Breath In, Breath Out

The night before the grand dinner, Aiden paced back and forth in his room, muttering to himself. The elegant etiquette lessons he had painstakingly absorbed throughout the week floated in his mind like a blur of words: proper posture, the correct way to hold a fork, the art of conversation, and the subtle glances expected of him.

Each step seemed to mimic the rhythm of his anxious thoughts. His fingers anxiously tugged at strands of his hair as he tried to recall everything.

The weight of expectations pressed down on him like a mantle he could not shed.

His mind raced, even as the minutes seemed to stretch on endlessly. It wasn't just the dinner he feared, but the weight of being Aiden Chase, the heir to the esteemed Chase legacy.

As he spoke the words to himself, trying to keep his composure, there came a soft knock on his door. Without looking up, Aiden murmured, "Come in."

The door creaked open, and there stood his mother, Helia. She watched him for a moment, her gaze lingering on him as he absentmindedly tugged at his hair, muttering his rehearsed lines. There was a softness in her eyes, but something else too- an expression he had come to recognise over the years: concern.

"Come here, Aiden," Helia said gently, stepping closer. She motioned towards the bed, where she sat, waiting. "Sit with me."

Reluctantly, Aiden stopped pacing and lowered himself onto the edge of the bed, his posture stiff.

He still couldn't help the restless energy inside him, and he fiddled with the sleeve of his jacket, trying to keep his hands busy. Helia studied him, her gaze never leaving him. He could feel her eyes searching, though he kept his head low.

"You've been distant lately," she said, her voice a soft murmur. "I've noticed it. Ever since you returned from Salem Arena. Is everything all right, Aiden?"

Aiden's lips pressed into a tight line. He didn't meet her eyes. "I'm fine," he said, though the words felt hollow as they left his mouth.

Helia wasn't convinced. She reached out and placed a hand on his shoulder, a quiet reminder of the bond they shared, one that she knew so well, even if he tried to pull away.

"Aiden, I know you. You don't have to pretend with me. Something is troubling you."

He sighed, his breath heavy. Slowly, he pulled his hands into his lap, feeling the weight of her gaze. After a long pause, he spoke, the words tumbling out before he could stop them. "It's the Magi," he said quietly. "And everything that happened before. The way people look at me... how they expect so much from me."

Helia remained silent, her face unreadable, but there was a flicker of understanding in her eyes.

"There was an altercation with Miss Agnes," Aiden continued, his voice rising slightly with frustration. "She... she belittled me. I tried to keep my calm, but it's hard, Mother. It's all hard. Sometimes, I just wish I could be someone else. Someone normal. Not... not the heir to this family. Not someone they all look to for answers, for leadership."

His voice faltered, and for a moment, he looked down at his hands, as if the very notion of being Aiden Chase was something he couldn't bear to face.

Helia's expression softened further. She moved closer and placed a hand on his cheek, tilting his face so their eyes met. "You don't have to carry this alone, Aiden," she said, her voice tender but firm. "I know you feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders, but you are not just your title. You are my son. And that means more to me than anything else."

Aiden swallowed, his throat tight. "But sometimes I just... I wish I could disappear, Mother. Like I want to stay in my dream. With the tree."

Helia turned to him, her interest piqued. "A tree?" she repeated softly, her brow furrowing with curiosity. "Tell me about it, Aiden."

Aiden exhaled, the image of the tree clear in his mind. It had become almost like a sanctuary in his dreams, a place where he could escape from the weight of the world.

"It's... it's a huge tree. It stands alone in a field, and its branches stretch out so wide, like they're embracing everything around them. The leaves are different, though. They shimmer, almost like they're alive. It feels warm, comforting. Like... like I belong there, like it's watching over me."

He paused, trying to grasp at the feeling of peace the tree brought him. It felt so real, as though he could reach out and touch it. "I don't know why, but whenever I'm near it, I feel calm. Like the world is okay, even if everything else isn't."

Helia's eyes softened as she listened intently, her fingers lightly brushing Aiden's hand. "That sounds like a very special dream, Aiden. A place where you feel safe."

Aiden nodded, feeling the words slip from his lips with an honesty he hadn't expected. "I don't want to wake up from it. It feels like... I could find peace there, even if everything in the waking world is a mess. I feel so different when I'm there."

Helia tilted her head, considering the depth of his words. "Perhaps it's trying to show you something, Aiden. Something important. Dreams can carry messages we don't always understand right away."

Aiden looked up at her, his eyes reflecting a quiet longing. "What if it's a place I'm supposed to find? What if it's real somehow?"

As Aiden continued to speak, his words became more hurried, his thoughts tangling with each other in a whirlwind of anxiety.

The more he spoke about the tree, about the dinner, about Miss Agnes, about the Magi the more it all seemed to build inside him. His breath quickened, the weight of his emotions growing heavier with each passing second.

"It's just… everything feels so much at once, Mother," he blurted out, his hands shaking slightly as he wrung them together. "I don't know how to balance it all. The expectations, the dinner, the pressure to be someone I'm not. The tree feels like the only thing that makes sense, but what if I'm chasing something that isn't even real? I don't—"

His words faltered as he suddenly found it harder to catch his breath. His chest tightened, his heart racing, as though his emotions were suddenly too large to contain within the confines of his body. His vision blurred, and he gasped for air, trying to steady himself, but it only seemed to make everything worse.

Helia, who had been watching him closely, immediately rose to her feet, her expression filled with concern. "Aiden," she said softly, kneeling in front of him. "Breathe, darling, just breathe."

But Aiden couldn't seem to slow down. The panic, the pressure, the tightness in his chest—everything was overwhelming. His breath came in shallow bursts, his body trembling with the strain.

Helia didn't hesitate. She moved quickly, pulling him into her arms, her embrace firm yet gentle. She held him tightly, her warmth grounding him, and began to speak in a low, soothing tone.

"Follow my breathing, Aiden," she murmured, her hand resting on his back as she breathed deeply in and out, trying to help him find a rhythm. "In through the nose, slowly, and out through the mouth. Just like this."

Aiden's chest hitched, but he did as she said, focusing on her breathing, trying to match it. The sound of her calm breath was like a lifeline in the storm of his mind. Slowly, his breathing started to slow, though it still felt ragged, his body trembling in her arms.

"You're doing well," Helia whispered, her voice steady. "Just keep breathing with me, Aiden. In… out… in… out…"

With each breath, Aiden felt the frantic energy in his chest begin to subside, though the tightness remained, like a knot that was slowly loosening. He closed his eyes, letting the rhythm of her voice and the sound of her breath wash over him.

After a few minutes, when his breathing had finally returned to something resembling normal, Aiden pulled away slightly, still feeling fragile, but the panic had passed.

Helia looked at him with soft, understanding eyes. "I know it's hard, Aiden," she said gently. "But you need to be careful with how you manage your emotions. You've been holding so much in, trying to control everything around you. It's not healthy to keep it all bottled up."

Aiden nodded, his gaze still downcast, his hands fidgeting in his lap. "I don't know how not to. It feels like everything I do, every emotion I feel, it's... too much."

Helia reached out and cupped his cheek, guiding his face back up to meet hers. "It's not wrong to feel, Aiden. But you must learn how to let those feelings flow without letting them consume you. It's okay to show them, but you need to find balance. You have to learn when to release them, and when to hold them back."

Aiden swallowed hard, the weight of her words sinking deep within him. "I'll try," he whispered, though the uncertainty still lingered in his voice.

Helia smiled softly, brushing his hair back from his forehead. "You're not alone in this, Aiden. We'll figure it out together."

For a long moment, they sat there, the silence enveloping them both. Aiden didn't feel as alone, not with her beside him, not with the soft weight of her hand on his. He took a deep breath, the pressure in his chest easing just slightly.

Maybe, for once, he could let go of some of the burdens he carried—if only for a moment.