123. Decision, 9

(Rose)

For a while, I thought I was dead. Because... Because I'm seeing her again. She's been dead for so long, as was I...

Why would she still wait for me, looking as young as when I last saw her? Past me aged with her, and surely is at her side...

You're not her... It's an illusion. You're lying to me, daiûa...

The picture of her is changing. It doesn't look like her anymore. It looks like the wooden sculpture and shape I saw through the mist before.

You're showing yourself. What took you so long? I've felt really weird all this time.

I can't feel my body anymore. It feels really strange. Where am I?

I feel rather nice but I can't tell where am I nor whether what I see is dream or not.

I've thought I was dead...

You're here at last... Tell me. Tell me who you are. Tell me what I am.

What have you done with me?

Since I came to this world... I felt as if I was experiencing the same thing as my sister did...

A daiûa bringing me into its strange world...

You tried to trick me like you daiûas always do in the tales.

And actually you succeeded more than once... You made me kill man, child and animals alike. You made me lose my mind against and then with Ann. You played me all this time. You toyed with my unholy new life...

You had your share of fun watching us die and murder each other... Didn't you?

So tell me, why?

Why have you done this to me?

Was it only to play with living toys?

Or maybe, because somehow, you feel something for me...

I felt I was experiencing something similar to what she went through... And so I wonder if maybe my daiûa isn't a little like hers was...

Something sad, and craving for warmth. A being so desperate to reach us, it's willing to cast away its own eternity, and to sacrifice everyone else along its path.

A dangerous being as it feels nothing toward anything in the world but themselves. And maybe the one being they met, and liked to play with, somehow locked away in another world...

You didn't want to kill me... You had the chance to, when we finally met.

And instead you said something I couldn't understand.

Please, tell me...

What was it you wish to see come true?

~

I'm floating somewhere. I can guess an uneven glow and a warmth surrounding me.

Are you taking care of me, or in the process of digesting me?

I think I can see you... Why can't I move and reach you?

I'm trying to move, but it doesn't seem to work. If you're not going to eat me daiûa, then help me.

You wanted to see me, to talk with me, right? Then save me.

I still want to live.

Even though I still miss her. Even though I may not be human anymore, I want to live some more.

If what I've come to believe is true, you can surely help me... You have strength, you have power beyond what I could ever imagine.

I know I'm dying... It's almost obvious now. I wish I had more to tell.

I'm all alone now.

Since you brought me to this world, I've been alone and afraid. I've become something I never wanted to become to make it through. I'm not free. And I'm certainly not happy.

I was lost in a cruel world, unable to live as the kind being I wanted to be. Surviving, trying to reach something dear to me, but in vain.

You think that was somehow true for the three of us?

Behind the monsters we somehow became, we longed for something so much softer...

I a way, I can see how we were the same...

I feel a little hopeless in this world that refuses to judge us.

I wanted to atone... But it's as if nothing cared about it. Actually, it's true. This world where society is gone do not care at all about what I've done or what I've become.

It's not freedom, it's hopelessness...Or vain.

On the other hand, it did freed Ann, and probably daiûas like you. Have you won?

But it doesn't feel like a victory for you I guess. Had you fun in cruelty, where does it end? I can't believe an intelligent being such as you would live only for that.

I don't believe in demons...

And yet I've come to believe somehow in you.

It's been almost our family solemn duty to understand beings like you.

We've always been curious about you. We've always been interested in you. Almost seduced, though we never met...

My father lived his life dreaming he could one day speak to or see a daiûa.

My sister too... In a different way.

And in the end it turned well for her, despite the hard times we had.

It ended well for her. How worried I was about it! She lived happy.

Please... Could it also end well for me?

You wanted to migrate to a warmer place, I can guess.

So did I... So did she. And so did Ann.

I can't tell anymore what parts of ourselves we all have, that are of humanity, monstrosity, and daiûa, deep down. Are we all daiûas?

Am I human?

Am I still human? Anymore?

Daiûa, please help me....

I may begin to understand what you felt all this time.

I've always dreamt of meeting you!

I wanted to thank the one she met. I still want to meet you...

We can make something better come out from both of us. I know it is real.

I know it can be. Because, she lived. We lived...

So I'm sure you and I can still live.

We can find happiness in this colder world.

That's what I want now... I want to know you. I've always been curious, grateful or scared of daiûas. But since I realised that I was here because of you, I wanted to meet you, just you.

You still make all these emotions rise, but this time it's just you.

I wonder what you can do. Can you make this long dream end?

I want to see the sunlight again. Please, if I'm not wrong about you, please save me.

If you have feelings for me, please save me...

I don't want to die now... I want to live. And I want you to live too. Don't disappear on me just yet.

I want to see this new world with you...

~