Controlled Chaos

I hate this...I hate this...The same thought on repeat. It never stops. Over and over.I hate him!-It's all that bastard's fault...it is! If he hadn't flubbed the mission, I-"We're close." Mila announced.Fuck him! And how dare he look at me like that.With those eyes of his...I swear!I'm going to clobber him for good this time, honest!"I'll!" I looked behind me only to find an empty street coated with fog: He was nowhere to be seen.Did he run?"Where is he?" Where did he go?"Ela!" I tried warning her. Though-She was gone too.Niles. Gone. They're all gone."Damnit. got distracted. This is all his fault. Again! Again and again and again! It's always him. It's his fault!""..." "I'm going to pull my hair out! Just thinking about that mongrel, makes me! It makes me! IIIIIIIIIII'm! G-going to! I'll do it! I will!" Couldn't stand upright anymore. I fell.I don't know why, but in a bout of anger, I began bashing my head against the cobblestones. My vision had a on reddish filter. Fore-head was so warm.Blood.My thoughts were all mumbled. It's like I'm no longer my own person. What am I even doing?I remembered, Ela kept telling me, just before the mission:"When things start eating away at your sanity, make sure to take these." She said that; reminding me of something. What was it?Didn't quite know what she meant, but she did hand me a pouch. A few of the vials inside had a bunch of red pills. Medication? I reached for my back pocket. Right here. Here they are.Do I take them?Felt like my mouth was being filled with drool - couldn't swallow correctly, so I spat it all out.It wasn't drool.Blood. A big puddle of it had formed on the ground.I bit off half of my tongue. Spat that out as well. Nearly choked on a broken tooth as I kept on angrily grinding my teeth. Spat that out too.I could no longer close my mouth, felt like my fangs were growing larger; protruding way past my lower lip.Heavy-breathing. Heart pounding. My throat was sore.The pills.I tried saying something, but only managed to let off a devilish growl. I couldn't recognize my voice. That wasn't me. This isn't me.I just felt like sinking my teeth into something. Anything.The pills.If I could just find the Rookie, I'd happily kill him, to show him how welcoming I could be to new-comers.Wait. No. That doesn't make any sense. I've never even met the Lieutenant, have I? Where even am I? What am I doing?All I have is this pouch. What's in here?"Make sure to take them." Who was that?I gobbled one of the vials whole - glass and all, started crunching - the pain was nothing, I was just chomping off instinct. But it wasn't what I was craving.I wanted-