feelings are confusing

Soon enough, we made our way back to the academy, where Lillian and I finally parted ways with a soft farewell. Even as I walked back to my dorm, I could still feel the warmth of her hand in mine, the faint scent of flowers lingering in my hair from our time together. It had been… nice.

Really nice.

Maybe even too nice.

I sighed, shaking my head as I reached my door. I needed to clear my head before it turned into some embarrassing mess of overanalyzing every single moment of the date. Unfortunately, fate had other plans.

As soon as I stepped inside, I was greeted by the sight of Tessa sitting casually on her bed, one leg crossed over the other, an all-too-familiar smirk playing on her lips.

"Well, well," she drawled, tapping her fingers against her knee. "Look who's back. Took your sweet time, didn't you?"

I groaned, already sensing where this was going. "Tessa, please. I'm tired."

"Oh, I'm sure you are," she said, leaning forward slightly. "After all, you spent all day with Lillian. Must've been quite the date."

I narrowed my eyes at her. "What, are you jealous?"

She snorted. "Hardly. Just… surprised." Her gaze flickered to me, studying my face with an unreadable expression. "If you were the original Sera, the sheer thought of being close to Lillian would've never crossed your mind."

I sighed, setting down my belongings before plopping onto my bed. "Tessa, we've been over this. I'm not her. You know that." I turned my head to look at her. "I don't know what else I can say to convince you."

Tessa was quiet for a moment, her red eyes thoughtful. "I know," she admitted. "I've accepted that you aren't her, but… it's still a bit surreal."

I frowned slightly. "What feels surreal?"

She leaned back against the headboard, her fingers idly tracing a pattern on the fabric. "The way things are now. The way everyone seems to like you—a lot." She let out a soft chuckle, shaking her head. "In the past, things were… different. The Sera Vandren I knew didn't have people gravitating toward her like this."

I exhaled, sitting up slightly. "But has anything really changed? Everyone is still themselves. You're still you. Camille's still Camille. Claire, Diana, Lillian… they're all still them." I gave her a small, knowing smile. "This is better, isn't it?"

She didn't answer immediately. Instead, she glanced at me, her expression softer than usual. "Yeah… I guess so."

A comfortable silence settled between us. I was about to get up and change for the night when Tessa suddenly spoke again.

"…Can I hug you?"

I blinked, my head snapping toward her in surprise. "Huh?"

She shrugged, but there was something almost shy about the way she averted her gaze. "If you don't want to, it's fine. Forget I asked."

Something about the way she said it made my chest tighten slightly. I wasn't sure if it was the quiet sincerity in her voice or the fact that Tessa never asked for things outright, but…

I sighed, feeling my face heat up. "No, it's fine. I guess."

Before I could process what was happening, I felt her arms wrap around my waist, pulling me into a surprisingly gentle embrace. Her warmth seeped into me, her presence steady and grounding.

She rested her head on my shoulder, letting out a small, content sigh.

"…You smell like Lillian."

I felt my face burn. "W-Well, I was around her all day," I stammered, trying to ignore how warm her breath felt against my skin.

Tessa let out a low chuckle, but she didn't let go. "Figures," she murmured. "You know, if you keep spending time with her like this, people might start getting the wrong idea."

I swallowed hard. "What—what wrong idea?"

She smirked against my shoulder. "That you like her."

I sputtered. "I—we're just friends! It was one date—wait, not even a real date! It was a bet! A bet, Tessa!"

She hummed, clearly unconvinced. "Mmm, sure."

I groaned. "You're impossible."

Tessa finally pulled away, but not before ruffling my hair like I was some flustered child. "You love me anyway."

I shot her a glare, though it lacked any real heat. "Debatable."

She simply grinned, stretching her arms over her head. "Well, if you ever get tired of Lillian, you know where to find me."

My face practically exploded in heat. "Tessa!"

She just laughed, flopping onto her bed with the kind of smug satisfaction that made me want to throw my pillow at her. "Goodnight, princess."

I groaned, dragging my hands down my face. "I'm seriously reconsidering this whole 'friends' thing," I muttered, mostly to myself.

Still grinning, Tessa rolled onto her side, clearly amused by my suffering. "Mmm, sure you are."

Deciding I'd had enough teasing for one day, I pushed myself off the bed and made my way to the bathroom to clean up. The cool water against my skin was refreshing, washing away the lingering warmth on my face. Today had been… long. Long, eventful, and, if I was being honest with myself, kind of blissful.

As I changed into something more comfortable, my thoughts inevitably drifted back to Lillian—her laughter, her warm hand in mine, the way her eyes softened when she looked at me. My fingers brushed absentmindedly over the golden bracelet now adorning my wrist. It was strange how something so simple could make my heart flutter like that.

But did I like Lillian?

The question made my stomach twist, and I wasn't sure why. I liked spending time with her, that was obvious. She made me feel… safe, warm—like I was someone important. But did that mean I liked her in that way?

I frowned, flopping onto my bed and staring up at the ceiling. My heart was starting to race just thinking about it, and that wasn't exactly helping me get the answer I wanted.

Maybe it was just the excitement of the day. Or maybe… maybe I was overthinking everything.

I sighed, rolling onto my side, my fingers absentmindedly brushing over my bracelet again. "It's just a bet," I murmured to myself. "That's all."

And yet, as I closed my eyes and let the exhaustion of the day pull me under, the last thing I remembered before drifting off into dreamland was Lillian's smile.

---

Another day of festival prep. Another day closer to potential embarrassment.

The maid outfits were finally here. All that was left was to try them on, and yet, as I stared at the black-and-white ensemble in my hands, I couldn't help but question every single life choice that had led me to this moment.

"I still can't believe we're doing this," I muttered, frowning at the frilly apron as if it had personally wronged me.

"Are you kidding? This is amazing," Claire countered, practically vibrating with excitement. If she were any more enthusiastic, I was convinced she'd start sparkling like some kind of magical heroine.

"You're surprisingly into this," Diana noted, smirking from where she stood with her arms crossed. "I expected you to be more composed, Claire."

Claire pouted. "Hey! I can be composed, but this is different! This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity! Just imagine the reactions we'll get—"

"I'd rather not imagine them," I cut in, already regretting everything.

Camille, who had been examining her own outfit, suddenly turned toward the group with an all-too-pleased smile. "Why don't we try them on?" she suggested smoothly. "See how they fit? I, for one, am very curious."

"You just want to see how Sera looks," Tessa said lazily, her crimson eyes glinting with mischief as she leaned against the dressing room wall.

"I do think she'll be the cutest," Camille admitted with an elegant tilt of her head.

"Will you both shut up?!" I yelped, hugging the uniform against my chest like it would somehow shield me from their shamelessness. "You better look away when I change!"

Tessa smirked. "No promises."

"Oh my god."

Lillian, ever the voice of reason, placed a gentle hand on my shoulder. "Relax, Sera. We'll all be changing together. It'll be fun."

"Fun is not the word I'd use," I grumbled.

But, of course, my protests meant nothing to them. In a whirlwind of excitement (mostly Claire's), I was ushered into the dressing room with the others. There was no escape.

And before I knew it, I was standing in front of the mirror, dressed in the absolute epitome of embarrassment—a perfectly tailored, frilly maid outfit.

The fabric was surprisingly soft, hugging my figure just right. The black dress had delicate lace trimming, the white apron tied snugly at my waist, and the knee-high stockings completed the look. Even the headband felt too much, perched neatly in my hair like I was some kind of doll.

I tugged at the hem self-consciously. "I hate this."

"You love this," Claire corrected, spinning around in her own outfit. "Look at how adorable we are!"

I turned to see the rest of them dressed up as well, and to my absolute horror, they all looked stunning. Camille's icy elegance made her seem like an untouchable noblemaid. Tessa had an effortless charm, her usual mystery only adding to her appeal. Diana, of course, carried herself with a knowing smirk, exuding a dangerous kind of allure, while Claire's bright energy made the uniform seem like it was made for her.

And then there was Lillian.

She looked… breathtaking. The black-and-white fabric contrasted beautifully against her flowing pastel-pink hair, her soft green eyes glowing with amusement as she studied my expression.

"You look adorable," she said, her voice warm.

I immediately crossed my arms. "I do not."

"She's blushing," Diana pointed out, ever the menace.

"I am not—!"

Tessa stepped closer, taking my chin between her fingers as she examined me like I was some prized artwork. "No, no. Diana's right. You are blushing."

"Stop that!" I smacked her hand away, my face practically burning.

Camille chuckled, stepping behind me and smoothing out the back of my apron. "Don't be shy, Sera. You're easily the star of this show."

"I hate all of you."

Claire giggled. "Aww, don't be like that! Just embrace it!"

I groaned, already planning my escape. But as I caught my reflection again—saw the warmth in Lillian's eyes, the mischief in Tessa's, the amusement in Camille's—I realized something terrifying.

Maybe, just maybe, a tiny part of me was actually… having fun.

And that thought was far more embarrassing than the outfit itself.