Chapter 11

Dinner with him was a bad idea, Tina knew that. She knew that and she'd told herself that multiple times while she was getting ready.

However, she obviously didn't listen to herself.

She was after all, the one who got excited when he texted her back. She had no reason to complain.

She held her breath as he helped her with her seat, trying not to take in his scent or else she'd go crazy.

She didn't want to be affected by him like this.

It really wasn't fair that after so many years apart, she was still feeling this way about him.

She wondered if he felt the same.

Probably not, she thought after raising her head to glance at him.

He was staring right at her, his eyes seemingly caressing her features intently. Like he was trying to memorize everything he saw or something.

He'd always looked at her like that. It's one of the things that enamored her about him when they were together. His eyes, that is. They were dark and usually expressive, too.

But now, they didn't look the same. Unlike before, she couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"You look beautiful tonight," he said calmly.

"Thank you," she replied. "And you look... good, as usual."

She cringed internally at the last words. So damn embarrassing.

He didn't seem to notice her feelings though, as he offered her a smile. "Thanks."

His gaze affected her more than she'd anticipated. She never cared about him staring at her because it never mattered. Because she had work to do and she always wanted to be alone. But it was different with him.

"Would you like to order?" he asked after a while.

She nodded, gulping down her water to quench the sudden thirst she had. She didn't really remember what she ordered because all that was in her face was him.

It looked like Trevor was having the same problem though. Except he didn't look like he was complaining.

They exchanged glances at each other for an awkward minute before they were served their food later on.

"So how are you?" he asked when their food arrived.

"Great," she said, busy with her spoon, glad to find another thing to focus on now. "Just like I told you."

"You know, I... I asked to see because it's been long. And last time wasn't... Well, you didn't seem happy to see me. But maybe it's because of that rude guy."

"Yeah, him," she said as she remembered the bar incident. "He was quite rude."

"He insulted you."

"I told you it wasn't the first time though," she said, reaching for her glass.

"And I still don't understand why you're not bothered," Trevor said, sounding a bit frustrated. "Do you think you're not beautiful?"

She sighed, pausing her hands on the table as she looked at his expressive face. He looked really bothered.

"I'm not the most beautiful woman in the world. That's what I mean," she said softly. "I'm not ugly, I know. But some people would beg to differ."

"I think you're beautiful," Trevor said the minute she finished her sentence. "To me, you're the most beautiful woman in the world."

Tina opened her mouth to say something, but she didn't know the words to use. It felt like any protests she had were stuck in her throat. She didn't expect him to give such a confession. And the thing was, he looked like he believed it. His expression, his tone... He was saying the truth.

And that bothered her.

"You shouldn't be saying that to me," she whispered, breaking contact with his eyes.

"Why not? I'm not lying or anything."

"I broke your heart, Trevor," she croaked. "You should be losing your mind in anger now and agreeing with that man. Maybe I'm not ugly in the face to you, but I'm definitely ugly in my heart. Considering everything that happened."

After she was done talking, silence settled on their table. Tina didn't want to look at him because she didn't want to know what he was thinking. If he was mad at her. It was his right anyway.

"I don't want to talk about that... At least, not yet," he finally said.

She raised her head to look at him. His eyes seemed pained, but the tone of his voice showed no such thing.

"To me," he continued, "You're still beautiful despite that. What's the saying, 'Facts don't care about your feelings?'"

She felt her heart constrict. She didn't know if she could stay for dinner any longer. This wasn't going as she expected. She didn't even know what she expected.

Why did she even agree to this?

She stayed away from this man all these years for a reason. She did it because she felt guilty. Because she still cared about him. Fuck.

After all these years, he was still so sweet. So kind. She really hated it. It would be nice for him to flip out and curse her or something. Even now, he was still calm. What kind of man was he, the fuck? How was he able to regulate his emotions so well?

She hated it. She really, really hated it.

"You should eat," he said.

She said nothing, looking down at her food. She was fighting everything within her not to let the tears fall down her face. It would be so embarrassing. And unfair, considering she wasn't the one who was hurt anyway.

"Tina?"

She could hear the concern in his voice.

"Are you okay?"

Why did he care if she was okay? He should be happy that she's sad. That she didn't seem to be in her best form.

Everything in her was fighting to take her purse and run out the door. But she didn't know how he'd react. It wouldn't be fair to him. Imagine her planning to run away for the second time. Gosh, she was such a bitch.

"Tina?"

"I want to leave," she let out.

"What?" Trevor asked, surprised.

"I want to leave," she repeated, looking at him now. "I don't think... I KNOW you don't want me here."

He let out a loud sigh as he closed his eyes, used a hand to rub his face and down to his chin. He opened his eyes few seconds later to look right at her.

"You should eat," he said.

"But-"

"Just do this one thing for me," he interrupted. "We haven't talked properly in a while. I'm curious about how you've been. The texts didn't really give me much info."

Her eyes widened. "But I-"

"I don't want to talk about anything too serious now, Tina. I want to get to know you again a little bit. I'm also indirectly giving myself time to think about the answers I want from you," he said, voice filled with emotion. "I'm taking my time, Tina. I'm not mad, I don't blame you for anything, but when I'm ready, I would like to know some things... Just not now."

He gave her a small smile as he leaned on his chair, staring at her. "We were friends before anything, remember? I just want you to promise to tell me the truth when I'm ready and I'll decide. Okay?"

Tina sat in silence, squeezing her fingers which she placed on her lap into fists, before she answered. "Okay."