Little girl and pig
"Dave, let me introduce myself again. I am a wizard from the mysterious East." When in Rome, do as the Romans do. In order to resonate with Dave, Li Mu forced himself to become a middle school patient.
"I am the undefeated female warrior from the East." Wei Ziqi raised her head proudly, "Kick-Ass, welcome to our superhero league."
"I am honored." Dave excitedly straightened his body. He punched his chest twice with his fist to express his gratitude for being accepted by the organization.
At this moment, Dave gave Li Mu the feeling that Spider-Man met Iron Man, and mistakenly thought that his life was finally going to be successful!
"Okay, Dave, take us back to your home!" Li Mu made a request as a matter of course, "We may have to live together for some time in the future."
...
Kick-Ass, wearing an eye-catching and weird green jumpsuit, swaggered on the street to do justice, left the crime scene without experience, posted on the Internet without scruples, and checked emails sent by strangers...
A series of actions were extremely stupid.
However, in the end, his residence was only discovered by another pair of righteous protagonists, Hit-Girl and Big Daddy.
The entire New York City police, countless henchmen, reckless villains, and even his biological father... No one discovered his identity.
It doesn't make sense logically at all.
I have to say that Kick-Ass's home is indeed the safest place in the whole movie.
The protagonist's halo is everywhere.
In the world of comic-adapted movies, you only need excitement, not logic!
"Go to my house?" Dave was stunned and said in embarrassment, "No way, my dad will find out!"
"No, isn't it normal to invite two friends from the East to stay at home for a few days!" Li Mu smiled, "Of course, if you are embarrassed, we can pay the rent!"
"No, no, that's not what I mean." Dave waved his hands repeatedly, "I mean, my dad might find out your identity, no, our identity!"
"Don't worry, I have mysterious witchcraft from the East, a blind eye." Li Mu smiled, "He will only treat us as two ordinary guests."
Blinded by a blind eye?
Of course Li Mu won't, but the director will!
Dave was wearing a green suit and was almost killing himself, but his father didn't find out his identity!
Li Mu had reason to believe that even if Dave held a superhero party at home, his father would only understand it as a masquerade.
"Dave, living together will make it convenient for me to train you anytime and anywhere." Li Mu looked at Kick-Ass and shook his head slightly, "Although you have the inner qualities of a superhero, you don't have the skills of a superhero yet. You can't even beat a little Lolita!"
"Let's compete!" Wei Ziqi turned the nunchakus and cooperated with Li Mu.
The cruelty of the little girl instantly broke into Dave's mind, scaring him to regret two steps: "No, no need!"
...
Li Mu and Wei Ziqi lived in Dave's house as they wished.
Of course.
Before meeting Dave's father, the little girl Wei Ziqi changed into an ordinary little girl's dress.
Wei Ziqi's sweet and tender appearance was deceptive, and she easily won the heart of Dave's father. He warmly accepted Li Mu and the others and expressed great welcome.
Then, he disappeared from the lives of several people like a passerby.
The next few days.
Li Mu conducted special training for Dave and Wei Ziqi.
The special training method was the horse stance from the mysterious East, walking on the plum blossom pile, lifting the stone lock. The stone lock could not be found, so dumbbells were used instead...
This was what Li Mu gained in the world of Little Li Flying Dagger. He lived with a group of heroes for nearly a month. He had never eaten pork, but he had seen pigs run.
Regardless of whether the pig's running posture was right or not, it was enough to fool two rookies!
"Horse stance exercises the stability of the lower body", "walking on the plum blossom pile is the basic footwork to practice dodging", "practicing martial arts without practicing kung fu will end in vain"...
The mysterious proverbs from the East, combined with the more magical kung fu, easily conquered the middle school boy Dave.
Especially Li Mu, who has twice the strength of ordinary people, easily lifted a 100-kilogram barbell, which made Dave worship him as a god and obeyed his every word!
In order to maintain the mystery of the oriental heroine, the little girl Wei Ziqi taught Dave a set of mysterious oriental martial arts routines, the third set of elementary school radio gymnastics, colorful sunshine...
In short.
Li Mu and Wei Ziqi basically treated Dave as a fool...
...
Just like in the movie, the video of Kick-Ass and the little girl quickly fermented on the Internet, and the two quickly became Internet celebrities.
However.
There was a deviation!
Because the little girl Wei Ziqi was nervous, she did not report her nickname, and netizens did not know the name she gave herself.
Therefore, netizens gave the little girl many different nicknames according to their own preferences.
For example, "Super Girl", "Blasting Egg Man", "Red Witch", etc.
And Kick-Ass was completely overshadowed by the little girl and completely reduced to a foil. His nickname was even worse than Wei Ziqi's, and the most popular one was called "Green Clown";
Such a nickname naturally caused great dissatisfaction between the two.
The two expressed their anger on their blogs at the same time, attached their respective superhero photos, and solemnly corrected their nicknames, "Unbeatable Girl" and "Kick-Ass".
However.
The effect was minimal.
Netizens were more willing to call them "Super Girl" and "Green Clown". Although the nicknames were a bit unpleasant, they did not hinder people's love for the two.
After all, these are the superheroes around them.
They are alive!
Moreover, when the two were in the same frame, a new combination title was added - Little Girl and Pig!
...
"Wizard uncle, I don't want to be a 'Super Girl', I want to be an unbeatable girl. "Wei Ziqi browsed the web on Dave's computer and complained to Li Mu angrily, "I'm tired of partnering with that idiot Dave. I want Hit-Girl to be my partner!"
"I think it's great! "Li Mu ate a hamburger, browsed his phone, and enjoyed his slow life leisurely.
Although the world of Kick-Ass may be more dangerous than the world of Little Li Flying Dagger, as long as you don't take the initiative to provoke the gangs, most of the time it is stable.
After all, this is New York City, a world-class metropolis. If you have money, you can enjoy a luxurious life.
It's not difficult to find gangsters in New York City.
These nights, Li Mu brought Wei Ziqi and Dave, two incarnations of justice, to the surrounding blocks to show his presence, hit many gangsters who made a living by robbery, and collected a lot of money.
Although it's not as fierce as the crazy robbery gangs of Big Daddy and Hit-Girl, it's enough for him and the little girl to spend during this period.
Tenants who pay rent on their own initiative are good tenants. After Li Mu gave Dave's father a generous rent that far exceeded the market price, Dave's father became more and more satisfied with them. Moreover, he never associated "Weird Power Luo Li" with Wei Ziqi from beginning to end.
"Uncle, when can we meet Hit-Girl?" Wei Ziqi asked.
"Soon." Li Mu looked at the empty room and sighed, "Dave has been coming back very late these days. He must have used his homosexuality to hook up with his girlfriend Katie. According to the plot, Katie should soon ask him to solve Russell's problem!"