CHAPTER 4

Belinda couldn't stop her self from crying as she was writing the letter.

It is hard without you because everything was sweetly amazing between us but now i'm in love with my self. What makes me cry even more is that you promised me Asher, I still remember your words, you said to me. 'Baby I'll always love you, I will never leave you.' Everytime when I think about those words I cry Asher. Why do I have to live a hurting life like this? Why I have to cry everyday because of your empty promises? I just believe what goes around comes back as a bitch. You left me while I loved you, not because I cheated on you but because you found someone better than me. Sometimes I even ask my self what is it that I don't have that maked you to leave me. I cheated on you because you betrayed me repeatedly. If you left me because I cheated, do you think the one that you love right now is not cheating on you? Do you know, that all your relationships will not last because of my tears because they don't fall down for nothing? You know, some times I wish to take a rope and hang my self because of the pain I feel everyday, does it make you happy seeing me suffering like this in my life because of you? I'm even afraid to love another person because he will also leave me just like you did. If you really did love me, you would have fought for loving me. You and I have a lot of memories to memorize, some are hurting, some are romantic and some are very funny, expecially the part where you used to tell me about MBAMBO funny stories, I used to laugh even when I was alone at home. Our love was really amazing and I never thought we will end up being apart. I thought you will always be right by my side, no matter what the situation is, but now I've realised that I was only fooling my self. It seems as if you used a love portion so that I'll love you like this, your love never vanished in my heart and it will never die. My life is hard in the way that even if I look at your picture, I cry because my heart is still there with you. You make me to do things that can be done by an insane person, oh! the way we used to love each other, many people wished to get love like ours, some were jealous, some got annoyed when they saw us but you maked them happy by leaving me. Fuck me! Even your friends used to laugh when they saw me, I would be hurt and cry all the way home but my life will never be like this again, even if you don't need the baby I'm carrying, I don't have a worry and I don't have to be afraid because joy will come in the morning, troubles don't last always, for there's a friend named Jesus who will wipe my tears away. There's something that makes me to still have hope with you. I still wish you happiness, even if you're not happy with me bt as long as you're happy, I'm also happy. I love you Asher, I wish I can sacrifice my self in order to get our love back. Don't forget to take care of your self. All my love to you Asher.

Your beloved ex girlfriend

Belinda

She didn't give this letter to him because she had hope that God will deliver it to him for her and change his heart. She gave all her pain to God. The paper and the pen were now her new lifetime friends. She never stopped praying to God, asking him to fix things between them. One day she tald Asher she's coming to ladysmith to visit him. When she arrived, she found him home. No one between them wanted to talk, they just looked at each other and kissed for a long time.

"I have to go and fetch warm water for a bath, please wait for me, I'll be back." He said with a low voice.

"Please take this sweets and give them to the kids." Asher said.

"OK" He exited and came back with bathing water.

"Mom said why you didn't come to greet her."

"I will go but not now, I'm a little bit tired, I need to rest." She said.

"But I think it would be much better if you go first, then come back to rest."Asher said.

" it's okay then. "She exited. Asher's mother was very blissful to see her. She loved her in a way that she hated Asher when she saw him with another girl, She would give Belinda hope and tell her that everything is going to be all right. They had a long chat together and Belinda went back to Asher's house.

"So you're really pregnant." Asher asked and mustered with a smile.

"Yes I am, how did you get to know that?" Belinda said.

"I looked at your maternity case record, wow, so I'm really the one who layed the eggs on you." He seemed to be very happy when asking this question.

"oh come on! don't ask me silly questions,I can't believe you though I was lying about being pregnant."

"yeah now I see even your belly is growing. Come here, forget bout the baby." He got her close to his lips and kissed her, she kissed him back. Their feelings started to be extremely high.

"Baby." She called him.

"Yes love." He replied.

"I see you're acting smart with me, tell me, what is going to happen when we are having sex while I'm pregnant."

"The baby will grow well." They both laughed and continued kissing each other.

"Babe wait" She stopped the kiss. "I think you're too forward now, it been a while I came here and now this!We have the whole night together don't we?"

"We do baby, but my love, I can't wait now, it been a long time I missed you and all this romance, you and I will go to bed now, enjoy ourselves and sweat under the warm blanket." He held her and layed her to bed while kissing her, he gived her hard strokes, Belinda was screaming on enjoyment, after 30 minutes, the enjoyment was over.

" Oh babe! that was so good. "She said looking very tired.

" Oh yes! even though there is someone who acted smart with me and acted like she didn't want to do this. "They both laughed.

" We need to sleep now, please don't interrupt my today's dreams, I want to sleep like a baby. "She said.

" Oh! like the one on your womp. "

" Of course. "They laughed again.

" Have a good night then my love. "He said.

" Good night babe. "

" I love you. "

" I love you more. "They switched of the lights and slept