CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER FIVE - Bonding Experience

On their return trip to the gates of Odes, Cody's mail shirt staged a concert, jingling and clinking and rattling and making just about every other annoying noise its godforsaken programming permitted it to make. He mentally lashed himself for not testing mail enough during alpha, because he was certain that the stuff couldn't be even half as loud in real life as it was in the game.

To add to the misery, it was exceedingly uncomfortable. He had always hated wearing suits, but mail somehow felt even more claustrophobic, like a thousand tiny rings were working together to strangle him.

"Why's it so fucking loud?" Eddy asked, looking very frustrated by the noise.

"That's stealth out the window," Greg said.

"You sound like a box of nails being shaken," Sweaty said.

He tried to ignore their remarks, plotting out the route he wanted to take through the warrior skill tree. His main goal was to become a tank, so he needed skills that both lured the enemy to him and kept him from dying when they started swinging, kicking, or chomping at his head. For attribute points, that looked simple enough: lots of vigor, plenty of might, and a healthy serving of breath. He'd spent those points before they even left the marketplace.

[Character Attributes

:: Might - 10

:: Agility - 0

:: Intellect - 0

:: Vigor - 10

:: Breath - 10

:: Spirit - 0]

A nice, even spread. For the next few levels, he'd dump points into vigor. There was an easter egg deep in the Everwoods that he planned on picking up, and it would require forty points of it.

They were just a few turns from the gates by the time he chose the skills he wanted to sink his class points into.

[War Cry (2/5) - Release a loud cry, drawing nearby enemies to you.

LEVEL 1: costs 25 SP / gives 10 points of aggro to 3 enemies within a 15 ft. radius

LEVEL 2: costs 40 SP / gives 20 points of aggro to 4 enemies within a 25 ft. radius]

[Taunt (2/5) - Taunt a single enemy, drawing it to you.

LEVEL 1: costs 25 SP / gives 10 points of aggro to all enemies within a 15 ft. radius

LEVEL 2: costs 40 SP / gives 20 points of aggro to all enemies within a 25 ft. radius]

[Wind Slash (1/10) - Sling a wide, invisible projectile from a Sword type weapon.

LEVEL 1: costs 35 SP / projectile is 5 ft. wide, travels 8 ft, and deals (base attack damage x 1.4) damage]

[Tortoise (1/5) - Increase your Armor Value while remaining stationary.

LEVEL 1: increases AV by 10%]

Cody explained his new skills to the party and described the strategy that would best accompany it. That is, letting him get whaled on by whatever monster they were fighting so they could pound away at it. It almost sounded suicidal when he said it aloud.

"Everyone ready?" he asked as they came into the opening before the gates.

He was met with some affirmative, yet weary responses. They still hadn't gotten used to the fatigue that accompanied stamina depletion, so they were in a pretty miserable state. It was fortunate that his stamina was double theirs, else he'd be similarly exhausted.

The opening was even more crowded than they had left it, filled with what must have been thousands of players all gathered near the gates. It wasn't unalike a rally one might see on television — the sort that left a person dumbfounded by the sheer quantity of humans in one area. Cody didn't want to imagine how many hundreds had already headed into the forest in his absence.

Players hollered at them as they pushed their way through the crowd, throwing out questions that blended with one another, becoming nothing but unintelligible noise. Some even tried to block them, but players could easily be brushed out of the way in non-PvP zones.

When they broke through to the other side, they saw a few dozen players already advancing down the dirt road leading from Odes. All of them had weapons, but it was still a pretty discomforting sight for Cody. He knew that most of them wouldn't be returning — more than likely those who were stupid enough to venture out alone.

Wong and Arty could be seen a little ways down the gateway, speaking with some of the players.

"They've managed to stop almost everyone from leaving the city," Sax said. "Two young men holding back the masses — it's an inspiring sight, really."

"Please don't call anything Wong does inspiring," Misty said.

Cody led his party down the gateway and joined his two friends, both of which looked very relieved to see him.

"You're back," Arty said with a smile so genuine that Cody couldn't help but return it.

"Thanks for holding down the fort, guys. I'll pay you back for this one day."

Wong waved him off. "Nah, don't worry about it, dude. I'm just hoping you can shut these guys up — my virtual ears are ringing."

Cody faced the crowd and held his hands up. Surprisingly, they got the message, quieting down in a matter of seconds. Maybe it was the authority his username lent him, or maybe it was his sheer alpha-male energy — either way, they seemed to be in a listening mood now.

"So cool," Arty whispered.

"Like a very poorly dressed emperor," Sweaty agreed.

"I'm assuming most of you know what's going on by now." He yelled the words as loudly as he could manage, but he knew that only a fraction of the players would hear him. The crowd was simply too big to reach all at once.

"If you die in the game, you die in real life. That's why I need all of you to stay in Odes — to stay in the city for a few days. As soon as I reach level ten, I'll be able to start a guild, and we'll get things organized. But for now, please stay safe. The people who are walking down — " he pointed to the dirt path — "that path will very likely die. They will not respawn. And if too many of you follow them, we'll end up not having enough people to clear the game."

"Oh, do mention the quests and skills this time," Sax said, sounding just a little impatient.

"You can still level up in the city," Cody continued. "You can do quests, learn skills, buy property, start businesses — there's tons of stuff to keep you occupied. All I'm asking is that you wait until we get things structured before you start playing hero. The people who want to go home need you."

It was hard to visually poll a crowd of ten thousand plus, but Cody decided that they seemed sympathetic, chiefly just to give himself some peace of mind. They took up whispering again, then a bunch of them began shouting questions when they realized he was done talking, but he ignored them.

"I already added you two as friends," Cody said, turning back to Wong and Arty. "If you need help or have any questions, just PM me. We'll be back to sell loot and upgrade our gear, so expect to see us again soon. Thank you both again."

"Not a problem, Mr. Hales," Arty chirped.

"You can count on us," Wong said.

"You'll need to sleep eventually. There's an inn just down that street, has a huge a sign and a veranda — you can't miss it. It'll only cost you ten talons to room there for a night."

"We have to sleep?" Melk seemed very confused.

"Of course you do. Being in VR doesn't give your brain superpowers. There's no way around sleep."

"Except coffee," Sax added.

"Except coffee," Cody agreed. "Alright, guys, go accept the quest from that guard over there, and we'll get moving."

Sax and Misty issued their own farewells to their friends, then the party accepted the woodling quest and set off down the road. Blissfully, not a single player followed them out. The sun was still high on the horizon, but it would set in just a few hours. Grinding in the dark was unavoidable if they wanted to get a guild formed in the next few days, but getting some practice in under daylight was a good idea.

What should have been a grim and frightening death march was transformed into a pleasant, wonder-filled stroll. His new friends were captivated — reduced to gawking morons, to be more accurate, by the sight of the Everwoods' towering trees and rich flora.

"So pretty!" Misty all but squealed, running up to a gathering of multicolored flowers. She broke one off and delicately placed it in her hair.

"How tall are these trees?" Greg stared up at the distant, dark green leaves of one of them, sizing it up.

Cody decided to humor them for a moment. "Six hundred feet, give or take. The ones in the Primordial Forest make these look like saplings, though. And then the Elder Tree makes those ones look like saplings."

"Insects." Sax knelt upon the lush grass, squinting at a patch of it. "Are these . . . simulated?"

"Everything's simulated here, Sax. But if you're asking if they're living, the answer's kinda. They've got some rudimentary goals shoved in their ones and zeros just like the squirrels and birds and other animals you'll see, and they react to stimuli like any insect you'd find in the real world."

"It seems impossible," Sweaty said. "A couple years ago, computers were struggling to handle the latest Elder Scrolls game. Now we've got VRMMORPGs with goal-oriented ants?"

"I think I'm more impressed with the physics," Eddy said, watching Misty as she jumped up and down in a very girlish show of delight.

Well, watching a part of her, at least.

"You're right to be amazed. The hardware eludes even me, and I built this game around it. Somehow the companies I collaborated with managed to get a century ahead of their competitors in less than half a decade." Cody eyed the clock in his menu. "We need to move. The more grinding we can get in before nighttime, the better."

They kept on down the main road for a little longer before heading down one of the twisty paths. Cody gave one last glance to the other players who could be seen in the distance, dumbly walking to their own demise. It might have been cruel, but he didn't bother to warn them about going down the road. If they were the listening sort, they would've stayed inside the city.

"Where's the main road lead?" Sweaty asked.

"Aves, capital city of the first world."

"Odes isn't the capital city?" Greg asked, looking properly astonished. "But it's huge."

"And Aves is huger. About twice as big, in fact."

"Holy fuck. It took us a half hour just to run halfway across it, though." Eddy tugged on his shirt. "And we're video game characters! Why'd you make it so damn big?"

"Wait until you see Igobi on world three. Four hours on horseback will only get you halfway across that place."

Misty's eyes lit up. "There's horses?"

"Oh, great — horse girl alert," Sweaty said.

"Quiet," Cody said before she could retort. "Monsters can hear. We keep it to a whisper or message in party chat from here on out."

The path winded through the Everwoods for a few hundred yards before it led to something interesting. It was a woodling camp, similar to the one that Cody had seen just a few hours ago, but significantly larger. He counted three dozen of the little devils mucking about, and there were likely more hidden behind their tents and the barrels and crates they were so fond of keeping around.

As a level five, he could have let out a battle cry and slaughtered the lot of them in a minute. He figured that would hardly have benefited the party, though, so he refrained. They needed experience. So did he.

He pulled up the chat menu.

[ADMIN_UberCody: u guys up for this?

SweatyBowls: hell yeah

Godmelk: lets do it

BigEddy: fuckin right

MistyEX: yes horses

GregHamster5: im game

Sax0bonez: Aren't there too many of them?]

The whole party gave Sax a collective evil eye, and after he looked sufficiently shameful, they all turned back to the chat menu.

[SweatyBowls: no more from u capn buzzkill

MistyEX: whats the plan

GregHamster5: pincer move

BigEddy: a+

Sax0bonez: Good idea.

SweatyBowls: genius level iq

Godmelk: pincer like crab?? what

GregHamster5: god damit you norweigan fuck

SweatyBowls: go on a european server bro

ADMIN_UberCody: he means we split up in two groups and attack them from opposite sides. good idea. sax, misty, melk, sweaty take left. eddy, greg, me take right. ok?]

Everyone nodded. Cody motioned for them to get into position with some cool finger gestures, and the two claws of their pincer movement separated. It was going to be a slaughter even without a strategy, but this sure made for good practice. When they got deeper into the Everwoods, they'd start dealing with greater woodlings, and those guys didn't fool around like these little pseudo-woodlings.

Cody, Eddy, and Greg set themselves up on the right side of the camp, keeping in the thick underbrush to avoid being spotted. His mail was still clanking at a decibel level equivalent to that of a fighter jet, but the woodlings thankfully didn't hear him.

[ADMIN_UberCody: when i shout, mages and ranger start letting loose. warriors intercept woodling and protect. every 1 ready?

MistyEX: yes meow

GregHamster5: ready

Sax0bonez: Yes.

SweatyBowls: lets stomp

BigEddy: lezgo

Godmelk: yea]

Cody cleared his throat then proceeded to let out a battlecry. Unfortunately, battlecrying is a developed skill, and he was far from naturally gifted in the field. What actually left his mouth sounded more like the scream of a very shrill torture victim on one of the lower levels of Hell.

It was very embarrassing, and he was hoping everyone would be too tense to properly remember it.

The party walked from the underbrush, weapons at the ready. The woodlings adopted some very convincing looks of fear on their wrinkly faces, realizing that they were the victims of an ambush. Unfortunately, the fear faded when they realized it was a remarkably unskilled ambush.

Sax was the first one to make a move, thrusting his staff forward and launching a glittery missile that punched a hole through an unsuspecting crate. Greg was next, and his missile was somehow even less effective, flying right beside Misty's head in what was almost the first instance of friendly fire on the server. Eddy was the third of them to try out his skills, loosing an arrow that sailed a respectable fifteen feet through the air and punctured a tent.

Cody almost laughed. "Hold your fire until they get closer! Warriors, get ready to defend!"

He saw the fear on Eddy and Greg's faces. Clearly even they had been shocked by their own inefficacy. It probably did a number on their egos, but that hardly seemed like a bad thing.

The woodlings separated and charged at both sides of the party. Cody took a step forward in anticipation, getting ready to dice them up with his new level-five sword and ten points of might. On the other side, Melk and Sweaty seemed ready to do the same.

[The skill [Tortoise] is now in effect.]

"War cry," Cody muttered as the woodlings came near. The game obeyed his command, triggering his ability and releasing a passionate cry from his mouth. It was far better than his earlier one, but he felt it wasn't fair to compare the two.

The woodlings shifted their sights onto him. Eddy and Greg noticed this and some of their confidence was revived. They readied themselves for a second attempt.

It was excruciatingly satisfying, Cody felt, when one performed a clean decapitation. The first woodling that came within sword range of him was the unfortunate catalyst for that sympathy, losing its head to a quick and skilled maneuver of steel. Whether or not the resulting blood geyser was realistic hardly mattered given how rad it was.

The next few woodlings faced similar fates to their headless brother, though not half as clean. One had its torso opened horizontally, one had its arm severed, and another had its head split clean down the middle. Still, their camp was sizeable, and Cody had to move around to avoid getting knifed by the rest of them, abandoning the armor bonus from his tortoise skill.

"Wind slash!" he yelled, syncing his words with a swipe of his sword. That was the trick with skills like wind slash — you had to time your command just right or else they wouldn't even register.

Five woodlings found themselves split in half at the stomach, leaking blood and entrails onto the verdant grass like busted meat pinatas. Even a layman on matters of violence would have to admit: it was totally sweet.

"Fucking right," Eddy yelled. He pulled his bowstring back and loosed another arrow. This time, he actually managed to hit a woodling, nailing it right through its kneecap.

"Holy shit, that was metal!" Greg jabbed his staff forward, sending forth a magic missile that robbed a woodling of its left hand.

Cody pressed on, cutting through the enemy like they were vines in a jungle. Another few well-placed wind slashes condemned four of them to a painful death via bleeding stump legs, three of them to headlessness, and two of them to a short life without masturbation. He yelped when he felt a sharp pinprick on his ankle, then issued out a vicious backhanded slash that carved a trench through a woodling's face.

[588 / 600 HP]

If twelve points of damage hurt that much, Cody felt pretty certain that fifty or a hundred would bring him to his knees. Maybe that was good, though — pain would probably make players think twice about doing anything stupid.

With his group's woodlings having been dealt with, he could lend a hand to the other half of the party. They were on the opposite side of the camp, desperately trying to hold off their attackers. Their strategy seemed to primarily consist of running, almost to the point where it looked as though they were simply fleeing.

In fact, they were fleeing.

Cody joined the fray. With his stamina at a measly twenty-one points and regenerating slower than a legless turtle, he couldn't use his war cry ability again. That meant he was stuck running after the woodlings and cutting them down one at a time.

The party was in a proper panic, running about the campsite and, in Misty's case, even retreating back into the underbrush.

"For Christ's sake, guys — " Cody took the head off a woodling " — quit running! Bring the little bastards to me!"

Sax followed his order, running straight for him then veering off hard when he got within a few feet of Cody. Three woodlings had been after him, but Cody splattered them across their own lawn when they came near him.

"My God," Sax said, breathing heavily for reasons other than low stamina. "What horrid creatures."

"They're level ones."

"So am I!"

Sweaty took down one of the woodlings attacking him, but two others had managed to sneak behind him. They drove their daggers into the back of his legs, drawing a pained scream from him and bringing him to the ground.

Cody swooped in like a guardian angel, taking all of them down before they could finish him off. "Sax, Greg, Eddy — protect Sweaty. I don't think he's feeling very well."

"They stabbed me in my fucking ankles!"

"Well they're dead, so who has it worse? Stop victim blaming."

Fortunately, at least one person was fairing well. Melk may have been bloodied at the legs, but he stood victorious over four woodling corpses. He raised his sword toward Cody and grinned.

"Great job, Melk. Must be that Viking blood in your virtual veins. Keep everyone safe, alright? I'm going after Misty."

Cody opened his map and found her little blip moving through the woods. Thankfully, she wasn't too far away, so he could catch up before the woodlings did something rude to her. It would end up costing him the rest of his stamina, but with almost all of the woodlings dead, that didn't matter.

When he finally caught up to her, he found her running toward him rather than away from him. It struck him as rather odd considering she had just been intent on fleeing from the campsite.

Well, it struck him as odd until he saw the miniature woodling army behind her.

"I'm sorry," she yelled, but it came out all sniffly because she was crying.

Cody sighed. She had accidentally run into another camp. A big one, too, by the look of it — one that he'd have to dish out some slaughter to so they didn't open a Great Value can of whoop-ass on his helpless party members.

"Go back to the camp and tell everyone to stay there!"

She kept running, keeping her wand pressed tightly against her stupidly large chest. "Okay!"

Cody looked down the horde.

"God, I hate this game."