Chapter 1 - First Met
(The background is based on the social background that is repressive to LGBT culture.)
Time rewound. The clock ticked backwards.
Everything seemed to return to that summer day, the first time Evander met Julius.
Outside the window, the light morning mist was nearly gone, swept away by the breeze. A new sun rose slowly, stepping along the rosy path paved by dawn. Sunlight filtered through layers of ginkgo leaves, scattering onto the earth-scented path below.
Evander was dressed in a clean white tracksuit, his mid-length hair falling slightly over his eyes. There was a freshness about him, a quiet energy that seemed to glow.
Julius noticed him first by scent.
He couldn't describe it exactly, just like winter frost caught in sunlight.
"Hi, Julius!" Evander greeted cheerfully.
Julius gave a slight nod, saying nothing.
Back then, neither of them knew that the moment they met, the gears of fate had already begun to turn. From that point on, their connection was inevitable.
They are both actors who met by chance during the filming of this drama. Evander was only 18 years old that year and Julius was 25. Perhaps even after many years, when Evander thinks of his 18th year, he can only think of Julius.
When the director began speaking, Evander barely listened. He didn't know what was wrong with him today, his gaze kept drifting to Julius.
They sat side by side. Evander rested his head on the table, turning to his left.
Sunlight poured through the window, casting a soft glow over Julius's features. It was the first time Evander really looked at him,calmly, quietly.
Pale skin, soft pink lips.
Sharp yet gentle features that held a kind of distant warmth,as if he existed in a world of his own.
"You're so cute."
The words slipped out.
Julius froze.
He glanced nervously at the director, a flush rising from his chest to the tips of his ears.
"You... What are you doing? Pay attention!"
He rested his chin on his hand, scowling slightly.
"Oh..."
Evander mumbled.
Teenagers were simple like that, they said what they thought, did what they wanted, never considering whether their words would trouble someone else.
"Julius, stand on my side, okay?"
"Julius, you're really handsome."
"Julius, you're so nice to me."
"Julius, I just want to stay with you."
"Julius, I want to be with you."
Each childish line drifted across Julius's heart like wind, subtle, fleeting, impossible to catch. Evander's words seemed innocent, but deep inside, they carried something more.
Julius wasn't sure. He hoped it was all in his head. But Evander never noticed the concern buried deep in his eyes.
During a break, Evander suddenly stood and got closed to him.
He looked into Julius's eyes and said,
"Julius, let's go get a drink at that cafe by the corner later."
Light danced in Evander's dark eyes, like stars in a night sky. Brighter than anything Julius had ever seen.
Julius smiled without meaning to, then quickly shut his eyes, trying to suppress the feeling rising in his chest.
He turned away.
He reminded himself: He had to be the line.
Evander could never be allowed to cross it.
One misstep, they would both fall too deep.
"...Ask someone else. I don't want a coffee."
Julius stood up and walked to the side.
Cicadas hummed in the trees. The moon hung heavy and low. Its light painted the ground with a layer of silver frost. Julius stood beside a tree, his silhouette blurred against the light.
He lit a cigarette.
He knew where this path led.
There were so many proper, safe words in the world—Friend, Brother...
Words that had nothing to do with love.
Evander wasn't a child.
Years in the entertainment world had taught him to read people. He could tell Julius was pulling away. He saw the avoidance, the retreat,
the unwillingness in his eyes.
But—
That one spark, lit in a single moment,
had already scorched his entire eighteen-year-old summer,
branding it with Julius's name.
Evander could no longer tell
whether the ringing in his ears
had been a hymn of friendship,
or the siren of love.
The wrap party came quickly.
Too quickly.
Like a blink.
After the celebration, Evander clung to Julius tightly. He had never felt like this before, so afraid, so unwilling to let go.
"Julius, thank you for everything."
People bustled behind them, but they didn't notice.They held each other under the dim lights. Evander buried his head in Julius's shoulder,
arms wrapped tight around his waist, as if he could press him into his bones. Julius almost raised a hand to stroke Evander's hair, but stopped at the last second.
Only when the moonlight shifted and their shadows moved did they slowly pull apart.
"Julius... I'll message you... You have to reply, okay?"
It was a small crack suddenly appear in Evander's usual bright eyes. Julius understood what it is.
"Okay…"
Evander blinked back tears.
The world turned into a blur. Julius looked into his eyes, and something twisted inside him. A feeling too unfamiliar, too large for words.
The autumn wind bit at their skin. Julius took off his scarf and carefully wrapped it around Evander's neck.
"It's getting cold. Take care of yourself while I'm gone."
The warmth seeped through the scarf into his chest. Evander nodded softly.
He looked up at Julius, eyes shimmering, lips parted, but said nothing.
He finally understood
that moment long ago
had been the siren of love.
Evander smiled.
His face was radiant in the fading light, like something painted in warmth and clarity.
"Don't worry. I'm fine. Good luck with your next shoot!"
But Julius couldn't smile back. Because in Evander's eyes, he saw a cold, lifeless pain.
Evander once believed that time could heal everything.
Under a molten sunset, the sky blushed into soft gold and crimson hues. The fading afterglow stretched across the horizon, casting a delicate golden ribbon between sea and sky. Everything was bathed in a hazy, dreamlike light.
Barefoot, Evander walked along the shore. The fine white sand slipped gently between his toes, and the sea breeze ruffled his hair.
Elderly couples chatted quietly, small lovers whispered into each other's shoulders on hammocks, and toddlers stumbled unsteadily across the beach, squealing as they lunged into their mothers' arms.
He thought,
this bustling, breathing world, with its warmth and noise,
would be enough to fill the gallery of his quiet life.
But,
Within the silence of his forgotten youth,
a fractured painting of his eighteenth year,
a single moment of unexpected feeling
had carved an indelible mark into his soul.
That brief time, as fleeting as the bloom of a wilting flower, burned with the brilliance of starlight in Evander's endless night.
The moon hung high. Without thinking, Evander raised his hand and took a photo.
Back then, it felt like Julius had shielded him from the noise and frost of the world. Like he had lifted Evander from his lonely existence, letting him believe—just for a little while—that he didn't have to walk this vast, indifferent earth alone.
But now, Julius had returned, firmly, to his own life path.
And Evander was left standing where he had always been.
He didn't know
how long he would stay trapped
in the summer wind of his eighteenth year.
That wind, laced with heat and sweetness,
still held him fast.
And strangely,
he didn't want to break free—
because in that quiet, hidden corner of his heart,
Julius is there.
Evander stared at the photo on his phone for a long time. Almost unconsciously, he sent it to Julius.
He didn't expect a reply.
He just missed him.
So much that it was drowning him.
Ding—
The sudden chime of his phone made Evander freeze.
He picked it up, unbelieving,
his fingers trembling.
"Don't be sad."
"Hey… it's going to be okay. I'm here."
The voice was gentle—like a spring breeze brushing against the most fragile corners of his heart.
In that moment, the dam inside him, battered for so long by the flood of time, finally gave way.
Evander broke down,
his tears quiet and aching,
days of unspoken sorrow and longing
pouring out in one breath.
His cry was sharp and clear, full of ache, that Julius's heart twisted in response.
"I'm sorry... Evander...Let's meet."