Freak

By the time I got out of the doctor's room, I couldn't see Miho anymore.

I ran out of the clinic, got to the elevators and noticed that they were on the top floors of the building, not moving. 

I ran to the emergency stairs and I heard tap-tap-tap sound of someone running down. 

I ran down the stairs too, without really knowing why I was doing this. 

But the tap-tap-tap was getting further away from me. 

Desperate to catch up, I started to climb down faster, skipping a few steps down as I ran.

And predictably, I fell. 

Ouch. 

As I lay on the cold stone floor of the staircase that thankfully helped me from rolling down non-stop, I heard the tap-tap sound get closer to me. 

Then there was Miho, who hurriedly knelt down next to me and put her hand on my head. 

"Are you alright?"

"No."

My head hurt like hell. I felt like everything was spinning. 

Miho held up a finger in front of my eyes and ordered.

"Follow my finger with your eyes."

Then she moved her finger left and right, slowly, and I did my best to follow it.

"You are fucked. I gotta bring you to hospital."

"Wha… why…?", I managed to speak. 

"You might have a concussion."

Miho then picked me up, swung me around to her back and piggy backed me, running down the stairs. 

As my body pressed against her back, feeling her muscles rub against my breast, I started to cry too. 

"Why… why… why?!!!!"

Miho said nothing and continued her thump thump thump down the stairs. 

"Why did you have to do it?!!! You killed Minji!!!"

"SHUT UP!!!"

"You killed her! You are a monster! A devil! A MURDERER!"

I started to hit her on her back with my fists.

"Stop that! You crazy woman!"

"Monster! Murderer! A freak!"

"DON'T CALL ME A FREAK!"

"FREAK! You are a FREAK!!!"

"Don't fucking call me a FREAK!!!"

"FREAK! FREAK! FREAK!!!"

Then Miho tripped, and I felt the time slow down. Just like that time when I saw the petrol pour out of the plastic container that Miho was holding on top of already burning Minji. The flames flaring, the sound of burning, Minji's screaming piercing my ears and tearing my heart apart.

I saw the emergency lights on the ceiling of the staircase. It came on automatically as it sensed our bodies that flew up. 

I saw the sign of a man heading toward safety drawn in green and white, faint fluorescent light illuminating it. 

My body rotated mid-air. I was no longer on Miho's back, but completely airborne. 

Then it rotated further, and now I was looking at Miho's face whose eyes were wide open. 

Our eyes met for what must have been a fraction of a second but it felt like it was good five seconds or so. 

Within that brief moment, I saw Miho's eyes widen, her pupils dilated. I saw the reflection of myself in those eyes. 

Those were the eyes of a killer. A predator. But I didn't feel that this tigress was about to lunge and bite my throat. Rather, it felt like those were the eyes of a big cat that sensed danger to her cub. The mind behind those eyes was racing. Racing to find ways to save her cub. I saw the eyes of a mother. I remembered a gentle bite on the back of my neck as my mother picked me up with her teeth to stop me from falling off the edge. I remembered things that never happened to me. My mind was racing too.

As the slow-acting gravity inevitably pulled us down inch by inch and we were getting closer to the cold and hard doom, Miho stretched her arms toward me and embraced me. She pulled my body closer to her and wrapped her arms around my back. I felt a tight squeeze, the warmth of her chest as she plunged my face onto her breasts. 

The heartbeat. 

It was beating so fast and loud. I felt the same heartbeat in my chest. Blood rushing through my veins. I felt like there were little men inside my blood vessels sprinting, sprinting from my heart toward the tip of my fingers. 

My face was fully buried in Miho's embrace now. There was nothing to see. Only darkness. 

Is this how it feels to be dead? Absolute blackness with nothing to see, and no sound to be heard?

I felt like I was on a roller coaster that was dropping down from its peak. A straight ticket to hell. 

I'm going to hell, aren't I?

I imagined the hellfire. The eternal fire. 

I saw myself inside the hellfire, as if I was looking at someone else. 

I was dancing, in my beige summer dress. I was smiling and laughing, happy times. 

But I wasn't alone. I was dancing with Miho, wearing her jet-black suit. Clean. Sleek. Deadly. 

Then all the images were gone and time sped up. 

My body, which felt like a feather floating in the air just a moment ago, now felt like a rock, a boulder, an asteroid. 

With a loud thump, I landed on the ground, but fully embraced and cushioned by Miho. 

It took me a few seconds to overcome the shock, although my body didn't particularly hurt. 

I pushed myself out of Miho's embrace and I looked at her, searching for her eyes. 

But they were firmly closed. 

I managed to stand up but I felt like my knees were made of rubber. I had to lean onto the wall to keep myself up. 

I looked down at Miho and she laid on the ground motionless. I saw a pool of blood emerge from below her head. The pool was getting bigger, bigger, and perhaps big enough for me to dive in and swim. Or maybe if I dived in there it would work like a portal and I could emerge out of the other side. Whatever the 'other side' was, maybe Miho would be standing there, laughing. 

Dragging myself along the wall, I reached the metallic door, the exit out of the staircase. The blood from Miho's head spread so far as to reach my feet now. I was leaving crimson footprints.

With all my strength I opened the door, walked through it, and closed it behind me. 

I left Miho's dead body behind. 

Serves her right.