Chapter 11

Without thinking, I rushed to the exit of the school after class. I didn't think about anything else; my feet raced towards her house as if on instinct. I'm really crazy, I thought, but somehow I didn't care...

As I stood in front of the door to her room, I could feel my heavy, tired breathing.

"It was my friends that scared you, right?" I asked through the door.

She didn't answer.

Yes, I knew what had happened. I had long thought they were jealous, but I tried to ignore it.

"If you don't answer, I'm gonna go fight them right now," I added.

"Are you stupid?" came her muffled voice from behind the door.

Hearing her voice, I smiled in relief.

"No."

"You know... we probably shouldn't be friends." 

I knew she didn't mean it because her voice sounded a little broken and hurt. Still, I asked calmly, "You don't want to?"

There was a pause before she answered.

"I... it's not like that..."

"Then why?" I asked.

"You should hang out with them instead. I'm boring."

Her words confirmed my suspicion. Just as I thought, my friends had told her something.

I sighed. "I decide who I want to be friends with, okay? No one can keep us apart. Besides, you're not boring."

I've always been pretty straightforward and I didn't want to give her the opportunity to say something stupid.

"Then... you mean... you'll... choose me?"

What is she talking about? Does she really think I'm going to leave her? What did they tell her anyway? She's so stupid to listen to them!

On the one hand, I was angry with her for thinking that, but on the other hand, her words were like medicine for my heart. I could hear in her voice, in her words, that she cared about me, that she didn't want to lose me. This means that I'm not the only one who has these feelings about our relationship, right?

Why do I feel so good? I... Why am I happy about this? What is this feeling in my chest? I thought nervously, twirling my hair around my finger. I had never experienced anything like this before. Why and where did these feelings come from?

"If they make me choose, of course I'll choose you," I said.

"I don't deserve you..."

I wanted to scream. What are you saying?! You... I... What words did I want to say?

I couldn't express what I really wanted to say, so all that came out was, "Oh, stop being so dramatic."

"See, I'm being dramatic? And you're not having any fun with me..." came her disappointed reply.

I put my hands on the door, which was locked on the other side.

"Don't be ridiculous! I'm having fun with you!" I shouted.

I struggled to find the right words to make her smile. Ah... I really wanted to make her smile... But why was I so bad at expressing my feelings?

"Are you coming to school tomorrow?" I asked.

She was still silent... What should I do? At that time, I just didn't know how to articulate my thoughts properly.

But there was one thing I could do. "Can you at least open the door? I have to give you a note from the teacher," I said.

It was such an obvious and stupid lie. But for some reason, she decided to play along. I heard an awkward rustling and soft footsteps approaching the door. It opened quietly, revealing her face.

I looked at her face, at her slightly tired and sleep-deprived eyes, at her disheveled pink hair... Had she really not gotten enough sleep? Had she really been that anxious?

I couldn't hold back any longer...

I swung the door open and burst into her room, wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to me...

"What are you doing?" she asked, making no attempt to free herself from my embrace.

Why was my heart racing as I held her in my arms? Why didn't I want to let her go? All these feelings were so strange and frightening that I wanted to push them away... deep inside me... but at the same time I couldn't...

"Wanna play games?" I asked.

It seemed like all I could do was offer to spend time together. Because I didn't know what to say, how else to express my feelings. And would she even understand these strange feelings that I couldn't understand myself?

"Now?" she asked.

"I'm not leaving until you say yes."

Perhaps my direct and outgoing nature counterbalanced her insecure and reserved nature, preventing her from saying no.

We played late into the night that day. I didn't notice the sun had set, and when I finally looked up, it was late.

After the game, we sat side by side on the floor, leaning against her bed, and she told me what had happened.

"I'm really sorry. They said all kinds of things. That I was in your way, that we were different. And that you were tired of me."

We looked at each other.

"Should I teach them a lesson?" I asked.

She chuckled softly. "No, I don't like fights."

"But what if they bother you again?"

Even though she claimed she didn't like conflict, I was willing to stand up for her against anyone who dared to hurt her.

She smiled again, "Don't worry about that. As long as I have you, I don't care about them..."

I don't understand... Was it her smile or her words that made my heart flutter?