how to be a maid 101

"Now, why don't we practice how to be proper maids?" Claire announced, her enthusiasm practically radiating off her. "We need to be fully prepared for the festival when people start coming to our café."

"Well, since we're already in our maid outfits, why not?" Camille said smoothly, her sharp blue eyes locking onto me in an all-too-familiar way that immediately put me on edge.

Then Diana, ever the opportunist, joined in. "I agree," she drawled, her signature grin settling on her lips. "And why don't we have Sera go first? She can set the example for the rest of us."

Wait. What?

"Sounds fair," Claire chimed in, nodding along way too eagerly.

"No, it doesn't," I immediately countered, waving my hands defensively. "Why do I have to go first?!"

"Because," Diana said sweetly, "we need to see how it's done properly before we all try. Don't worry—I'll be the customer, and you just have to serve me."

Camille folded her arms, raising a brow. "That doesn't seem quite fair. Shouldn't we take turns?"

"Too bad," Diana said, already moving toward the makeshift entrance of our 'café' setup. "You were too slow to claim her."

Camille narrowed her eyes, clearly annoyed, but sighed. "Fine, then I'll be with Claire."

"I'll pair with Tessa," Lillian said with a soft chuckle, adjusting the frilly apron tied neatly around her waist.

For some reason, that made me a little jealous. Why did Tessa get to be with Lillian? It wasn't fair. She looked absolutely ethereal in the maid uniform, as if she were some elegant princess of all maids. There was something almost regal about the way she wore it, and suddenly, I had the irrational thought that maybe, just maybe, I wanted to be the one serving her instead.

"Are you even listening, Sera?" Claire asked, waving a hand in front of my face.

I blinked rapidly, snapping back to reality. "Uh, yeah. Totally. One hundred percent."

Claire smirked. "Good! Then you totally won't mind going first."

I groaned. "I definitely mind."

"Too late." Diana was already positioning herself like an expectant customer about to walk into our pretend café, looking smug as ever. "Alright, maid Sera, I'm coming in. Make it good."

I wanted to die.

"Now, begin!" Claire cheered.

Diana strode up to me with the confidence of someone who knew she was about to have the time of her life making my life miserable. I swallowed, suddenly feeling the weight of everyone's eyes on me. My palms felt clammy, my heart pounded, and my soul begged for an escape route.

But there was none.

I took a shaky breath, my voice barely above a whisper. "W-welcome h-home, M-m-master—AHH! I CAN'T!" I screamed, immediately burying my face in my hands.

Laughter erupted all around me.

I peeked between my fingers to see Tessa doubled over, Camille smirking behind her hand, and Claire absolutely losing it. Even Lillian, sweet, composed Lillian, had a hand covering her lips as she tried to hide her giggles.

Diana, on the other hand, looked utterly delighted as she tapped her chin. "Hmm… not bad, but you need a little more grace. Try again, properly this time."

I groaned louder, flailing dramatically. "Can I just die instead?!"

"Nope," Claire said, still laughing. "You've gotta do it again!"

I peeked up at Lillian, hoping she would save me, but instead, she smiled warmly. "You can do it, Sera," she encouraged gently. "Just take a deep breath and try again."

Damn it. How was I supposed to say no when she looked at me like that?

With a deep inhale, I straightened my posture and tried to gather whatever dignity I had left. Just get it over with, I told myself. Say the stupid line and move on with life.

Diana cleared her throat, walking in once more.

"W-welcome home, Master," I said, trying to sound polite and refined.

Silence.

And then—

"AWW! SO CUTE!" Claire practically squealed as she clutched her chest. "Sera, you might be the cutest maid ever!"

I covered my face again, praying the ground would open up and swallow me whole.

Diana smirked. "Hmm… better. But I think you should bow next time. A little more elegance, don't you think?"

"I think you should shut up," I muttered under my breath.

"What was that, my adorable little maid?" Diana teased, tilting her head.

"Nothing," I hissed through gritted teeth.

Tessa, still grinning, clapped her hands together. "Alright, alright, I think we've tortured Sera enough for now. Who's next?"

Camille stepped forward, placing a hand over her chest. "I'll go. And unlike Sera, I'll execute this perfectly."

I gasped in mock offense. "EXCUSE ME?"

Camille winked at me. "It's okay, dear. We can't all be naturals."

"I AM NOT NATURAL AT THIS, THANK YOU VERY MUCH," I snapped.

Lillian giggled, placing a comforting hand on my shoulder. "You did well, Sera."

I huffed, crossing my arms. "I better get free food at this café."

Diana grinned. "Oh, don't worry. You'll get plenty of special treatment, Maid Sera."

I groaned again, slumping my shoulders in sheer embarrassment. This festival is going to be the death of me.

And somehow, I had a sinking feeling this was only the beginning of my suffering.

"There, there, my little Maid Sera," Diana cooed, reaching out and ruffling my hair like I was some kind of pet. "You'll get used to it eventually."

"I'm not your maid or your pet!" I huffed, swatting her hand away—though, not that I'd ever admit it felt kind of nice.

Diana just chuckled, completely unfazed. "We'll see about that."

I shot a desperate look at the others. "Can we please move on so I can suffer in silence?"

Tessa, still smirking like she had been thoroughly entertained, pushed herself off the wall. "Alright, alright. I'll go next, just to prove that it's not that hard, Sera."

I grumbled under my breath, crossing my arms. "Yeah, yeah. Let's see how you do, then."

Tessa gave me a smug wink before casually striding toward the entrance of our classroom-turned-café, effortlessly slipping into character. When she opened the imaginary door, her crimson eyes glinted with amusement, and she bowed with perfect formality.

"Welcome home, Master," she said smoothly, her voice rich and velvety.

For a moment, the room was dead silent.

Claire dramatically collapsed into Camille's arms. "Oh my God, that was so cool!" she gasped. "That's not even fair! Tessa made it sound like a whole romance novel!"

Even I had to admit—it was good. Too good.

Tessa turned to me with a smirk, crossing her arms. "See? It's easy when you stop overthinking it."

I scowled. "Shut up."

Diana clapped approvingly. "Not bad, Tessa. Very refined, very charming. But now…" Her sharp gaze slid over to Claire. "You're up next, Miss Enthusiasm."

Claire practically bounced with excitement. "Oh! Oh! Watch this, guys! I'm so ready!"

She rushed toward the 'door,' took a deep breath, and with a flourish of her hand, she opened it, striking a dramatic pose.

"Welcome home, Master!" she chirped, throwing in a cute little spin.

Silence.

I blinked. "What was that?"

Claire grinned. "I was going for the adorable maid look!"

Camille nodded approvingly. "It suits you, honestly."

Tessa snickered. "I think she's the only one here who could pull off the hyper-genki maid aesthetic without making people cringe."

"I own the adorable maid vibe," Claire declared proudly.

Diana smirked. "I'll allow it."

Lillian giggled softly. "Then I suppose it's my turn."

We all turned to her, and I swear, time slowed down as she gracefully stepped forward. The way she carried herself was effortless, like she had been born for this. When she reached the 'door,' she took a gentle breath and opened it with practiced elegance, a soft, angelic smile gracing her lips.

"Welcome home, Master," she said, her voice as warm as a summer breeze, her expression filled with the kind of gentle kindness that could make anyone feel at ease.

I think I just ascended.

The room was silent.

Then, Claire dramatically collapsed again. "I TAKE IT BACK—LILLIAN IS THE FINAL BOSS OF MAIDS!"

"That was…" Camille cleared her throat, shifting slightly. "A little too powerful."

Tessa rubbed the back of her neck, looking like she was actually flustered. "Okay, yeah. That was dangerous. Lillian, how did you do that?"

Lillian tilted her head, looking genuinely confused. "Do what?"

I grabbed onto her shoulders, feeling personally attacked. "YOU JUST MADE ME WANT TO SERVE YOU!"

She giggled, gently patting my hands. "I was just following the theme."

Diana let out a low whistle. "We're going to make a killing at this café."

I groaned, rubbing my temples. "I should've picked the drama club. This is way too much."

"Speaking of which," Camille said smoothly, "it's my turn now."

I sighed, waving her off. "Fine. Go ahead. Let's get this over with."

Camille's lips curled into a knowing smile as she made her way toward the 'door.' But something about the way she moved made me suspicious—too smooth, too calculated. I could already sense she was planning something.

She opened the 'door' with perfect poise, stepping forward with graceful confidence. And then—she locked eyes with me.

"Welcome home, my dearest Master," she purred, her ice-blue eyes glinting with something dangerously playful.

I froze.

Oh no.

I could feel the heat rushing to my face.

I turned away so fast I almost gave myself whiplash. "NOPE. WE'RE DONE. I'M LEAVING."

The room exploded into laughter.

Camille chuckled, placing a hand over her heart. "I see I've won this round."

"You cheated," I accused, still refusing to look at her. "You targeted me on purpose!"

She smirked, looking entirely too pleased with herself. "Did I? Or are you just weak to a little charm, Sera?"

I was going to combust.

Tessa, absolutely loving this, leaned in with an amused hum. "Looks like someone is susceptible to flirting."

"I am not!"

Diana wiped a tear from her eye, still laughing. "This is gold. I wish I had a recording spell—Sera's reactions alone would make us rich."

Lillian, the only kind soul here, patted my shoulder comfortingly. "You did well, Sera."

I huffed, still red. "I deserve free food for this humiliation."

Claire gave me a thumbs-up. "Don't worry! You can have all the pastries you want!"

Diana smirked. "As long as you serve them properly, Maid Sera."

I groaned, officially done with this entire day.

This festival better be worth it.