Twin Flames

Three days. That's how long I promised Lucian I wouldn't run. That I'd do nothing but rest and heal.

Three days is nothing when you're with someone who cares.

Before I know it, I'm opening my eyes on the third day, knowing that even though my leg isn't as painful as it was before, it's nowhere near strong enough to support me yet.

But that isn't what has me so resistant to the idea of leaving. Lucian's kiss is. How can I leave after he gave me a kiss that I never believed I'd ever have? It feels too much like I'm running away from him after he pushed his alpha for me to stay.

Leaving feels wrong, but staying doesn't feel right either.

Not with the way Orion is, and not with the threat of Kieran or, even worse, my father finding me here. I can't stay. I know I can't.

The moment we locked eyes with each other at the yearly Phoenix Alpha Hunt, I felt my wolf's acceptance of Kieran because he isn't just my fated mate but hers as well. Real wolves mate for life, and it's something we shifters have in common with our natural cousins.

My father didn't mate again after my mother died. Kael, who did most of my raising, told me he threw himself into strengthening and growing the pack. But he could have. That's the only time a shifter's wolf side would accept a new mate, if their own had died. So, although my feelings for and about Kieran have changed, I have no idea whether Nova's have.

It's not like I hung around after I discovered them having sex together in the lake. The only thought in my head was to get far, far away.

Every day there's another reason why staying is impossible, and this is the latest one to hit home. If I shift, what will happen? The worst thing is I have no idea how my wolf will react until I do.

Will she attack Lucian because she's loyal to Kieran, or does she feel the same way about Lucian as I do?

And which way is that, Cassia?

"Cassia?"

I'm ashamed to say I jumped in response to Lucian's sudden knock at the door because his timing was just… terrible.

"I'm awake; you can come in," I call out.

Lucian pushes the door open and sticks his head in as I'm struggling to sit up. "Can we talk?"

"Sure," I say, pasting a smile on my face as I lean my back against the headboard, forcing my mind away from the memory of our kiss the day before.

As usual, Lucian goes first to the window to draw the curtains back and lift the blinds, revealing a clear blue sky and fluffy white clouds that tell me today is going to be just as beautiful as it has been since I arrived.

"Do you ever have bad weather here?" I ask, curious, as Lucian crosses over to me in his black briefs, white t-shirt, and sleep-tousled hair, signs he woke not long before I did. He perches on the edge of my bed.

"We do, but it's rare. Why? Is the weather tempting you to stay?"

I fall silent at the teasing note in his voice, not really sure what the right response is. Or even if there is one. Instead, it feels like I'm just waiting for him to kick me out. I thought you never intended on staying, anyway?

"How's your leg?" Lucian asks when it becomes clear I'm not going to speak.

I shrug. "Not too bad, I guess."

"You think you can walk on it yet?" The confirmation that I'm right, that Lucian is working up to kicking me out, is unexpectedly painful.

"Maybe." For a long moment, he says nothing, just studies me as if he's trying to make his mind up about something. Finally, he nods.

I tense, but then immediately force myself to relax. Just act casual, as if you were about to tell him you were going to leave, but he beat you to it.

"It's a full moon tonight," Lucian says instead, surprising the hell out of me. My attempt at acting casual goes right out of the window. "Huh?"

His lips curve in a faint smile. "Full moons here are always beautiful. How about a run tonight?"

"A run? I don't know. I mean, I'm not pack and…" My voice trails off in the face of Lucian's smile. "What?"

He shakes his head. "Nothing. Well, not nothing. This run isn't going to be with anyone else, just you and me."

"I don't know if that's a good idea," I say. Then I immediately fall silent because I was not sure how to tell him that my wolf might attack him because he kissed me. Although I kissed him back, it's not like she can attack me.

"Probably not," he concedes with a soberness in his eyes that makes me wonder if the thought hasn't just occurred to him. While I'm sure he could defend himself against me just fine, I'd rather he didn't have to. "But I thought shifting might help your ankle to heal the rest of the way."

I force another smile I don't feel, remembering too late that Lucian can always tell my real smiles from my false.

"Right."

"You don't sound pleased."

Although it's a struggle holding on to a smile that isn't fooling anyone, I try until I can't anymore. "I'm surprised, I guess. Since you were pushing for me to stay, and Minerva was…"

My words trail off when he wipes all expression from his face. It isn't like Lucian at all, at least not from what I've seen of him in the short time I've known him. I've grown used to a smile creasing his eyes and curving his lips, not a blank mask hiding emotion from me.

"What is it?" He pauses for a few seconds. "You think this is me trying to get rid of you?"

I don't respond.

"Cassia?"

"Why else would you want me to shift so I can heal faster, if not to get me to leave?"

Lucian reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, reminding me that I just woke up so my hair is probably crazy right now. I lift a hand to smooth it down, but he catches my hand and holds it in his larger, warm one.

"Because I thought it's what you wanted."

I forget about my attempt to do something about my crazy hair. "But not what you wanted?"

Is Lucian real or just something I dreamed up?

"No, Cassia. It's not what I want." Lucian's voice is soft, and his dark eyes warm the longer he gazes at me.

"You kissed me," I murmur.

He nods slowly. "I did."

"But you stopped. You said it wasn't a good idea. Is that what this is about?" I ask, my mind going back to our kiss in the garden and the pang of disappointment that struck when he ended it more suddenly than I was expecting.

"I stopped because it was leading somewhere that you're not ready for it to lead. I know it isn't what you want."

I want to tell him that he's wrong, that I know what I would have wanted to happen. "What do you want?" I whisper, my eyes going to his mouth.

Lucian slides his hand under my hair, his fingers hot against my nape. He leans close. "You know what I want Cassia," he murmurs against my lips, and then he kisses me.

It's a softer, lighter kiss than the increasingly deep one we shared in the garden. But far too soon, Lucian breaks the kiss and pulls away. "So, what do you say?"

I blink up at him. "About what?"

The grin that spreads across his face is so bright, so contagious, that it's impossible not to smile back.

"About the run. Tonight. How about it?"

My eyes keep being drawn to his mouth, and it's a battle I lose over and over. I'm desperate for him to kiss me again, even though I know I shouldn't want it because none of the things keeping us apart have gone away.

This run might not be a bad idea. Maybe it'll force both of us to confront the fact that we can't be together.

Maybe my wolf attacking his will pull me out of this fantasy that has no future before I get sucked in too deep.

I lift my gaze from his lips, where it has once again settled, and find his eyes are burning, triggering my need for something more than a kiss.

He wants me.

I can see it in his eyes, and I want him.

But neither of us belongs to each other. The soonerrealiselize that, the better.

"Okay," I say quietly, "Tonight we'll go for a run."