Delusions

It was just a "hi." Two simple syllables. Nothing more.

So why was I still thinking about it?

I'd walked into the agency this morning like any other day—tired, maybe a little off-balance, but nothing too unusual. But as soon as I saw her, I felt that stupid twist in my stomach again. The memory of her voice, that casual greeting. "Hi." No smile, no pressure. Just… acknowledgment.

I didn't know why it bugged me. It wasn't a big deal, right? People said "hi" to each other all the time. Hell, I said "hi" to strangers and coworkers every day. It wasn't like I was some loner who never spoke to anyone.

-But this one hit different-

Maybe it was because it wasn't the usual "hi." Most people only gave me polite nods or brief greetings, like they couldn't be bothered. But her? She'd said it like she genuinely saw me. Not some model or guy passing through the agency, but just… me. For a second, I had the stupid idea that maybe I meant something to her. But that was a thought I couldn't afford.

-I didn't want that. I didn't need that-

Relationships, feelings, emotions—they were distractions. I knew that. I'd always known that. It wasn't like I was heartless. I just didn't buy into the idea that I needed someone to complete me. Hell, most of the time, I didn't even know how to talk to people. What was the point of complicating things with attachments?

But there was that "hi." That little spark, that moment where I felt seen, and suddenly, I found myself wondering what it would be like to be more than just a passing stranger.

-I hated myself for thinking about it-

Because I knew how this went. It wasn't love. It wasn't even attraction. It was the idea of something—something I wasn't ready for, something that would take me off track. I didn't have time for any of that. I had my own stuff to figure out. My work, my goals, my life—it was all too fragile, too focused to be distracted by something that wasn't even real.

And maybe that was the hardest part: admitting that it wasn't real. That "hi" wasn't a secret message or an invitation to something more. It was just a greeting. One fleeting moment that would mean nothing in a week, a month, or a year.

I could appreciate it for what it was. A brief encounter. A tiny connection. It was a nice moment. But it wasn't something to get attached to. Because the more I thought about it, the more I realized how easy it would be to get lost in the fantasy of it all. To let that little spark grow into something bigger—something I didn't want, something I couldn't afford.

I wasn't the type of person to chase after a fantasy. I wasn't the type of person who got caught up in emotions that would drag me down. I had my own path, my own ambitions, and those were the only things I could afford to care about.

But man… why did it have to feel so real in the moment?

I couldn't lie. There was something about her that made me want to say more than just "hi." Maybe it was how she wasn't like the others—how she didn't treat me like some object to be admired from afar. How she didn't seem to care about the reputation, the job, the image. Just a regular person, just another person in the crowd.

That's what made it so damn confusing. Because, for a split second, I thought maybe I could just let myself feel something. But the reality was, I couldn't. It wasn't my style. I had enough on my plate without chasing after feelings that wouldn't last.

I could let the "hi" be what it was: a brief encounter. A reminder that I wasn't invisible, that I could have simple connections with people. But that's where it stopped.

- I didn't need any more than that-

I turned away, pushing the thoughts out of my mind. I wasn't going to chase a dream that didn't exist. Not this time.

-And that was enough-

-To be real i would like to would want my delusions to come true-

A perfect partner that matches my interest-

A perfect partner that will build our future together-

A perfect partner that...

But with the act that i have played till now it was something that would reject things like that-lie about that-change my perception about that-to something t..that is more plausible to my character.

- I have always been delusional-

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