Chapter Forty

"We need to talk."

Ryan said stopping me as I was walking my way out of the apartment.

"Can't we just talk later when I get back?" I asked hoping he let me pass.

"And what time will that be? At 2 am again?"

Ryan gave me a stern look. His mood seemed on the verge of entering a danger zone. It also doesn't help that he had very little sleep... which is my fault to be fair. But one wrong move can tilt his mood to that zone.

"No, I promise to come home early. I just need to get going now."

"You said that excuse yesterday. And 2 am isn't the "early" time that I was thinking when I agreed to let you off yesterday."

It seems I had already exhausted all my excuses. The way Ryan planted himself between me and the door only proves that he will not budge until I give in.

"Okay. You only have a minute. What is it?"

Ryan stared at me for a bit in disbelief.

"Are you kidding me!?!? I had been asking the same question for the past few days."

I pretend to look confused. Lucky for me, Ryan seemed to buy it.

"Oh my- you're unbelievable! Why are you ignoring Ate Claire!?!"

"I'm not ignoring her," I said giving the answer I already gave him a few days ago.

"Yes, you are! If not, why are you not picking up her calls or answering her messages!?!"

"I was just very busy with the graduation preparations and applying for a new job-"

"Don't give me those excuses! Ate Claire is running a multinational corporation while completing the same graduation requirements. But she was still able to make time to call you at least twenty times a day. Yet, you can't even find a moment to answer one of those calls... or at least send her a quick text!"

"I'm just really busy. I just happened to keep missing her calls and forgot to text back. I'll call her later. Your one minute is up so... bye now!" I said as I dashed out of the apartment.

I walked straight to the car without looking back. After driving a few miles away, I decided to park my car by the fast-food restaurant. This is where I had been eating my breakfast for the past few days. However, this time I didn't get out of my car. I stayed there as Ryan's words came crushing back to me.

Claire will be leaving in any day now. But what did I do? I had been avoiding her. I not only ignore her calls and messages. I also would avoid the places she always goes to. If by chance I see her, I would walk the other way.

I never wanted to ignore Claire. I almost answered one of her phone calls yesterday. But when I remembered my reasons for doing this, I was able to stop myself. However, I wasn't able to stop the pain that took over me every time I purposely missed her calls.

I have two reasons why I'm ignoring the woman I love. First, ignoring her is my attempt to kill the feelings I have for her. It won't do any good for the both of us if I still feel this way for her. The less I see her the better. However... though she was out of my sight, she was never out of my mind. And once she leaves, I hope she'll gradually disappear from my mind.

My second reason is that I was terrified. I feel like if I spent one more minute with her, I would burst. I might not take it anymore and go confessing everything to her while ugly crying. And that is not the only cause of my fear. I'm afraid of how she will react. What will happen next? Will she hate me? I may not know the exact outcome. But I know for a fact that she will never reciprocate my feelings.

It was never meant to be from the beginning. I was only hoping too much.

Something's not right.

I once again looked behind me as anxiety started taking over my body. When I didn't see anything out of the ordinary, I began walking my way to the university's main building.

Ever since I came to school this morning, I felt something was off. It felt like someone was watching me. But whenever I look around, all I see are the students, teachers, and school staff. They were all minding their own businesses. So, I keep brushing it off. However, the strange feeling kept coming back.

Maybe I was just paranoid.

With that thought, I went to the registrar's office. After I submitted my final graduation requirements, I left the office. But when I stepped out onto the university's main building hallway, there was no one in sight. Strange. A few students were walking by before I went into the office. Where did the people go?

Brushing off the strangeness of the situation, I began to walk my way to the exit of the school's main building. As I drew closer, there I noticed another person by the entrance. The man doesn't seem to be a school staff member. However, the way he dressed was a bit formal. Then I recognized his face...

What was his name again? Ronald? Roger? Oh, I know now! It's Robert, one of Claire's bodyguards. If he's here, does that mean Claire is also here? I decided to turn to the path leading to the building's emergency exit. But once I turned, I saw two men wearing the same attire Robert was wearing. They were blocking the emergency exit and looking at me.

Oh no.

I retraced my steps back to the main entrance. But when I returned, Robert was now joined by another guard. Oh God... this is bad. My panic rose higher than it already was. I began to think of another exit. Where can I escape? The window? It wasn't a bad idea but I doubt I'd fit there. I could hide in one of the offices. Then, plan my escape from there.

But when I turned around, I stopped dead in my tracks as surprise took over me. Standing there, blocking the way to the offices, was an unamused Justine Claire Solistre.

"Give it up. I have all the possible exits blocked including the windows."

Her voice sounded so cold as she began walking towards me. I looked at her bodyguards and they all had their backs turned. As Claire drew near, I also took a few steps back. However, I stopped when I felt the wall behind me. At that moment, all I could do was just stare at Claire as she closed the remaining distance between us. I felt like a cornered prey.

Claire stopped and stood right in front of me at more than an arm's length distance.

"Why have you been avoiding me?" she asked in a cold tone.

"I was very busy and I-"

"Don't give me that bulls***. Ryan didn't believe your damn excuses. Did you think I would?"

I couldn't answer. How could I even have an answer to that?

Claire suddenly grabbed hold of both my hands. The action was so swift that I failed to react on time. And as if that wasn't shocking enough, Claire began to caress my fingers. It was bad... no actually it was good. Well, it was good in a bad way. My heartbeat started racing as my face began to feel heated. Who knew a touch like this could make me feel so much?

"Your thumbs seem fine..." She began after inspecting my hands and then letting them go. "Fine enough to reply to a text."

Her sharp gaze tells me how unhappy she was with how I behaved these past few days. I don't blame her. I too would be upset if a close friend of mine is not picking up my calls or replying to my text.

"So why?" Claire asked as her gaze pressured me to answer.

What should I do? Should I tell her the truth- No! I can't tell her that. But what will I say instead?

"Please don't do this," I whispered loud enough for her to hear.

Claire raised an eyebrow at me. Then she snapped.

"Just tell me why the f*** are you ignoring me!!!"

"It's because I don't want to see you anymore! Just leave me alone!"

I regretted those words the moment they left my lips. However, it is already too late. I can't take them back anymore.

A wave of hurt spread across Claire's eyes as she backed away from me. Without uttering another word, she turned her back to me and walked away. When she left the building, her bodyguards also left. They left me alone in the main building hall.

Slowly, I sank to the floor. Claire's hurt face kept replaying in my mind. Damn! I went too far with that one. I shouldn't have said that. But it was already done. The only thing I can do now is feel hurt as I silently cry in regret.