chapter 3

1.

I am the head in the company." The company manager said to his friend.

"That I believe, but at home?" The friend asked.

"Of course I am also the head."

"And your wife?"

"She's the neck."

"Why?"

"Because the head wants to turn and has to be directed by the neck."

2.

Daughter: "Mom, do you love apples?"

Mom: "Yes."

Daughter: "Do you like it a lot?"

Mom: "Very much."

Daughter: "Then don't buy me any apples."

Mom: "Why?"

Daughter: "You'll eat them all on the way."

3.

The teacher in the composition class called up Xiaogang, who was usually a small-time player and had poor classroom discipline.

"What is your ideal, tell everyone."

Xiaogang puffed out his chest and replied, "I want to be an architect."

The teacher asked with great interest, "Why do you choose to be an architect?"

Xiaogang pointed to the rectangular classroom and said, "If I become an architect, I want to make the classroom round."

"Why?" The teacher wondered.

"It will be impossible for you to make me stand in the corner for punishment in the future."

4.

get mad at the drunk, so she put lipstick on herself and kissed her sleeping husband several times on his neck and face. The next day when her husband sobered up, the wife started arguing with him, asking him where he had been fooling around yesterday. The mother-in-law came over to talk things out, saw the lipstick marks on her son's face, and went up and slapped him. For the next few days, the husband was trying to remember what he had done that night.

5.

Today, Xiao Zhang, a crew member who has been at sea for two years, finally returned home, but when he got home he found an extra baby!

He said excitedly, "Who did this? Was it Dale from next door?"

"No!" The wife replies.

"Was it my friend Old Melon?"

"No!"

"It must be Little Wang, my damn drunken brother!"

"Annoying! What your friend, your friend!" The wife shouted, "Don't I have any friends of my own?"

6.

1The tortoise is injured . Let the snail go to buy medicine. After 2 hours . The snail hasn't come back yet. The tortoise was anxious and cursed, "I'll die if I don't come back! At this time, the snail's voice came from outside the door: you fucking rush again. I'm not going!

7.

 a dyspeptic patient complained to the doctor: I have been very abnormal, eat what pull what, eat cucumber pull cucumber, eat watermelon pull watermelon, how can I return to normal? The doctor was silent for a moment, then you can only eat shit.

8.

the table with a cold runny nose, but he forgot to bring a handkerchief, so he kept inhaling the snot hard into the nose. Writing on the blackboard> The language teacher suddenly turned around and yelled, "That's enough! Stop it! It's making a lot of noise!" The class went silent. The teacher then > said, "Who in the world steals spaghetti in class and makes so much noise?"

9.

"narcissism" is the next life I must be reincarnated as a woman, and then married a man like me; "despair" is a restaurant dinner order two dishes, eat the first: "the world there is more difficult to eat than this? Eat the second "Shit! There really is!"

10.

a prisoner execution, the bullet is "so-and-so county" production, the quality is not good, the first shot did not release, and then opened the second shot... The third shot ... At this point, the prisoner cried out: "You strangle me, it's too scary!