Teacher RAGE QUIT

"I always make sure I drink plenty of fluids before my mud wrestling match. Got Coca-Cola, Pepsi, and whatnot."

Kandi, turning to the Sparkle Bunnies, said, "She drinks both Coca-Cola and Pepsi. Gotta avoid being racist by picking a side."

Mila chimed in, "Yeah, cola wars are serious business. Stay neutral, or risk being labelled a soda supremacist."

Seraphina shrugged. "Exactly. I'm not taking sides in that fight."

"You can… ummm… do you really have to drink fizzy drinks? You're gonna end up with some seriously… fizzy peepee."

Seraphina leaned in and explained, "Some of the girls play dirty… and I mean literally dirty. They stuff themselves with asparagus, chug cabbage juice… even munch on Sugar Puffs… all to make their pee extra rank. It's all about intimidation in this sport. They even bring out the Honey Monster to hype up the crowd, promote the cereal, and hurl obscenities at their opponents during the match."

Luna Bunny gasped. "Hey!! That's just playing… well, dirty."

Ava Bunny crossed her arms. "Yeah, I thought this was supposed to be a sophisticated ladies' sport."

Lia scoffed. "How dare they resort to such… underhanded tactics?"

Seraphina flicked her hair back with a flourish, eyes narrowing as she stepped forward. "Pfft! You actually think something as pathetic as that can stop me? Please, darling. I am Seraphina 'The Seductress' Storm of Brightwater… a force of nature, an unstoppable whirlwind of charisma and power. You'd need a storm of your own just to hope to match me." She gives a dramatic pause, letting the weight of her words hang in the air.

The Sparkle Bunnies stood frozen, wide-eyed and spellbound, their gazes locked onto Seraphina. The sheer intensity of her presence was magnetic. It wasn't just what she said—it was the way she said it, dripping with confidence and flair. Every word seemed to pulse with an undeniable force, pulling them into her orbit. Their hearts pounded in their chests, their minds already imagining Seraphina in the ring, commanding the crowd's attention. She wasn't just a wrestler—she was an entire performance, a force they could barely comprehend.

Seraphina went on, her voice smooth yet fierce, "With us both standing there, completely naked, covered in mud for the match... both girls ready to grapple. And then, my opponent opens her legs wide, releasing a noxious cloud of asparagus and Sugar Puff stench that quickly fills the arena, choking the air and stinging your senses…"

On second thought, the Sparkle Bunnies exchanged uneasy glances. For some reason, none of them wanted to go to one of her matches now…

She continued, "But that only fuels me! The second that stench hits my nostrils, I unleash my inner She-Hulk, barreling straight into Pound Town… and trust me, I take everyone along for the ride."

Ava Bunny shifted slightly, her voice unsure as she said, "Umm... sounds like a really competitive sport there..."

Luna Bunny fiddled with her hands, adding, "I... I hope you win lots of... cups... and trophies...?"

Kandi smirked. "She gets a trophy after every match... once the TikTok person is finished."

The TikTok person?! Huh?! The Bunnies exchanged puzzled glances, their confusion evident. Lia Bunny raised an eyebrow. "What exactly does the TikTok person do? Isn't that just an app for people to mime and lip-sync to songs... without much talent?"

Seraphina let out an exaggerated sigh, "It seems like I have to explain absolutely EVERYTHING to you carrot-chasers."

"Why would we chase a carrot? They're so, so cheap, and every shop sells them... no reason to chase one," Lia Bunny wondered.

Thinking of carrot cake, Ava couldn't help but drool a little.

Luna Bunny recalled the time she'd stolen a carrot from a snowman, the very one that had served as its nose. Oh no, she'd just realised she'd thought a politically incorrect word—'snowman' instead of 'snow-person'. Even though she hadn't said it aloud, she mentally cringed, mentally kicking herself for even thinking such a word.

"When I inevitably win my trophy after a match, to demonstrate good sportsmanship..."

Luna Bunny was itching to interrupt and correct her, insisting she say 'sports-person-ship,' but she's very eager to hear what's coming, what she is about to say.

"...to show good sportsmanship, we both then urinate into the trophy cup, symbolising our unity, team spirit, and shared yearning for the same things, proving that what we have inside is the same as what everyone else has inside."

The bunny girls exchange glances, thinking, "Well, that's certainly a unique way to do it…"

Mila said, "And then... someone from TikTok drinks it all from the trophy for a viral challenge. It gets them loads of clout and attracts attention. The matches always pull in big-name TikTokers, giving the event some serious cred."

"Yes, I was getting to that part, Mila, said Seraphina, "And after all the fluid is drunk, I proudly raise my trophy and take it home with me."

The Sparkle Bunnies weren't sure if they'd ever drink it for clout, but if it meant a million views, they'd definitely consider it…

"Speaking of peepee... Mila sometimes sells jars of her pee on Instagram."

Mila huffed sharply, narrowing her eyes.

"No, actually, I haven't done that... in at least four months," she snapped, clearly irritated.

"You don't?" Kandi raised an eyebrow, surprised.

"People pay a tonne for my bathwater, toenails, and farts in jars now. The whole urine thing? Not so much anymore," Mila replied.

"Oh, the farts-in-a-jar thing?" Kandi asked.

"Yeah, it's a challenge to get the jar under your butt, catch the fart, and close the lid before it escapes. You don't want disappointed customers only getting half a fart," Mila explained.

"It's a two-person operation," Kandi added. "I remember helping you with it by holding the jar for you while you did it… and you never paid me for it."

"I gave you credit to buy anything from your store," Mila replied.

"Nothin' on there I want... I JUST WANT MONEY," Kandi said, exasperated.

"My farts, toenails, and bathwater make such great gifts, though," Mila said.

"Imagine…" Lia Bunny started to laugh. "Imagine opening a gift on your birthday or during the holidays, expecting to get a new PlayStation, laptop, or phone, and instead, you get... one of Mila's farts or her bathwater. Poor little Jimmy…"

"Jimmy would be a very happy boy, no?" Mila tilted her head, glancing at Lia.

"Well, it's just... not gonna keep a person entertained for long," Lia Bunny pointed out.

Mila scoffed. "You don't understand! A fart in a jar is like... limited edition air! It's rare, it's authentic, it's... a signature scent that no one else can replicate. Imagine the prestige of owning one—an exclusive piece of history! People pay loads for it because it's a personal, one-of-a-kind experience. It's like owning a tiny, fleeting moment in time, bottled up just for you! I mean, who wouldn't want to say, 'I've got a fart from that person!' It's a status symbol, really!"

"But PlayStation got those games, dawg," Lia Bunny said.

Mila folded her arms, exuding a mix of confidence and defiance. "Yes, but a fart in a jar? Bathwater? Those aren't just gifts—they're experiences you'll never forget. A PlayStation might entertain you for a while, sure, but my gifts? They're unique, personal, and unforgettable. They give you memories… ones you'll cherish for the rest of your life."

Somehow... the Bunny Girl group was now entirely convinced that her toenails, bathwater, and farts in a jar were actually fantastic gifts—rare treasures, even. Their scepticism had melted away, replaced by a bizarre enthusiasm for the idea. Mila was quite the salesman... woman... umm... person.

"Speaking of Instagram," Seraphina said, her voice casual, "What about that guy from that shady country who asked you to meet him in person... and, um, defecate on you?"

"Oh, that person from the shady country..." Mila trailed off, furrowing her brow as she thought. "I think it was... um, called the Atlantic Ocean? No, wait... that's not right. Was it the... oh! Yeah, that's it. The Atlantic Ocean."

Kandi said, "Be careful about messing with people from that country...hear it's super sketch, full of criminals, it's where gangs like the Ocean 11 are from." She shuddered slightly, as if imagining the kind of trouble you'd get into by associating with them.

"Yeah, yeah, I blocked him and didn't reply," she said nonchalantly, her lips curling into a small but satisfied grin.

Seraphina leaned in, her face softening with a mix of pride. "Smart girl," she said, her voice warm and genuine. "Proud of you."

But before Mila could respond, a triumphant, almost manic voice echoed down the corridor, crashing against the walls with wild energy. "Fuck all you students!! Fuck all you girls! Fuck you all!" The words rang out as he stormed past each person, shooting them all a piece of his mind. It was jarring, intrusive—like an assault on the usual calm of the building.

"Huh?!" they all exclaimed in unison, their faces a mix of confusion and shock.

The voice continued, its tone growing louder, gleeful in its chaos. "I'm quitting this job today! You're all going to fail! Fail every class, muhahaha!" His laugh was wild and unrestrained, a bizarre blend of childish glee and petty satisfaction.

All six of them froze, their eyes wide, processing the absurdity of the moment. They turned toward the source of the ruckus, still struggling to comprehend what they were hearing. There, standing in the middle of the hallway, was none other than Professor X—one of their teachers—making all the noise, flailing his arms in exaggerated triumph. His wild gestures and over-the-top boasting only made the absurdity of the situation more intense.

Professor X threw his hands up, his voice loud and obnoxious, dripping with childish arrogance. "I'm quitting this shitty teaching job today… no more of this nonsense! I'm done with dealing with all of you, with your stupid questions and boring classes! I'm moving up in the world, baby! I'm going to make a difference in the world! I've got a way better job now, a real job… one that actually matters! A job I'm so passionate about... something way cooler than this dumb teaching crap!"

Ava blinked, clearly lost for words. "Ummmm... okay... congratulations, I guess?" she said hesitantly, still trying to process it all.

Squinting in disbelief, Luna Bunny raised an eyebrow. "What exactly is this new job of yours? You seem... a little too happy about it."

Professor X said, "After today, I'm done with teaching. I'm quitting this job and becoming a full-time Discord chat mod."

Luna Bunny shook her head in disbelief. "You're becoming a what now?!"

And that was all it took. Seraphina exploded into laughter, louder than ever before. She laughed so hard that she could barely breathe, clutching her sides as tears streamed down her cheeks. "OH. MY. GOD! I'M GONNA DIE! HAHAHA! Gasp PLEASE... PLEASE STOP! MY SIDES... THEY'RE GOING TO TURN INSIDE OUT... I CAN'T... BREATHE... HAAAAHAA!"