A Rock

I was lost. 

Completely lost. 

I lost track of Miho although she was alive. 

Shouldn't that have been enough for me to know?

I didn't manage to kill her, so my revenge for Minji and the countless people she killed failed. 

But as far as I was concerned. I killed her. 

It is not an easy decision to take someone's life. I might have done it when I wasn't thinking straight and my brain was all hazy, but when I looked down on Miho's motionless body in that staircase I clearly had a choice. I could call for help and save her, or I could leave her there to die. Although it was a spur-of-the-moment decision made in extreme anguish, I clearly made a conscious choice.

I was no longer a person who just wished that someone died. Everybody entertained such a thought at least once in their life. Maybe it was a school bully, or an abusive father, or a bad boss, or even someone from the news that you only read about but enraged you due to the crimes he committed. 

But merely wishing it, fantasizing about it, and releasing your anger through it was one thing. Actually making a choice to do it when you are presented with a real chance, and taking an action - or an inaction - to result in someone's death was something entirely different. I crossed the line that no ordinary person can cross. Although Miho didn't die from my decision, as far as the moral choices are concerned, I was a murderer. 

At the same time, considering what Miho did to Minji, wasn't I right to let such a monster die? Especially considering that this monster could go on to kill more people like that.

And also, now that I've done - or didn't do - what I did - and didn't do - shouldn't I bury this whole thing now and move on?

On top of all these thoughts giving my brain cramps though, I was seething. The anger put the deeper and more important thoughts in my mind to the back of the couch, like some coins that fell behind I know I should get out but was too lazy to move the couch to reach them, so I just leave them be knowing that I can get them out any time. 

My anger stemmed from one thing - the old man lied. 

What I was told at the warden by a nurse was that the patient transfer crew came in yesterday morning and took her away. She returned to consciousness about three days after the day she came in, but she's been drifting in and out of consciousness and her condition had to be further monitored. Then Miho's father turned up with a patient transfer crew and said they were taking her to a private hospital. I used the same lie again that Miho was my sister but our Mom remarried so I didn't know her new father since I lost touch. I probed for details and it became quite clear that it was the old man who claimed to be Miho's father. 

What the hell was that cheesecake thing all about?

As I was walking out of the hospital wrecking my brain trying to figure out what happened, I received a call. It was an unknown number, but I've just left my number at the receptionist who helped me before, asking her to call me if she finds anything. So I picked up the phone as soon as I could. 

"Hello?!"

"Ms. Han."

It was a man's voice on the other hand, but I immediately recognized it as the old man. 

"YOU LIED! Miho is ALIVE!"

"Ms. Han. She's dead. You are chasing a ghost."

"You are lying! She was alive until yesterday morning! YOU took her out of this hospital and came to tell me she was dead!"

"Didn't it occur to you that I took her away from the hospital to have her dead?"

No, it didn't occur to me. 

But my gut feeling told me this was another lie. 

"Where is she?", I asked in the calmest and politest voice I could manage, given the circumstance. 

"She is dead."

"I'd like to bring a flower to the grave. Tell me where she's buried."

"People like us don't get graves."

I was banging myself against a wall. It was no use. Then I got an idea. 

"Fine. I have another request then."

"What is it?"

"I would like to commission a contract."

"I refuse."

"WHY?!!!"

"Please, this is for your safety. This world's isn't for you. For Miho's sake, I wouldn't want anything to happen to you."

My mind was racing. I was clearly out of my mind and I placed everything I had on the line. 

"240 million won. I put 240 million won for the contract."

"That's not a small sum, young lady. Why would you do that?"

"I will talk to you when we meet to discuss the terms."

"Sorry, I can't accept."

"I will give you 15 million won if you'd meet me."

That was the sum Miho left on my table when she left, which was the old man's money after all. This detail wasn't lost to the clever man. 

"She gave it to you?"

"Yes."

"Why did she do that?"

"Because we were lovers."

The old man went dead silent on the other end. I didn't even hear him breathe. 

And I didn't breathe either. 

Those words just came out of my mouth. It wasn't something I cleverly came up with to throw him off track. 

"I will drop by your place tonight. 8 O'clock. Sharp. Be prepared."

Then he hung up. 

For all I knew, he could be coming to kill me. To silence me forever. 

And to be very honest, I wasn't even quite sure what all this could lead me to. 

One thing I was sure though.

When everything is set in stone and in status quo, sometimes you just gotta throw a rock at it and see what breaks.