Hero Training (or How to Die in 10 Seconds)

After my totally strategic victory over General Vorthrak (which definitely had nothing to do with throwing food at his face), I had hoped for some well-earned relaxation.

Maybe a soft bed, some good food that doesn't move on my plate, and a day without someone trying to kill me.

Yeah. No chance.

Lilith's Brilliant Idea

"So, Kazuki," Lilith said the next morning, smiling sweetly at me over breakfast. "Now that you're officially my fiancé and the 'Great Hero,' we should start your training."

I nearly choked on my demonic toast. "My what?"

She tilted her head. "Training! You need to get stronger if you're going to live up to your reputation."

I swallowed hard. "Can't we just… pretend I'm already strong? Like, really, REALLY pretend?"

Lilith sighed, shaking her head. "No, no, no. You're incredibly powerful already, of course, but it would be unfair if we didn't at least give you some basic skills."

That sounded suspiciously like she was saying I suck, but in a polite way.

Ryuu, who was sharpening his sword nearby, scoffed. "Finally, something sensible. Maybe he'll stop winning fights by accident."

I glared at him. "I'll have you know that every one of my victories was completely intentional."

"…You tripped and knocked out a demon general with a piece of meat."

I crossed my arms. "Yes. Strategically."

Welcome to Hell (Literally)

And that's how I found myself dragged into the castle's royal training grounds, which looked less like a place to work out and more like a battlefield where dreams go to die.

"Alright!" Lilith clapped her hands. "To help you become a true warrior, I've called upon our best instructors!"

I turned my head and immediately regretted it.

Standing in front of me were three of the most terrifying demons I had ever seen.

A seven-foot-tall minotaur with an axe the size of a tree.A ghostly assassin covered in shadows, floating like a bad omen.A tiny, elderly goblin… who looked the most dangerous of them all.

The minotaur snorted smoke from his nostrils. The assassin vanished and reappeared behind me in a blink. The goblin cracked his knuckles and muttered, "I'm gonna enjoy this."

I gulped. "Uh… is there a training option where I don't die?"

Lilith beamed. "Nope! Have fun!"

I did not have fun.

The Pain Begins

Hour 1: The minotaur had me try to lift his axe. I managed to raise it two inches before it fell on my foot. Ow.

Hour 2: The assassin taught me how to dodge. Except his method of training was throwing knives at me while I screamed and ran in circles.

Hour 3: The goblin just straight-up punched me in the stomach and said, "Lesson one: Don't get punched."

I was dying.

Kazuki vs. The Mop (Rematch)

At some point, Lilith must have realized I wasn't built for this, because she stepped in and said, "Kazuki, why don't you try fighting with a weapon you're comfortable with?"

And that's how I ended up standing in front of a training dummy, wielding my trusty mop.

Ryuu groaned. "This is pathetic."

Lilith ignored him. "Alright! Show me what you can do!"

I took a deep breath, gripping the mop like a sword.

Then I swung—

And accidentally smacked myself in the face with the handle.

There was a long, painful silence.

Then Lilith clapped her hands. "Excellent! A distraction technique! You're a natural!"

Ryuu buried his face in his hands. "I can't take this anymore."

An Unexpected Success

After a few less humiliating attempts, I actually started getting the hang of it. The mop was light, fast, and—if I swung it right—surprisingly painful.

Vorthrak, who had been silently observing until now, nodded approvingly. "Your style is… unique."

Lilith smiled. "See? He's learning!"

Even Ryuu had to admit, "Okay, maybe he's not a total lost cause."

I wiped the sweat from my forehead. "Alright, I think I'm done for the day—"

BOOM!

Suddenly, a massive explosion rocked the castle.

Oh, great. What now?

Lilith's expression darkened. "Something's wrong."

Vorthrak stepped forward. "An intruder… in the Demon Castle?"

A shadow loomed at the entrance to the training ground. A tall, hooded figure stepped forward, glowing with dark energy.

And then—

They pointed directly at me.

"HERO! YOUR TIME HAS COME!"

I blinked. "Wait, mine?!"