Chapter 2

 1. someone sleeping in class, the teacher saw the fire, called him to the blackboard to solve the problem, ready to publicly humiliate him. Only stood up, the teacher began to sour him: "The results are so poor, but also dare to sleep in class, really do not know shame, will sleep ..." As a result, he beautifully solved the problem. The teacher was a bit embarrassed. As a result, he walked back to his seat, sat down and said lightly: "I'll take a nap first, ask me again later if you still don't know what you're talking about.

2. One day, an elephant in the zoo suddenly died, the keeper rushed to immediately crouch on the elephant and cried bitterly. Tourists see this scene, can not help but deeply moved, have said: "This keeper and this elephant's feelings are too deep." Unexpectedly, one person interjected: "This zoo has a rule, if who kept the animal died, then the animal's grave will have to be dug by the keeper, how can he not cry?"

3.Xiaoming: I want to take a vacation. Teacher: Reason. Xiaoming: I have to have an operation this afternoon. Teacher: What kind of surgery. Xiaoming: A group excision of useless human by-products. Teacher: Speak human. Xiaoming: Haircut. Teacher: Get out!

4.Xiaoming: I want to take a vacation. Teacher: Reason. Xiaoming: I have to have an operation this afternoon. Teacher: What kind of surgery. Xiaoming: A group excision of useless human by-products. Teacher: Speak human. Xiaoming: Haircut. Teacher: Get out!

5.See the door there are two five-year-old children playing chess, I took a look and said: "This little boy may still play, the little girl simply blind walk, like where can go there!" Neighbors looked at me and sighed: "people five years old on the understanding of the truth, you are twenty-five years old still do not understand, know why you are single it ...

6.

Came home from work last night, told my husband a joke in bed, he didn't laugh, and you know what happened then, a woman's laughter came from under the bed. 

7.Just now, I suddenly realized that my dog Blackie is a dog talent, I was about to sit down to eat a burger bought back by McDonald's, Blackie suddenly barked out the window as if a stranger had entered the yard, I went out to look around and didn't see anyone, and then came back to find that Blackie and the burger were gone .....

8.confessed several times, to no avail. Then the girl text message about me to go to the park on the weekend, I was so excited that I did not sleep well at night. Weekend invited to the Yellow River Park. Walked for a while, the girl said: "I have a sentence has been wanting to say to you ..." I that excited ah, thought this is a game, said "you say it, I listen." Then she told me, "I've seen the Yellow River, now I'm dead, right?!" (There's an old Chinese saying, "You can't die until you've seen the Yellow River.")

9.In the classroom, Xiaoming and Xiaogang passed the note, was found by the teacher, the teacher was very angry and said, "Why pass the note!!!" Then, the teacher opened the note, only to see that it was written: the teacher is too beautiful, the teacher read it and said shyly, "Pass, pass it ..."

10.One night and his girlfriend to go out to eat a late-night snack, home encountered 4 hooligans to rob, I did not say anything back 10 meters, his girlfriend did not move, the hooligans said to me: "Yo drink, meet a coward." I said: "Beat you need me?" (My girlfriend has a black belt!) At that moment I took out my cell phone to take a picture! That's why I'm so obedient to my girlfriend!

11.

I saw a pair of shoes in the mall, take a look, the salesman coldly said: "39,000 yuan, don't buy don't touch, touch dirty can't afford to pay!"

I got angry and said, "Wrap it up for me, don't touch it with your hands, I don't want it if it gets dirty."

The salesman's face was green, busy with gloves to put the shoes, invoicing. I asked where to pay, the attendant said, you go forward, okay, I took the ticket, slipped, slipped out of the mall door, her grandmother, no money! I also capricious.