What I’ve Been Fighting For Part 2

"MY/HIS VIRGINITY!" Cordayl and Esquimo say in unison.

"Yup," Madam Madamn continues smiling.

"Madamn! He is still a young man, and something like that should be given to one you care about," Esquimo argues.

"Do you not care about regaining your memories?" Madam Madamn asks Cordayl.

"Of course he does, but still Madamn-"

"Well, to regain a part of yourself, you must lose a part of yourself. I could take a limb or organ if you want?" The Madam responds.

"But-"

"It's fine, Esquimo," Cordayl interrupts him. "I accept."

"Cordayl," Esquimo tries to reason.

"Look, we didn't travel all this way, have fight after fight, only to let something like this stop us at the finish line. If that's what she wants, she can have it," Cordayl tells him.

Madam Madamn smiles as she stares deeply into Cordayl. Looking at Esquimo and his disapproving look, Madam says, "Now come on, Esquimo. Do you know how long it's been for me as well? I've waited thrice as long as he has."

"Yeah, yeah." Esquimo brushes her off. "Where is the good stuff?" Esquimo ask.

"It's in the cabinet over there," Madam Madamn points. "Cordayl, would you like some?" she asks.

"No thanks. I'm not much of a drinker," Cordayl responds, taking off his jacket and showing his strong, young upper body.

Madam Madamn can't take her eyes off of him, but does for a second as she goes and takes the bottle from Esquimo, taking a few swigs to the head, before handing the bottle back to Esquimo.

Licking her lips, she grabs Cordayl by the hand and leads him out of the kitchen.

Esquimo shakes his head as the sun shines dimly as he takes his first sip.

It is well into the night when Cordayl and Madam Madamn return to the room.

Esquimo wakes up from his drunken state, hearing them approach, and rubs the sleep out of his eyes.

Madam Madamn's hair is in a messy bun as she goes into the drawers and pulls out a pot. As she fills it with water, the ingredients fly out of the cabinets and align themselves as the stove turns on. She sets the water on top of the flame, patiently waiting for it to boil.

"You were gone longer than expected," Esquimo remarks.

"Well, he may be a baby compared in years, but he is definitely a grown-ass man." Madam Madamn comments as she takes a seat next to Cordayl. Cordayl smirks as he shyly looks away.

The ingredients add themselves to the boiling water as a spoon telepathically stirs them. "I'm going to take a bath. I'll return shortly," Madam Madamn says as she leaves the table, brushing Cordayl's hair as she walks past him.

Cordayl watches her leave the room and stands up a few minutes later.

"Where are you going?" Esquimo ponders.

"I have to use the bathroom," Cordayl answers.

Esquimo shakes his head as he pours himself another drink. "Take a shower after you flush. You smell like her." Esquimo comments as Cordayl walks away.

An hour later, the two return, refreshed and relaxed.

Madam Madamn walks over to the pot and puts her hand over it. Her hair rises, and her aura bursts, shaking the whole kitchen. Her eyes turn white, and the hand above the pot glows as she adds her final ingredient.

Calming down, Madam Madamn stirs the pot a few more times, then dips a cup into the brew.

"What now? I drink this, and I'll suddenly regain my memories?" Cordayl ask.

"No, it won't be that easy, my love. This potion I have concocted is a very powerful hallucinogen. A simple taste will be enough to put you under its spell, but that is only the beginning. There are two things I must warn you about, though."

"I'm listening," Cordayl says.

"The first is that if you fail to overcome whatever challenge you must, you will not be able to try again for at least a decade. This potion is powerful, and although I wouldn't compare you to any man, I've seen it drive many crazy upon taking it twice too soon. So I hope you have the resolve to see this through."

"I do," Cordayl tells her. "And what's the second?"

"Well, our previous experiences may have some lasting effects. I do not know what they will be, but do not be surprised if some of my magical abilities have rubbed off on you," Madam Madamn smiles.

Cordayl smirks. "I'm ready when you are."

"I know you are. Come here," Madam Madamn instructs.

Cordayl walks over to her and stares into her eyes as she finishes the mug full of potion. Bringing him in close, Madam Madamn kisses him, feeding the potion into his mouth as she gets one last kiss.

Cordayl swallows the elixir and finishes the kiss, but upon departing her lips, he feels his heart take a beat far harder than any punch he has ever taken.

Gripping his chest, Cordayl falls to his knees and starts to breathe heavily as the room begins to spin.

Madam Madamn falls beside him, and Esquimo comes running up as well. "It's okay, Cordayl. I know the feeling is different, but you are in no real harm. Relax as you did to get through the mush, and let the real battle begin. We'll be here when you wake up."

Cordayl hears the words and tries his best to follow her directions. His body is going numb, yet every muscle he has flexes to the fullest. His vision blurs as the world around him shrinks and expands in all directions.

Cordayl tries to regulate his breathing, but that's when everything turns black.

Madam Madamn floats Cordayl through the house and lays him on the couch.

"What now?" Esquimo ask.

"Now we wait. It could be 3 hours, could be 3 weeks. This fight is with himself, and only he can decide when the fight is over," Madam Madamn explains.

Cordayl wakes up in an empty white area, with random black lighting strikes coming down from everywhere.

Cordayl travels aimlessly through the terrain, hoping to avoid being struck down.

As he treks, Cordayl sees memories of his childhood. Memories of his father, his mother, his tribe. Old victories and old failures from when he was young. It's nostalgic, but once he passes the old memories, everything resumes being white and empty.

Continuing to an unknown destination, Cordayl spots a mountain in the background. Seeing that it is the only physical thing in this snow-white environment, he keeps walking toward the mountain.

Getting close to the base, Cordayl hears a voice behind him. "Don't take another step further."

The voice is all too familiar to him, and he turns around to finally see the face of the voice that has been antagonizing him for so long.

Turning around, Cordayl sees no one and is confused.

Then, a hand aggressively pushes him in the back, sending him a few yards away from the mountain base.

Cordayl catches himself, and when he turns around, he stares face-to-face with himself. Cordayl isn't all that shocked as he stares at the man who is him. Not knowing what to say, the other Cordayl speaks first.

"What are you doing here?" Cordayl 2 asks.

"I'm here to retrieve my memories. I guess you are the test I must overcome to do that," Cordayl responds.

"A test? I'm not a paper dawg, but if I were, that'd be a test you were doomed to fail," Cordayl 2 states.

"I don't think so. I have been fighting to get here, and I'm not leaving empty-handed," Cordayl says.

The voice laughs at him. "Yo, who do you think you are talking to right now? Do you think I am some illusion? Some random voice in your head? Dummy, I am you! I've been with you this entire journey to get here, aiding you in every step. 'Just breathe. In and out, in and out.' Remember that? That was me!" Cordayl 2 shouts.

Cordayl realizes that this whole time, he thought he was going crazy talking to some unknown voice. He was actually talking to himself.

Cordayl 2 smiles, realizing that Cordayl is finally piecing everything together.

"Yeah, soak it all in. I am you. That voice in your head telling you to get your shit together. That voice in your head telling you to stop being a bitch. That voice in your head that reminds you of who you are. That's me. The real you!" Cordayl 2 states, lightning striking upon this revelation.

Cordayl shrugs his shoulder. "So what? True, you've been in my head this whole time. But also true I've been telling your annoying ass to shut up because I am not you."

"Deny all you want, but we are one. I feel everything you feel. Every taste, every emotion. Every heartbeat, every smile. Every thrill and every pain. I am you, and while you are in disbelief, you are me.

"No matter what you do to pacify yourself, I will always be there. It's just like you said to Yesseia. You love to fight. I'm that part of you. That part that loves to put knuckle to knuckle and foot to ass. The part of you that loves to fight and hates to lose.

"You can run around with these fools all day, acting like the softie YOU are, but there is no denying me. The real you. And I hate this split you have created because you are so fucking soft now," Cordayl 2 tells him.

"Shut up! I got rid of you because there was no longer a need for you. I lost everything we fought for and wanted to give up fighting. What's wrong with me wanting a new life when the ones I fought for are no longer here? What's wrong with me wanting peace when the ones I was willing to go to war for are gone?

"Fuck you and the past! All I want to do is move on and live a normal fucking life, but you and this world won't let me," Cordayl exclaims.

Cordayl 2 gets angry and punches Cordayl in the face. "Fuck the past? Fuck our father and our mother? Our tribe?"

"That's not what I me-"

"No fuck you! Soft ass, pussy ass, boy. You're doing all this to remember a justified motive of destroying that weak ass kingdom, but do you remember this?" Cordayl 2 shouts, changing the scenery of the all-white environment to the battleground where their tribe was nuked.

Cordayl's eyes water as he is at the exact location of the worst day of his life. Doing a 360, Cordayl circles the scene as he switches between the now-him and the 8-year-old him at the same location, taking in the desolation of the battleground.

"I see you remember." Cordayl 2 says. "What about this place?" The scene changes to the place of his tribe's home. The beautiful lush environment, the people walking around happy and interacting with one another as they enjoyed the security of their kingdom.

Then, suddenly, the scene warps to a wasteland full of ash, smoke, and vapors.

"Fuck the past, huh? This is the past you wanted to forget? Congratulations, YOU were able to, but I wasn't. I see this shit every day. I cry every day at the unwarranted pain and death brought upon my people. And you say fuck them?" Cordayl 2 asks again before socking Cordayl, sending him skidding on the white floor.

"I can never forget. And you know what? The day you did, I saw it as the biggest blessing we could have. Because you don't remember, but it was us, not me, US, who destroyed the Youtound Kingdom. But you placed the whole burden on me in your moment of weakness. Relieving yourself of the guilt by leaving the memories here with me.

"But that kind, soft heart of yours couldn't stand the thought of being hated by the world, which led you right back to me. Because you can't stomach the thought that you and me are the same. We want the same thing. We have the same ambitions. And we can accomplish the same things," Cordayl 2 smiles.

Cordayl gets back on his feet, but he isn't speaking. That's fine with Cordayl 2, though, as he continues. "You're so pathetic. When you left those memories locked in here with me, I thought, 'Cool. We'll start over again, and maybe this time we will live to die a warrior's death and one day rejoin our family.' But you couldn't leave it alone.

"You wanted to remember. And while I couldn't stop you, I watched as you ran from every challenger. Every hero, every thug, always fucking running! Embarrassing our people. Trying to talk your way out of situations a single punch would have resolved. If you didn't have me motivating you to prove your strength, we would be either dead or in prison, left to rot by now.

"You couldn't even save Esquimo! If it weren't for me, we would have lost the truest friend we've had in forever! And for what?! Because you are so desperate to remember? I bet you remember this!" Cordayl 2 shouts as the scenery changes to a kitchen with young Cordayl sitting at a table with his adopted family, all laughing while they enjoy their meal.

Cordayl softens remembering the day, and this sickens Cordayl 2.

"But you wanted to forget about this." Cordayl 2 says as the scenery flips to the same man at the table, now pointing a gun at Cordayl's head and pulling the trigger.

Cordayl flinches, and Cordayl 2 laughs at him. "See what I mean? Look at how you act remembering! You don't want to remember. You want to forget. You have forgotten.

"So walk your fake ass out of here, and let me continue saving your sorry ass from the sidelines. I get my moments of satisfaction when you finally lose your temper, but I will never let you have those memories back. You tossed em that day, proving you don't want them, so give up and continue whatever path we are on now," Cordayl 2 states.

Cordayl stands there, silent. Everything his other half said was true, but he won't leave here incomplete. "So you are standing between me and the truth," he says.

"Yes, I am." Cordayl 2 tells him. "And I'm not moving." Cordayl strikes a stance, and upon seeing this,

Cordayl 2 starts to laugh. "So you are going to fight me to regain memories you threw away? That's hilarious," Cordayl 2 continues to laugh.

"I need to remember. If I don't, I will always question and be incomplete," Cordayl responds.

"Ohh, I've been waiting for this! But I'm curious. How will you beat me when I am the version of you that guarantees all of your victories?" Cordayl 2 smirks, striking a stance as well.