The Hero's Speech

All twenty thousand pairs of eyes are on him - the legendary hero.

"My name is Barnacles, but you can call me Barns. Or 'legendary hero'. Or... You know, just call me whatever you like. Just don't call me late for dinner!"

No laughs, just a very distinct cough from someone in the crowd. 

He curses under his breath. 'I said don't say anything stupid!' he reminds himself.

"Listen. I know I spoke around a few of you on our way here, but here's the deal, plain and simple. This crab here is named Clancy, and he's the king of all humanity. And I have the honor of being his number one.

"Clancy and I, we have a dream. We're going to reset the apocalypse! When we first started out only a month or so ago, it was just the two of us. And now we're..." he pauses to check the system message, "26,780 strong. And that number will only grow from here. That's my promise to all of you."