I Don’t Want To Miss a Thing

All day I can think of nothing but the run.

I'm nearly bubbling over with excitement at the thought of running when I haven't in so long.

At the same time, I'm struggling to bottle my rising anxiety about what will happen. No matter what, things will change between me and Lucian tonight. There will be no going back to chatty breakfasts with each other or kisses in the garden. I just know it.

I feel the change in the air, following me everywhere. Concentrating on my book is impossible. I barely even see Lucian gardening as I sit on the lounger, even though he's right in front of me.

Lunch is quieter than breakfast, and dinner is even worse. That's when I know Lucian is feeling the rising tension, just as I am.

Finally, when it's dark out, Lucian quietly asks if I'm ready to go out and in a low voice, I tell him I am when I'm not.

Outside, I'm so anxious that even though the sky is a rich inky black, and the moon is a beautiful sphere overhead, I'm too tense to appreciate it. I'm so afraid of what might happen, that in a small clearing in the forest behind Lucian's house, I just stand there, resting most of my weight on my uninjured left leg as I hold on to a tree for support.

"Cassia?" Lucian calls out from a few feet away.

I told him I wanted to be alone to shift, and although nakedness for us shifters is nothing, he didn't comment on my strange need for privacy before he left. That was nearly twenty minutes ago now. And it appears he hasn't shifted either.

"Yeah," I call back.

"You're still human."

My lips twitch with amusement. "Yeah. I guess that means you are too."

Lucian barks out a laugh at my response and hearing it makes me laugh, which breaks a little of the tension between us. But all too soon our shared laughter dies out and we fall silent.

"Lucian?"

"Yes, Cassia."

I open my mouth to ask him to reassure me that things won't change between us, that he will still look at me with a warmth and a heat in his eyes that means he still wants me. That our shifting won't change anything. That even if my wolf rejects him, his human side won't reject me the way Kieran did.

"Cassia?"

The silence extends as I struggle to find the words to capture all the fear, all the doubts, and the anxieties that plague my thoughts.

I stare blankly at the tree in front of me, working to suppress my long-buried pain which has chosen the worst possible time to rise to the surface.

"Nothing. It doesn't matter," I say, then I reach for the hem of my shirt, ready to ease it over my head.

"Cassia."

I spin around and nearly fall when I lose my balance at Lucian's sudden appearance. He reaches out and straightens me, but his hands don't leave my bare arms. He stands in front of me, still wearing his blue jeans, white t-shirt, and sneakers that he was wearing before, just as I'm still in sweats, bare feet, and my hair in a braid running down my back.

As we stare at each other in the darkness, I feel something in me shift and come to life. Something I've never felt before.

I reach out to touch Lucian because I have to. The moment I curve my hand over his jaw, his eyes flutter shut, and he leans into my touch as if he craves it.

"Lucian?" My voice catches.

At the sound, his eyes open. I don't know what he sees as his gaze sweeps over my face, and I don't know why I called him, but he seems to.

He steps closer and lowers his head to press his lips against mine. This time it's my eyes shuttering as he kisses me with increasing pressure. He slides his hands down my bare arms and curves them around my waist, drawing my body flush against his.

The first press of his chest against my breasts has me parting my lips to suck in a breath. I'm not expecting his tongue to stroke along the seam of my lips and steal into my mouth. But when he brushes his tongue against mine, I can't stop my low moan at how good it feels.

Lucian's hands tighten around me, holding me so close I feel the hard press of him nudging against my lower belly.

I put my hands against his chest, and I press. He lifts his head immediately and studies me with naked concern lighting his eyes. "Lucian?" I whisper once I've re-learned how to breathe.

"Yes, Cassia." His voice comes out just as husky as mine.

"I don't want to go running."

His eyes darken. "Neither do I."

"And I don't want to go inside either," I say. "I want to stay out here with you."

I try to find the words to tell him that out here feels like we're in our own world. That it feels like nothing can hurt us amid the gentle rustling leaves above and around us, and the soothing whispers of the forest settling down to sleep.

Or maybe it's just Lucian that makes me feel this safe, this protected.

Maybe I'd feel just the same anywhere as long as he was with me.

Lucian's lips curve in a faint smile as if he can see what I'm trying to say, but can't work out how to. He doesn't answer with words. He doesn't need to. The heat in his eyes tells me everything I need to know.

When he lowers his head again, I slide my hands up his back and over his shoulders, holding on tight as he lowers us to the ground. He does it so smoothly that I don't feel even the faintest twinge on my ankle before I'm lying on the soft earth with Lucian braced over me.

My smile of happiness has him breaking our kiss to peer down at me. "What is it?" he murmurs.

"Nothing," I say, shaking my head. "Just you being you."

Before he can ask me what I mean, I press my fingers into his shoulders to bring him back down to me. He doesn't resist me, and soon his lips are on mine again as he strokes his hands along my sides and hips.

With each passing minute, my need for Lucian grows until I'm shifting restlessly beneath him as he deepens the kiss. I slip my hands under his shirt and run my fingers over every bit of skin I can.

But when it doesn't seem enough, I groan in frustration against his lips.

As if he were only waiting for that sound, that sign I was ready for more, he eases his body to one side, breaking our kiss.

I feel his hands skimming down over my breasts, making me sigh. Even with closed eyes, I feel the heat of his gaze sweeping over my face. When I open them, the sight of his need for me, one he doesn't try to hide, leaves me wanting him even more than I ever thought was possible.

His hands go to the hem of my t-shirt. When I do nothing to stop him, he eases the material over my head, leaving me in sweatpants and nothing else.

Still without taking his eyes off mine, his fingers grip my sweatpants and he eases the material down my legs.

I lay still, conscious I'm not even breathing as I watch him undress me.

This time I won't have my eyes slammed shut or fixed on the wall. This time I don't want to miss a single thing.

Lucian takes his eyes off mine long enough to slide my injured ankle out without the fabric catching, and I soften at the care he takes to avoid hurting me.

When he lifts his gaze to my naked body, I go back to holding my breath.