Hani’s First Bar Fight (Technically, It Was a Family Restaurant)

The squad, along with Valerie, Nami, and Hani, decide to have a "peaceful" dinner at a family restaurant. Of course, the fact that these people think they can have a peaceful anything is laughable.

The restaurant is warm and cozy, filled with families and kids running around. There's a ball pit in the corner, a giant animatronic panda that looks mildly terrifying, and a clown making balloon animals. It's the kind of place that should be safe from chaos.

But then again, they exist.

Chaos Before the Meal

The moment they walk in, Crimson sees the claw machine and immediately gets distracted.

"I need that stuffed dragon," he declares, digging into his pocket for change.

Leon rolls his eyes. "Dude, these things are rigged—"

Crimson is already in battle mode, aggressively yanking the joystick while muttering under his breath like he's in a life-or-death mission.

Meanwhile, MJ spots the animatronic panda and hates it on sight. "That thing is creepy."

Hani, however, is fascinated. "I think it's cool!"

MJ narrows his eyes. "I'll keep an eye on it. Just in case."

Nami and Valerie, the only two sane people, are already guiding everyone to their table, while Kai is quietly contemplating whether he should just leave them all here.

Dinner Shenanigans

The waiter comes over, looking slightly terrified at this loud and chaotic group.

Kai orders something reasonable. Nami gets something healthy. Valerie gets a burger.

Then:

• Crimson orders three plates of spaghetti.

• Leon orders a steak, but only if it's rare, then winks at the waiter.

• MJ asks if the restaurant serves "revenge" before settling for a milkshake.

• Kazuki orders an ungodly amount of mozzarella sticks.

• Hani confidently orders the biggest pizza on the menu.

As they wait for food, things get weird.

• Crimson and Hani start playing with the condiments, mixing ketchup and mustard to create "new flavors."

• Leon flirts with Valerie, only for Crimson to throw a piece of bread at him.

• Kazuki and MJ argue over whether the kids' menu coloring pages should be taken seriously.

• The animatronic panda suddenly turns its head toward MJ. He freaks out.

"IT'S ALIVE!" MJ yells, throwing a spoon at it.

The manager glares at them.

"Sir," he says. "Please don't attack the panda."

Hani, still entertained, cheers. "Do it again!"

The Fight Begins

Just as the food arrives, a group of very angry-looking men in suits walk in. The leader has a scar over one eye and looks like someone who got rejected from a mob movie.

They approach the table.

"You," the leader growls, pointing at Crimson.

Crimson pauses, spaghetti hanging from his mouth. "…Me?"

"You took something that belongs to me."

Crimson blinks. "Dude, I don't even know who you are."

The guy slams his fist on the table. "The briefcase. Where is it?"

The squad collectively looks at each other.

Kazuki squints. "What briefcase?"

Leon casually sips his drink. "We steal a lot of stuff. You'll have to be specific."

This does not go over well.

The man signals his goons. "Get them."

Absolute Mayhem

The fight immediately turns the restaurant into a war zone.

• Crimson flips the table for cover, sending spaghetti everywhere.

• Leon dodges a punch and accidentally lands in an entire birthday cake.

• Kazuki dual-wields mozzarella sticks like nunchucks.

• MJ body-slams a guy into the ball pit.

• Kai, the only one actually trying to fight properly, sighs and expertly knocks out two guys in one move.

At one point, Crimson grabs Hani, lifts him up, and grins.

"Hani, ATTACK!"

Hani, laughing, kicks the lead bad guy right in the balls.

The man collapses instantly.

The restaurant goes silent.

Crimson and Hani turn to each other and share the most legendary high-five in history.

Then:

Leon, dusting off cake, shouts, "Alright, BACK TO FIGHTING!"

And chaos resumes.

The Aftermath

By the time the fight ends, the restaurant is destroyed. Tables flipped, food everywhere, the animatronic panda's head is missing (MJ swears it attacked first), and the squad is standing victorious in the middle of it all.

The manager looks like he's going to have a heart attack.

"I—You—GET OUT."

They leave in a hurry, running into the night.

As they walk away, Valerie sighs. "You guys are ridiculous."

Leon smirks. "Yeah, but admit it—you're having fun."

Valerie rolls her eyes. "…Maybe."

Nami pats Kai's arm. "I think that went well."

Kai, covered in someone else's spaghetti, just stares at her.

Hani, still hyped, grins up at Crimson. "Uncle Crimson, that was awesome!"

Crimson ruffles his nephew's hair. "You did good, kid."

Then he pauses.

"…But maybe don't tell your mom about this."

Hani grins. "No promises."

They walk off into the night, another completely normal dinner successfully ruined.