reassuringly. "Thank you, Ikki. Just having you here is enough for me… Sorry I can't stay longer; I have duties to attend to. We'll talk later…"

With that, not waiting for a response, Silena walked away, her gaze reluctant to leave Ikki's, but she turned and began heading toward the Aphrodite cabin.

Ikki stood there, watching her walk away, feeling that something was definitely wrong. He couldn't put his finger on it, but there was an underlying tension in Silena that hadn't been there before. As he watched her disappear down the path, a sense of unease settled in his chest. Silena had always been open with him, sharing her thoughts and feelings. Now, it felt like she was hiding something, and that left him unsettled.

In the end, knowing these thoughts would lead nowhere, he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as he turned to continue his path. Thinking about how he had slipped earlier in precisely controlling his presence to keep others from becoming obsessed with his more mature appearance, he was relieved to have noticed before completely enchanting the daughter of Aphrodite…

He had to change that too.

So much work to do, and this was only the beginning of his journey.