Congratulations! It's a Girl... and a Bloodbath.

The hospital waiting room was pure chaos.

Kai was sitting next to Nami, his normally composed demeanor completely shattered as his wife crushed his hand with terrifying strength. Her contractions were hitting hard, and her face was locked in a mix of rage, pain, and the promise of future murder.

Crimson, ever the supportive best friend, leaned in with a grin. "So, on a scale from

'mild discomfort' to 'you're dead when this is over, how mad do you think she is at you?"

"Shut up." Kai hissed. cweat forming on his brow.

"I'd say she's at a solid 'you're dead twice!"

Valerie chimed in from across the room, watching with amusement.

Meanwhile, the rest of the squad was handling the situation in their usual, unhinged ways.

Kazuki had set up his laptop on a hospital tray and was hacking into the hospital's security feed. "Okay, I just disabled the 'no weapons' rule in the system, so if we have to shoot someone, we technically won't be breaking hospital policy."

Leon, completely unbothered, was leaning against the wall with sunglasses on, flipping through a magazine titled Top 10 Ways to Seduce a Mafia Boss's Wife.

MJ, who had been in the middle of eating a massive sandwich, spoke through a mouthful. "Damn, childbirth looks rough.

Good thing I'll never experience it."

Nami suddenly let out a scream that made everyone freeze.

Kai paled. "Is it time?! Do I need to do something? DO I NEED TO FIGHT SOMEONE?!"

A nurse poked her head in, looking completely unfazed. "No, she's just in active labor. It's gonna take a while."

Crimson clapped a hand on Kai's shoulder.

"Hey, bud. How's it feel knowing your entire life is about to change?"

Kai gave him a look-the kind of look that said, I would murder you if my wife wasn't currently trying to kill me first.

Just then, Nami yanked Kai down by his collar. "You did this to me, Kai. YOU DID THIS TO ME."

Kai swallowed hard. "I-I know and I'm so sorry."

Leon whistled. "Damn, she turned into a final boss real quick."

Meanwhile, Hani-Kai's young son-sat in the corner, completely unfazed. "This is fun. Can I get a little sister AND a puppy?"

Kai let out a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a whimper.

Crimson ruffled Hani's hair. "Kid, you're aiming high, I respect it."

Then, just as the squad was settling into the chaos of childbirth, the actual chaos arrived.

A group of masked men stormed the hallway outside, guns drawn.

"THERE HE IS! KILL KAI AND HIS FAMILY!"

Everyone froze. Then, simultaneously,

Crimson and Kai grinned.

"Oh, hell yeah," Crimson muttered, unzipping a duffel bag and pulling out an alarming amount of weapons.

Kai blinked. "Why do you have that?"

"Because I knew this was gonna happen.

C'mon, it's us."

"Fair."

Valerie sighed, standing up and cracking her knuckles. "Y'know, I was really hoping for a normal day."

Leon adjusted his sunglasses. "Yeah, but when has that ever happened?"

Kazuki was already back on his laptop. "I'm hacking into the hospital's automatic doors.

Let's trap these guys in."

MJ stuffed the rest of her sandwich in her mouth, then grabbed a chair like a makeshift weapon. "Time to send some guys to the ICU."

As gunfire erupted in the hallway, Nami sighed from her hospital bed. "Can you idiots go handle that somewhere else?! I'M BUSY HERE!"

Kai kissed her forehead. "I'll be right back, sweetheart. Just gotta take out the trash."

Crimson grinned, dual-wielding pistols.

"LET'S GOOO!"

The Battle of the Baby Ward

Leon immediately took cover behind a nurse's station and started shooting. "How the hell do they always know where we are?!"

Kazuki, still typing, deadpanned, "Probably because Kai leaves a trail of destruction everywhere we go."

Meanwhile, Crimson was thriving. He sprinted down the hall, dodging bullets like an action hero, flipping over a hospital cart and drop-kicking a hitman in the face. "I'M HAVING SO MUCH FUN."

Kai, moving with lethal precision, took down two men in seconds, then turned to Crimson. "Hey, you wanna do a cool fight sequence?"

"DO I?!"

The two immediately went back-to-back, fighting in perfect sync. At one point, Crimson tossed a guy into the air, and Kai roundhouse kicked him into a medical supply closet.

Valerie shot an enemy in the leg, then looked at Crimson. "You having fun?"

"I AM THE FUN."

MJ swung her chair like a baseball bat, sending a guy crashing into a vending machine. Snacks rained down. She grabbed a bag of chips mid-fight. "Damn, free food."

Then, in the middle of all this chaos, little Hani peeked his head out of the hospital room, completely unbothered.

"Uncle Crimson!"

Crimson turned mid-brawl. "Yeah, buddy?"

Hani pointed at a bad guy. "Can I help?"

Kai immediately stepped in. "Absolutely not _"

Crimson, already picking Hani up, ignored him. "Hell yeah, you can."

Before Kai could object, Crimson lifted Hani up like Simba from The Lion King and aimed him at an incoming hitman.

Hani kicked the guy right in the balls.

The hitman collapsed.

Crimson and Hani high-fived.

Kai groaned. "Crimson, PUT MY SON DOWN."

"Look, he's a natural."

With the last few hitmen defeated, the squad regrouped, panting and victorious.

Nami's voice cut through the aftermath.

"KAI. GET BACK IN HERE. NOW."

Kai ran.

A New Life Begins

The chaos settled. Hours later, as the sun began to rise, the squad sat in the hospital room, exhausted but grinning.

In Kai's arms was a tiny, beautiful baby girl.

"She's perfect," Nami murmured, smiling up at her husband.

Kai, for once, had no words. He just stared at his daughter like she was the most precious thing in the world.

Crimson leaned over, peering at the baby.

"So, what's the little gremlin's name?"

Nami smiled softly. "Asrar."

Crimson lit up. "I HAVE A NIECE."

Kai chuckled. "Yeah. And knowing you, you're gonna be the bad influence uncle."

"I accept that role."

Hani grinned at his little sister. "Can we keep her?"

"Yeah, bud. She's sticking around."

As everyone laughed, Kai turned to Nami, his expression growing serious. "Listen, I... I need to tell you something. I'm a hitman."

Nami just smiled. "I know."

Kai blinked. "What."

"I've known for years, sweetheart."

Kai looked like he had just had an out-of-body experience.

Crimson burst out laughing. "SHE KNEW THIS WHOLE TIME?! BRO, YOU WERE STRESSING OVER NOTHING."

As the squad celebrated the newest addition to their family, Crimson clapped his hands together.

"A'ight, time to start training her to be a badass."

Kai groaned. "Oh god."

And with that, the squad's chaotic family grew a little bigger.