My First Assassination Attempt (And Why I’m Not Ready for This)

Alright. Let's go over the facts.

I'm not a real hero.I just finished getting bodied by a goblin trainer.There's an ominous assassin pointing at me like I owe him money.

Conclusion? I'm gonna die.

Meet the Assassin (And My Impending Doom)

The hooded figure stepped forward, his dark cloak billowing dramatically. His voice was deep and menacing:

"Kazuki Tanaka! Your existence is a mistake! Prepare to perish!"

I raised a shaky hand. "Uh… can I get a second opinion on that?"

The guy threw a knife at my face.

Luckily, my incredible battle instincts (read: blind panic) kicked in, and I ducked. The knife embedded itself into a training dummy behind me.

Ryuu, standing beside Lilith, facepalmed. "Of course. Another person trying to kill him."

Lilith, meanwhile, was completely unfazed. "Ah, an assassin! Finally, some action."

SOME ACTION?! I'M ABOUT TO BE MURDERED.

Kazuki vs. The Assassin

The assassin charged at me. His hands glowed with dark energy, and I had about two seconds to react.

I did what any trained warrior would do.

I grabbed my trusty mop.

Lilith gasped. "Ah! His signature weapon!"

Ryuu groaned. "No. Stop encouraging him."

The assassin lunged—

I swung wildly

And accidentally hit him in the kneecap.

There was a horrible cracking sound. The assassin collapsed to the ground, clutching his knee.

"AAAAAAAH! MY LEG! WHAT THE HELL?!"

I blinked. "Wait… did I win?"

Lilith clapped. "Amazing! A precise strike to the weak point!"

Ryuu looked absolutely done. "He got lucky. Again."

The assassin twitched on the ground, groaning in pain. "I… I didn't expect… the mop…"

Neither did I, dude. Neither did I.

Interrogation Time

After dragging the injured assassin inside, we tied him to a chair in Lilith's grand hall.

Lilith leaned in, smiling sweetly. "Alright, tell us who sent you!"

The assassin just glared at us. "I'll never talk."

Lilith turned to Vorthrak. "Bring the torture instruments."

"WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!" The assassin's eyes widened in terror. "I'll talk, I'll talk!"

Wow. That was fast.

He took a deep breath. "I was hired by… the Human Kingdom."

I frowned. "The Human Kingdom? But I'm human! Why would they want me dead?"

Ryuu scoffed. "Because you're not supposed to be the hero."

Lilith crossed her arms. "They must have realized their real hero was a disappointment and sent an assassin to take out my fiancé instead."

"STOP CALLING ME THAT."

The assassin smirked. "Doesn't matter. More assassins will come. You won't survive long, 'Great Hero.'"

A chill ran down my spine. Oh no. More assassins?

Lilith grinned. "Well then, I guess we'll just have to train Kazuki even harder."

Ryuu sighed. "Or we could just TELL THEM HE'S NOT THE HERO."

Lilith ignored him. "Vorthrak! Prepare the special training regimen!"

Vorthrak nodded. "Yes, my lady."

I had a bad feeling about this.

A New Nightmare Begins

The next morning, I found myself back in the training grounds. But this time, things were worse.

Instead of regular training dummies, they had set up moving, fire-breathing, sword-swinging demon dummies.

Vorthrak handed me my mop. "Dodge or die."

I gulped. "Wait, WHAT?!"

Lilith smiled. "Good luck, my love!"

Ryuu sighed. "He's going to die."

And then the dummies attacked.