Dinner with Demons (And Other Horrors)

After my totally intentional victory in the duel, I thought I'd get some peace. Maybe a chance to not be brutally attacked every five minutes.

Nope.

Instead, I was now the guest of honor at a royal banquet in the Demon Castle.

Translation: More opportunities to humiliate myself.

Welcome to the Dinner from Hell

The grand dining hall was packed with nobles, generals, and demonic aristocrats from all corners of the kingdom. Everyone was dressed elegantly—flowing dark robes, intricate jewelry, and an overwhelming amount of horns.

And me? I was sitting awkwardly at the head of the table, stuck between Lilith and Ryuu, who was still fuming from his "defeat."

"Eat up, dear," Lilith said, placing some mysterious glowing meat on my plate.

I gulped. "…What exactly is this?"

"One of our royal delicacies! Roasted Shadow Serpent with Nightmare Sauce."

That name contained too many red flags.

I cautiously poked it with my fork. The meat twitched.

Oh hell no.

Ryuu, the Mood Killer

While I debated whether eating this would kill me instantly or just give me permanent nightmares, Ryuu was sulking.

"This is ridiculous," he muttered, crossing his arms. "I should be the one being celebrated, not some store clerk with a mop."

Lilith took a sip of wine and smiled. "You're just upset because Kazuki is clearly the superior hero."

Ryuu choked. "Superior?! He won by accident!"

"By design," she corrected. "Kazuki's combat style is simply beyond your comprehension."

I nearly spit out my drink. WHAT COMBAT STYLE?!

Ryuu's eye twitched violently. "I swear, one day I'm going to—"

Before he could finish, a loud BOOM echoed through the hall.

The doors swung open, and a massive figure stepped in.

Enter: The Scariest Demon Yet

The room fell silent. Every demon noble stopped eating and turned toward the entrance.

A towering, armored demon general with burning crimson eyes walked in, his heavy boots shaking the floor.

"SO. THIS IS THE GREAT HERO."

Oh no. I didn't like that tone.

Lilith sighed. "Ah, great. Here we go."

I swallowed hard. "Uh… who is this guy?"

"The strongest warrior of the Demon Kingdom," Lilith said. "General Vorthrak the Bloodcrusher."

…That name did not sound promising.

Vorthrak glared at me, his enormous greatsword strapped to his back. "I have served the Demon King for centuries. And yet, now I must bow before a human?"

I gave a weak chuckle. "Well… technically, you don't have to bow…"

His eyes burned brighter. "THEN FIGHT ME."

Lilith groaned. "Ugh, again? Can't we just eat in peace for once?"

Ryuu, of course, looked way too happy about this. "Yes! Please! Kick his ass!"

I shot him a glare. Whose side are you even on?!

The Duel (That I Definitely Didn't Sign Up For)

Before I knew it, we were in the middle of the banquet hall, with every demon watching way too eagerly.

Vorthrak cracked his knuckles. "Come, 'Great Hero.' Show me your strength."

I nervously raised my mop. "Listen, man, I really don't think—"

BOOM!

He charged at me like a wrecking ball.

I panicked and did the only thing I could:

I threw my plate of food at his face.

The glowing snake-meat hit him square in the forehead.

Vorthrak staggered. He blinked. Then—

THUMP.

He collapsed unconscious on the floor.

Silence.

Then—

ROARING CHEERS.

"THE HERO HAS DEFEATED GENERAL VORTHRAK WITH A SINGLE ATTACK!"

Lilith gasped. "Kazuki, you're amazing!"

Ryuu's face was frozen in pure disbelief.

Meanwhile, I just stood there, holding my empty plate, wondering how the hell I just won a fight with dinner.

Aftermath: Am I a Genius or Just Stupidly Lucky?

A few minutes later, Vorthrak woke up, sat up slowly, and BOWED TO ME.

"I have seen your power firsthand," he rumbled. "I shall serve you loyally, my lord."

…Excuse me, WHAT?!

Lilith clapped her hands. "Excellent! Now Kazuki has an elite general at his command."

Ryuu slammed his forehead against the table. "I hate this. I hate everything about this."

I, meanwhile, was still trying to process how dodging, tripping, and throwing food had somehow made me the most respected 'hero' in the Demon Kingdom.