4#04

4

I compared my hand to the smaller outline on the glass, and a sudden realization hit me like a shock to my system. My stomach churned with nausea.

Josh noticed my discomfort and pulled the car over. I quickly opened the door and crouched by the roadside, retching.

"Natalie, is it motion sickness?" he asked worriedly. "Try one of your favorite orange mint sweets, it might help."

The candy's overpowering sweetness mixed with bitterness dissolved on my tongue, but did nothing to ease my distress.

I clutched the candy tightly, my chest constricting. This unique flavor was Josh's own creation, which he made fresh periodically and always kept on hand.

He suggested, "Perhaps we should go home first? We can visit grandma another time when we're not rushed."

Before I could answer, his phone rang.

He paused before muting it, but a text message changed his demeanor instantly, "Natalie, there's an emergency at work. You'll need to take a taxi back later..."

He hastily started the engine and drove off, leaving me behind without looking back, even ignoring a red light in his rush.

I turned away and hailed a cab to visit grandma's grave alone. Though only days had passed, it felt like an eternity.

Grandma's smiling face in the photo on her gravestone reminded me of our last meeting before my trip, "When you return for Winter Solstice, grandma will prepare your favorite roasted turkey!"

Grandma, I was mistaken. I shouldn't have trusted Josh or left you in his care...

After leaving the cemetery, I remembered a hospital deposit for grandma's stay needed to be settled. En route home, I stopped at the hospital.

As I walked past the maternity ward with the receipt, I encountered Josh's secretary, Tatiana Marley.

She confronted me, waving a medical document and sneering, "Natalie, why pretend you don't recognize me? That night, I saw you hiding near the fire escape, watching your husband with another woman. How did that feel?"

She continued, "That night, the moment you fell asleep, he couldn't wait to be with me. We even used your sofa, can you imagine how many ways we enjoyed it? When was the last time you two were intimate?"

I tried to ignore her, but she persisted, "I heard you planned to visit your grandma today? Too bad, one call from me and he came running. Can you guess why?"

She thrust the medical report at me, "I'm carrying Josh's baby. He's ecstatic!"

A ringing filled my ears, drowning out everything else. My mother had died in childbirth, and my father, who had adored her, resented me for it. My childhood was filled with his drunken accusations, calling me a curse that had taken my mother's life.

This trauma left me with a deep fear of motherhood. Before committing to Josh, I had been clear that I never wanted children.

The following day, he had a vasectomy without hesitation, saying, "Natalie, you're all I'll ever need."

I didn't know when he had it reversed—perhaps it was his plan all along. I thought I was prepared, but the pain was overwhelming.

I turned to leave, not wanting to hear more, but Tatiana grabbed my arm, her nails digging into my skin. I instinctively pulled away, and she let out an exaggerated cry as she fell backward.

"Tatiana!" Josh rushed past me, his face filled with worry. He held her in his arms. "Are you alright? Is your stomach okay? How about the baby? Are you feeling unwell?"

After making sure she was fine, he finally turned to face me.