Chapter 40

A small frown made its way onto Sunny's features as he let out small pants of effort. His breath was visible in the cold, and he was surrounded with the stench of death, so much so that blood surrounded him like a cloud. By his side stood Nephis; she hadn't had as much blood soaking her body as Sunny had, yet still blood surrounded her form, forming a small puddle.

Sighing, Sunny turned around before making his way back onto the ship without a word. Killing nightmare creatures was boring; Sunny felt like he was merely cutting through air and relieving stress when he did so. And yet, he was always the first person to leap into a battlefield. 

"I'm bored. I'm so bored I might die." Sunny mumbled to himself, taking slow steps towards Valor's barracks that had been newly made in Antarctica. Nephis was glued to his side, never straying far enough for her to be unable to hear him speak. A small smile graced her features upon hearing his comment.

"Fighting's never been fun for you, unless you're fighting people." Sunny could only nod before turning his head to Nephis, a sombre smile settling itself across his lips. "It's funny that you say that, because I don't think I've ever won a fight in my life." This comment shocked Nephis, for someone who tore through so many people and nightmare creatures every time he willed it, such a comment was supremely peculiar.

"What do you mean?" By this time, they had surprisingly found themselves in Sunny's room. He had taken off his shirt and thrown it to the side, preparing himself for a shower as he looked at Nephis. "I've had some time to think, and what I've been doing is merely violence. Not fighting, cutting down hordes of nightmare creatures, killing people—all of it. It's just violence."

Nephis nodded contemplatively, curious as to how Sunny defined a fight. "What do you think a fight is then? Wouldn't it be to further your goals for it to be a fight?" Sunny shook his head firmly, a wistful expression settling itself across his face as he picked out his favourite shampoo from a drawer behind him before turning to face Nephis.

"It's simple: a fight is burning your soul against an equal opponent. It's when you acknowledge the resolve of another person, recognise them as an equal, and resolve yourself to rip their resolve to pieces."

Sighing disappointedly, Sunny sat down next to Nephis before smiling sadly. "I've never been in a fight before; I don't care about other people's dreams, or resolve, or anything of the sort. It feels like I'm just wading through life without any purpose or meaning. Like a wraith who should have died a long time ago. Maybe I should have; maybe I'll try dying soon."

At this, Nephis eyes grew sharp as she grabbed him by the shoulder and pulled him into her arms. Sunny was spiralling, and it wasn't a pleasant sight to see. Suicidal ideation had been a repeated talking point for the man; she knew all too well that without her, Sunny might have done something drastic. Hints of it had already appeared in battle; sometimes he would even let nightmare creatures hit him merely to test if he would die.

Rubbing a hand through his hair, which was bloodied and coarse yet still wonderful to her touch, Nephis smiled at Sunny. "You'll be fine. If you ever feel like you need a reason not to die, think of me. Let me be your reason. I'll never abandon you; I'll never hurt you; I'll do anything for you." Sunny responded to her hug in kind, pressing his body against hers with a small smile on his face.

"You're warm." Sunny mumbled, to which Nephis only giggled in response. Finally pulling back, Sunny stripped down into his underwear, causing Nephis to yelp in surprise. "What are you doing!?" She exclaimed, despite her hands covering her face, her eyes still remained fixed on Sunny.

"I need to shower. How can I shower with joggers on?" His reply seemed entirely oblivious to what Nephis meant, yet he noticed her eyes remaining focused on his underwear before letting a sly smile settle on his features. Shifting his hand, he grabbed his boxers before feigning pulling them downwards. Nephis eyes flashed with immense focus before Sunny let out a laugh.

"Maybe another time, Neph!" Before bolting to the bathroom to escape her ire. "Since when did he become such a tease?" Nephis grumbled to herself, lying on his bed as the last few minutes continued to replay in her mind. Suddenly, her mind drifted to more serious matters. Mentally replaying all the 'fights' she had seen Sunny get into, her mind wandered back to Cassie's words.

'He doesn't seem to be doing anything out of the ordinary. In fact, he's more tame than the rumours make him out to be. Maybe that's because of his mental state, though.' 

The thought of questioning Sunny's humanity was deeply frightening. She had come to be very fond of the man she was in love with; despite the numerous cracks in his mental state, she was resolved to fix them all. Sometimes, her mind wondered what would have happened if Sunny was the one who left instead of her. Would she have needed to enslave him?

'No, Sunny would never agree to leaving me behind. I'd have to enslave him again to make him leave.' The thought of making him a slave twisted a knife into her stomach, although the reasons were much more savoury than they had once been; taking away his autonomy wasn't something she took pleasure in doing. She had seen how frightened Sunny had been when she called his true name, the deep desire for death that began blazing in his eyes upon realising he was a slave. 

Unconsciously, tears began to flow from her eyes. Raising a hand to her face, Nephis wiped them furiously before focusing on the sounds of water hitting the ceramic tiles of Sunny's shower. 'He's so thorough,' she mused with a small smile. Once more, her thoughts drifted to Cassie.

Her incessant insistence that Sunny would be the ruin of the world gnawed at her brain and had her mind drift to deeper, darker thoughts than she would like it to. She knew Sunny didn't deserve the scrutiny that Cassie had placed him under, but she could never truly blame Cassie for how she acted. Sunny was violent, and it was their fault. Sunny was broken, and it was their fault too. 

All of her visions had merely been the consequences of their own actions that they had tried so hard to ignore.

The door creaking marked Sunny's exit from the bathroom. He had a towel loosely hung around his waist as he wiped his hair down with a second towel. Water glimmered in the pale rays of the sun in Antarctica as Sunny offered Nephis a warm smile, or at least as much of a warm smile as he could muster. "I shouldn't have come out here with just a towel, but I forgot to bring my clothes in the bath with me." Sunny's voice was meek, a hand from shadows firmly gripping his towel to ensure it didn't fall as he clumsily made his way through his clothing.

Nephis could only watch with barely restrained anticipation; a part of her wanted to cut his arm of shadows into pieces and let whatever came next happen naturally. Yet, she had to show restraint. Finally, Sunny acquired his clothing before shadow stepping into the bathroom, making sure to reduce chances of an accident as much as possible.

Finally, his final exit from the bathroom came. Heat poured from the slightly open door as Sunny moved to shut it, a cloud of steam being released from the room floated into the air before quickly being subjugated by the frigid temperatures. Sunny fell to his bed with a thud, his eyes indifferently staring at the ceiling.

"I want to feel alive." He mumbled, his eyes still indifferently fixated on the ceiling. Nephis raised an eyebrow, rolling to her side to study his features. "How so?" Sunny shrugged before placing a hand on his chin. "I'm not sure; I just want something genuine that I can look forward to receiving after a long day. Not to say that you aren't enough, but I find myself wanting something more…something different."

Nephis couldn't quite say that she understood what Sunny meant, but she could sympathise with the sentiment. It was a similar feeling to what she gained whenever she overused her flames; the complete detachment from humanity made everything seem like a blur; everything was insignificant no matter how important it would be usually.

Suddenly Nephis found herself doing something absurd. Something she would never usually do…or maybe she would if she were only a little more confident. 

Sliding atop Sunny, she stared at him with passion, longing blazing in her eyes. Leaning downwards, she pulled Sunny into a deep kiss. Sunny responded to the gesture in kind, but Nephis wasn't done there; she was far from done. They held the kiss till both became blue in the face before Nephis pulled away from him slightly, a pleasured grin settling itself across her features.

Sunny raised an eyebrow, confused but also elated at the sudden show of affection. Soon enough, the two of them became lost in each other. Kissing being their limit became a thought that was thrown out the window, their minds utterly focused on each other so much that Sunny only had the lucidity to utter a single question.

"What are you doing?"

"Making you feel alive."