one

I'm dead.At least, I think I am.It would explain why I couldn't feel my limbs, or see nothing but darkness all around me.I felt like I was floating, as if I was one with the air.Yet, slowly, I was regaining control of my senses.Sure enough, the hammering in my head grew louder and louder, until my ears started ringing with the pain.I think I tried to grasp my head-anything to make the pain go away, but I couldn't tell in the darkness. It did stop the ringing, however.When my ears weren't about to go deaf, I started moving my hands around-trying to make out anything. Some time during the headache, I had regained feeling in my limbs.My body felt like it was on fire, but I bared my teeth through the pain.Initially, I touched around my eyes, and my head, feeling a soft cloth around my eyes. I tried to untie the knot on the blindfold, but my hands kept shaking too much for me to focus.The feeling of the rough, cool stone underneath my hands and legs was heavensent, even if I was possibly sitting in mud.I tried to crawl ahead, using the wall beside me as a guide. Five steps, and the sound of pulling chains dragged me back to where I was.I pulled again, and again, despite my body screaming at the excursion.Just when I was bent, heaving on the floor from the pain, I heard distant footsteps getting nearer and nearer.My heartbeat sped up for some unknown reason, fear overtaking my senses. It was like my body feared whoever was approaching, but my mind was in a locked state of amnesia.I tried to stand-up, but the chains were positioned in a way to have me kneeling on the floor.Then, there was a loud thud as the door hit the stone wall. The noise reverberated in my head tenfold until I had to grind my teeth to make it stop.There was a manly chuckle as footsteps approached me, I tried to speak but instead, let out a croak of pain.'There, there, ' A hand grasped my jaw, pulling open my mouth. I tried to pull away until I felt water pouring down my throat.I gulped greedily, as much as I could. But, it wasn't enough, and before long, it stopped.'Let's not be so greedy, now, yes?'I took a deep breath, 'What do you want with me?''You don't recognize me?' A hint of surprise. The voice did sound familiar, now that he mentioned it, but I couldn't put a name on it in my state.'My bad. Here, let me take this off,' Hands worked the knot at the back of my head, and the blindfold came off.I blinked, squinting against the sudden light. The room was still dim, but I could at least see where I was.It looked like a basement, if the abundance of windows were any indicator. But, it looked to small to be a basement, maybe part of the basement?But, I couldn't figure out the brick walls, it looked like one of those things you see in old-timey shows.Yet, what surprised me the most was the person standing in front of me.'You..''Come now, don't look so shocked,' He smiled at me in a way that made me back-up against the wall, trying to get away from him-no longer feeling any pain.My panic was rising as he approached me, kneeling right in front of me. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't breathe, I cou-He gently touched my cheek, and I cringed outwardly, immediately pulling my face away.His features-once showing concern contorting into something more serious, 'Darling, you have no idea how much I missed you.'I tried to say something, but all I could get out was shaky breaths. He couldn't be here, I had seen him be taken away. So, how was he here?He tried to touch me again, his eyebrows bunching up in concern, 'Sweetheart, are y-''Don't touch me!' I found my voice again, as well as the power to move. I sat up as much as the chains would allow me to, then pulled on the chains again and again in a rush.In my panicked state, I forgot about the pain. All I knew was that I had to escape.I didn't even hear his words until I felt his hands on my shoulders. I screamed in fear, cowering into the wall.I looked at everything but him, trembling and shaking, 'No, no, no.'When I blinked again, I was staring up at the white roof in my bedroom.I could hear my uneven breathing ricocheting off the walls, feel the wetness of the tears on my cheeks, and the sweat covering my forehead.I lay there, simply staring up at the roof for minutes, hours, I wasn't sure.When I blinked again, I noticed daylight already covering the walls.My phone showed that it was 8.34 a.m. I had an appointment with my therapist at 10 a.m.- something that I was definitely not looking forward to.I knew I wouldn't sleep again, this had become my daily routine for the past two weeks.So, I simply lay in bed, staring at the walls until I heard my parents shuffling around the house.There was a knock on my door, then, 'Alicia, sweetheart, time to wake up.'I mentally eye-rolled. It was a Sunday, I had absolutely no reason to be up at 10 a.m., or, at least, I didn't before.Downstairs, my parents were having breakfast. I murmured a greeting, and grabbed myself some orange juice.'Morning, sweetheart. How did you sleep last night?'Another sip, 'It was fine.'I felt both of their eyes on me, probably trying to figure out if I was telling the truth. Thank God for thick walls.'That's so good to hear!' Mom kept a plate of french toast in front of me. It tasted like sawdust in my mouth.When I was halfway through forcing it down my throat, I turned my parents, 'Do I still have to see a therapist?'Dad sighed, probably recalling the argument we'd had just a few days ago on the exact same topic, 'Sweetheart, you know it's good for you.'Instantly, I felt anger flare up in me. Before I could blow up again, I got up and stomped up to my room.I knew for a fact that they weren't doing this for me, but more so for themselves. It was a pointless argument.I threw my phone on my bed, huffing in anger. There was a ping sound from my phone as soon as I sat on my bed.As if he'd read my mind, Alex's name lit up my screen.alex: u up?I scoffed, he knew I was up.mira: i really don't wanna goalex: i know :(mira: well, save me thenalex: nah, don't feel like getting on ur parents bad sidemira: who's side are u on?????Annoyed, I went downstairs when I heard my mom calling.I got in the backseat, staring out the window as we drove to Dr. Matthews office.It was located right next to the city park. I would've admired the view if it weren't for the antiseptic smell in the air that I'd come to hate.It was a very small building which did nothing to ease the anxious feeling I got everytime I came here.The receptionist was already waiting for us, leading me straight to Dr. Matthews office when we entered.Dr. Matthews looked up, smiling at me, 'Mira, me favorite client!' She gestured to the chair across the table.I approached slowly, looking around for any possible emergency exits.The office was so blindingly white it gave me chills. I should've worn a sweater.Dr. Matthews was a tall lady, somewhere in her early thirties. And according to her, she loved her job.'So, how was your week, Mira?' She was searching for something underneath her desk.'It was fine,' I answered lamely.'Oh, you go back to school tomorrow, is that correct?'I cringed, not wanting to think about that, 'Yes.'She got her yellow notepad out, writing something on it, 'And, how do you feel about?''Okay, I guess.''You guess?' She countered, 'I thought you'd be excited to return back to your normal life.She had me there, I was more than eager to get back to how things were before. The thing was, nothing was the same as before.I shrugged, 'Just nervous, it's been a while.''What exactly are you nervous about?' She eyed me over the yellow notepad in a way that made me squirm in the uncomfortable armchair.'You know, ' I scrambled for an excuse, 'That first day nervous feeling you get.''Really?' She eyed me for a few seconds more, before turning back to scribbling on the notepad, 'I see. Well, that's normal. What about your friends, are you excited to see them?''Sure, ' The lie came easily.'Have you met with any of your friends these past two weeks?''Yeah, sure.' Another lie.She hummed, then, 'What about a boyfriend?''I, 'I averted my eyes, '-don't have one.''Never?' Her tone sounded a bit skeptical, so I kept my eyes averted.I shook my head, 'No.''I see, ' I took a chance, and looked over to see her writing in the notepad again. As if she'd noticed me watching her, she looked up, asking, 'And what about others?'I blinked, her eyes unnerved me, 'Others?''Well, your accident was all over the news. I can't imagine all that settling down any time soon.'She got up from her seat, walking over to the left wall where an array of weird-looking items were all on display. She grabbed what looked like an hourglass, only it was empty.'What doe-'She turned around, looking at me, 'People will be gossiping, Mira. Are you sure you can handle that?''Yes,' I was staring at the weird object in her hands. Distracted, I asked, 'What's that?''Oh, this?' She brought the item towards me, 'It's an hourglass.''But, it's emp-''Actually, it's completely full. Here, ' She handed it to me, 'Take a closer look.'Skeptical, I looked at the glass. I was about to give up, when, at a certain angle of the light hitting the glass, I saw bubbles moving to the bottom.'Wait, what?''You can only see the bubbles in LED lighting. A marvel of technology, wouldn't you agree?'I was fascinated, but, 'What's the point of it if you can't see anything?'She stared at the glass for a second before saying, 'I found this in some shop in Morocco. I thought the same thing you did at first, 'What's the point of this? I can't even see anything.''She took the hourglass out of my hands, then looked at me, 'Do you know what the shopkeeper told me?'I raised an eyebrow in question.'She said, 'We can't see the air too, does that mean it's pointless?'''That's a stu-'She chuckled, 'Maybe,' She sat down in her seat, setting the hourglass on the table, 'There's so many things that we can't see straight away. Air, Music, Feelings.'She turned to me, 'But-all those things, we never gave up on trying to see them. Why do you think that is?''I,' She caught me off-guard, I thought about it for a second, 'Curiosity?''Exactly, Mira,' She got up from her seat, 'It's human nature to want to learn more, to understand the how, and why behind everything.'She picked up the hourglass again, 'If I hadn't been curious about this strange-looking hourglass, I would've never known that something as unique as this even exists.'When she turned towards me, I held my breath, fearing what she was going to say next, 'Which life would you like to live, Mira? A life where you're free to be curious, to learn, to make new discoveries? Or, to simply stop acting on instinct, to keep looking over your shoulder, and never being free?''I-' I didn't know what to say, I was still processing everything she had just told me. I didn't know how to feel about anything and everything. She had me speechless.A knock at the door snapped me out of my trance.I stood up just as Dr. Matthews bid me goodbye, 'Well, that's it for our session today, Mira,' Her hand on my shoulder guided me towards the door, 'I want you to think about everything that we discussed here today. We'll continue from here next week, okay?'I nodded unconsciously, I was still feeling somewhat dazed, to say the least.I passed by my parents in a blur, as they entered Dr. Matthews office behind me.I kept walking until I was standing outside, dialing Alex.'Can you pick me up?''I'm on my way.'I kept pacing outside the office until I saw Alex's familiar truck approaching.I got in, not saying anything. I'm sure Alex was saying something, but I couldn't hear a word. My mind was reeling.When we stopped at a traffic signal, I turned to Alex and asked, 'Do you think I'm an empty shell of the person I used to be?'Alex blinked at me, confused, 'What-'That's all that came out before cars were honking at us from behind.A few minutes of silent driving before Alex pulled over at some diner. I followed him.Once we were seated with menus in hand, he finally looked at me like I had a screw loose, and asked, 'What did she say to you?'I sighed, 'I don't know, Alex. She kept going on and on about how she got this weird-looking hourglass from Morocco, and told me how I need to learn to be more curious about stuff if I want to have a good life.'He blinked, 'That makes no sense.'I gave him an eye-roll, 'Ofcourse, it doesn't.'He shifted closer, 'Okay, but then what was that in the car?'I smacked the menu on the table, glaring at him. He backed away, 'Because I'm angry, Alex! How can she-I don't-'I sighed, trying to calm myself to no avail, 'What exactly does she want me to be curious about? The fact that I have to keep pretending that I'm fucking fine so my parents would stop forcing me to see this god-forsaken therapist?! Or, maybe, it's the fact that every single night is a new fucking episode of the shitshow that my life has become?''Mira-' Alex started.'No, Alex, I begged them. I told them that I didn't-don't want to see her, that all I want is some goddamn space, and I can't even have that. And, now I have to wake up at 10 a.m. on a fucking Sunday to hear her yapping about curiosity.'I started laughing uncontrollably, ignoring everyone else in the diner giving me weird looks, 'Oh god.'I was wiping tears from the corners of my eyes when Alex came over to my side, 'Okay, listen to me.'He turned me to face him, 'First off, fuck that therapist. We'll talk about her later. Second, you said your nightmares were getting better!'I pushed away from him, not liking his scolding tone, 'That expression is exactly why I didn't tell you.'I grabbed a couple of fries from his plate that the server had just finished serving up. It still tasted like sawdust.I heard him sigh, 'Okay, I'm sorry. But, you should've still told me, Mira.''Fine,' I grumbled while munching on fries.He grabbed one of the sandwiches of his plate, I frowned at him, 'Go back to your side.''I don't want to.'I opened my mouth to tell him off, but my phone rang at that exact moment. It was my dad.Alex grabbed it, answering, 'Morning, Mr. Woods. I kidnapped Mira, sorry.'I couldn't make out the words on the other end, but Alex agreed and disconnected a second later.'What'd he say?''To bring you home before dinner.'I groaned, that meant my wonderful therapist had said something.'You know you can stay over at my place anytime. Besides, mom misses you.'I half-smiled, 'I miss her too.'