I can't empathize

After walking like this for a while, I finally took Cha Xiaoqing to the abandoned park; The park was abandoned, but it was not dilapidated, and it was never strictly abandoned, and it was only because of a larger park built next to it that it was forgotten by those who were accustomed to liking the new and hating the old.

 We sat down on a bench, I habitually lit a cigarette, and looked out at the sea in the distance, lost my mind...

 "Aftertaste, can I ask you a question?"

 "Huh?"

 "It can be seen that the little girl who just sold flowers is from a very bad family, why don't you want to buy a bouquet of flowers from her? Maybe you buy a bouquet of flowers, and she can buy herself an extra set of stationery or a dress tomorrow. "

 "Maybe it's because I'm a salesman myself... That's why I hate those routines of selling things... Hehe, don't you think I'm indifferent? "

 "I don't think you're cold, I just feel like you have a lot of rebellious things in your heart."

 "Really?"

 I turned my head to look at Cha Xiaoqing, she had already taken off her hat and mask, and just quietly looked at the place I had just seen, she was really beautiful...

 Just when I was a little distracted, she picked up the bouquet of flowers in her hand again, smiled at me and said, "Anyway, thank you for the flowers... It's been a long time since I've received flowers. "

 I smiled with her, and then took another deep puff of the cigarette, and I felt a little unbearable, because I would probably confess my thoughts to her after I smoked this cigarette, and I had to let her move out...

 But at this time, Cha Xiaoqing gently leaned on my shoulder, my heart trembled, I don't know what to do, I just sat motionless, I didn't finish the cigarette I should have smoked, and I didn't say what I should have said.

 "Aftertaste, have you ever loved someone?"

 I was stunned for a moment before I replied, "Yes, I used to talk to a girlfriend, and you used her stuff." "

 "If you love each other, why do you break up?"

 I finally raised my hand and took a puff of my cigarette, then asked, "Why are you talking about this?" "

 "Out of curiosity about you, you can also assume that I'm bored, and the two of you sit here, there must be a topic."

 "I don't want to talk about the past anymore..."

 After a slight pause, I tentatively asked her again, "What about you, you must have had an emotional experience too, right?" "The reason why I ask this is because I have always had such suspicions, I think that the man in her mouth is actually her boyfriend, otherwise, she would not be so blindly trusting.

 But I didn't want to, Cha Xiaoqing shook his head, and then said to me: "In terms of feelings, I am a very strange person, I pay more attention to spiritual feelings, so no matter what kind of man I face, I will feel that it is not so perfect, and over time I will give others a very proud image... In the end, no one dared to chase me. "

 "I don't quite understand what you mean by spiritual feelings."

 "Two people must share weal and hurt and never give up... But sharing hardships is not spoken, it is necessary to experience the darkest moments of life together to arouse such emotions..."

 I didn't seem to understand, and Cha Xiaoqing seemed to have reservations, she was silent for a while, and then said to me with a smile: "Yumi, when this matter passes, I will definitely thank you... Do you have anything in particular that you want... I can ask you to travel, Switzerland is the most beautiful in winter, let's go to Switzerland for a month, okay? "

 I responded to Cha Xiaoqing with a smile and said, "How can I have such a long vacation!" ... When the time comes, you can send me some photos, and I will experience it with you. "

 "You can quit your job and give yourself a long-term look, and in the future, I should be able to help you find a more suitable job."

 In the cold moonlight, I saw Cha Xiaoqing's longing on her face, and I also saw the longing in her heart... Actually, she is not a very complicated woman, she is just depressed by the current environment.

 "Do you think I'm talking big to you? ... I'm only in trouble for the time being, and when I'm done with it, I'll do what I promised you. "

 "That's not what I meant."

 "And what do you mean?"

 I subconsciously rubbed my hands, and finally turned my heart to her, and said to her: "I'm afraid you can't continue to live with me, I have no intention of driving you away... When I just went to buy porridge for you, I met my landlord, and he told me that tomorrow the police station will do a census of the migrant population in our area... I'm not safe here, so you'd better change places... It's best to move tonight. "

 Cha Xiaoqing's face suddenly turned gloomy, and then he said to me in a very questioning tone: "This is just your excuse, right?" ... You are afraid of setting yourself on fire. "

 "It's not an excuse, I'm really thinking about it for you..."

 Cha Xiaoqing looked at me as if she had lost her soul, and after a long, long time, she whispered back to me, "But I don't know where else to go... Aftertaste, you tell me, if you were me, what would you do now? "

 "I'm sorry, I'm not you, I can't empathize."

 "Needless to say... I'm going to move away from you right now. "

 ...

 When we returned to the rental house again, it was already half past twelve in the middle of the night, and I was sitting in the living room, and Cha Xiaoqing was packing up her things.

 I felt bad, but there was no better way, and I didn't even dare to ask her where she was going next...

 I took out another cigarette from the cigarette case, and when I was about to light it, Cha Xiaoqing had already packed her luggage, she didn't look at me, she didn't say much, she just threw the key to the house on the coffee table in front of me.

 I looked up at her: "I will pay you back your 20,000 yuan." "

 "No, I'm afraid we won't have a chance to meet again in the future... This money should be taken as my gratitude to you, you finally took me in for two days. "

 I swallowed subconsciously, and then said to her with difficulty: "This year, I shouldn't move, if you get through this difficulty, you still come here to find me, I must pay you back... Otherwise, my conscience will not be able to pass! "

 Cha Xiaoqing smiled, she didn't say anything more, and then walked out of the room with her duffel bag; But I clearly felt disappointment and helplessness in her smile.

 I just stood at the window and watched her... She stood alone by the flower pond downstairs and did not leave for a long time; I knew she really didn't have anywhere to go...

 However, I can't be soft-hearted, whether it's for her sake or for myself, I can't take her in anymore... I forced myself to turn my head away and stop looking at her.

 I sat back on the couch and smoked a cigarette hard; But I couldn't control myself at all, so I ran to the balcony and looked...

 This time, she's really gone!

 At this moment, my heart also became empty, and I just looked at the place where she had just stood in distraction.