Alex stormed back toward his apartment, grumbling under his breath.
"'When it's time,' my ass. Freakin' wizard mumbo jumbo. Just say you don't wanna deal with me, Strange!"
He was still annoyed as hell.
He'd gone out for a peaceful morning jog.
Accidentally gained the physique of a Greek god.
Got side-eyed by Daredevil without realizing it.
And now? He'd just been kicked out of the Sanctum like an unwanted house guest.
What. A. Morning.
As soon as he walked into the apartment, all conversation died.
Hughie, mid-sip of coffee, froze.
Frenchie, who had been lighting a cigarette, dropped it.
Kimiko tilted her head, eyes widening slightly.
Butcher, leaning on the couch, stared at him like he had two heads.
And then—
Deadpool.
Deadpool took one look at him—
—And immediately lost his f*ing mind.**
"OH. MY. GOD."
Deadpool leaped over the couch, sprinting toward Alex like a madman.
"WHAT. HAPPENED. TO. YOU?!"
Before Alex could react, Deadpool grabbed his face, squishing his cheeks like an aunt meeting a baby.
"LOOK AT THIS JAWLINE! LOOK AT THIS MASSIVE CHAD PHYSIQUE! WHO ARE YOU AND WHERE IS MY AWKWARD LITTLE PROTAGONIST?!"
Alex shoved him off. "Dude, what the hell—"
Deadpool gasped dramatically, clutching his chest.
"YOU HAD A TRAINING MONTAGE OFF-SCREEN, DIDN'T YOU?! YOU SELFISH BASTARD! I DIDN'T GET TO SEE IT!"
Butcher finally snapped out of it and pointed a finger at Alex.
"…Alright. What the f*** happened to you, mate?"
Alex sighed. "Okay, before anyone freaks out more—"
Hughie, still stunned, cut in. "Dude. You were, like, 5'10" yesterday. Now you're… what? 6'3"?"
Alex paused.
Wait. Was he?
…Shit. He hadn't even realized.
Frenchie, still staring, circled around him like he was examining a rare alien species.
"You are… different, mon ami."
Alex scratched his head. "Yeah, uh. Growth spurt?"
Deadpool screamed.
"YOU DON'T JUST GROW SPURTS LIKE THAT OVERNIGHT, HERCULES!"
Kimiko just walked up and poked his bicep.
It didn't budge.
Her eyes narrowed suspiciously.
Deadpool wasn't done.
"ARE YOU EVEN HUMAN ANYMORE?! HOLY SH**—LOOK AT THESE SHOULDERS!"
He dramatically pointed at Butcher.
"LOOK AT THIS DUDE. HE COULD BENCH PRESS A F*ING CAR NOW.**"
Butcher sighed, rubbing his face. "Oi, sunshine. What the hell did you do?"
Alex hesitated. "Uh…"
Deadpool immediately gasps.
"OH MY GOD. IT'S THE GAUNTLET, ISN'T IT?!"
Alex winced.
"…Maybe."
Deadpool grabs Hughie by the shoulders, shaking him violently.
"DO YOU REALIZE WHAT THIS MEANS?!"
Hughie, still recovering from shock, muttered, "That he's… on steroids?"
"NO, YOU ABSOLUTE PEASANT!" Deadpool spun dramatically. "HE'S GONNA TURN INTO A FINAL BOSS CHARACTER!"
Frenchie nodded thoughtfully. "He is looking rather Doomsday-esque."
Deadpool pointed wildly. "SEE?! HE GETS IT!"
Alex groaned. "Can everyone calm the hell down?"
Butcher crossed his arms. "Alright, listen, mate. You don't just go out for a f***ing jog and come back lookin' like Superman's gym bro. What. Happened."
Alex sighed.
"…I leveled up?"
The room went dead silent.
Hughie blinked. "I—what?"
Deadpool, now laying on the floor, let out a dramatic gasp. "OH SWEET BABY THANOS, HE'S AN RPG CHARACTER!"
Frenchie lit another cigarette. "…I have so many questions."
Kimiko nodded.
Butcher rubbed his temples.
"Alright. Whatever. As long as ya don't start glowing and shootin' f***ing lasers, we'll deal with it later."
Alex nervously glanced at his Infinity Gauntlet.
"…Yeah. Sure. No lasers. Definitely not."
Deadpool immediately squinted at him.
"YOU'RE LYING, AREN'T YOU?!"