Chapter 11: Shorting London Gold with Lover's Ashes

Eleanor pours the British banker's ashes into the London gold melting pot when the Thames suddenly flows backwards.The CSA-02's mechanical fingers are inserted into the trading terminal, and a K-line chart of the child's pupils flickers as it is reflected in the exchange's dome: "Mom, he had .021 bitcoins per gram of ashes...the leverage for shorting can be pulled up to 2,140 times right now! "

"Then give the British Empire a taste of quantum entanglement." She ripped open her Victorian skirt supports to reveal the Coordinates of the Bank of England Vaults branded into the small of her back. As the first handful of ashes were scattered into the pool of molten gold, all the traders suddenly fell to the floor in convulsions - their retinas floating with real-time images of CSA-04 fetuses manipulating gold futures in 2140.

"Ma'am, you are suspected of violating the International Precious Metals Trading Act." The scarlet-uniformed London Police Commissioner approached with his gun raised, the barrel engraved with the Masonic triangular-eyed symbol, "Under Queen Victoria's pardon, by handing over the ovaries..."

Eleanor suddenly splashes hot gold liquid onto the ribbon of her police uniform. The molten gold etches the gothic letters "Fuck You" into the royal insignia as she steps on the back of CSA-01 and leaps onto the trading desk, "Do you know why London Gold is also known as Widow's Gold?" She rips open her girdle to reveal the laser ports of her mechanical ovaries, "Because every man who touches it...becomes my shorting chip!"

Suddenly, there is an explosion from the Exchange vaults as CSA-03 hauls out thirty coffins, each filled with the bodies of powerful men with whom Eleanor has had a dewy-eyed affair. "Mom, the purity of their ashes is up to par!" The child pours the corpse powder into the analyzer, and the screen reads: each corpse can be exchanged for 1.5 tons of virtual gold - source: 2140 Federal Reserve Corpse Recycling Program.

The president of the Bank of London rushes into the scene, holding up the bond contract with Eleanor's lipstick: "The eggs you pledged to me ten years ago...now it's time to pay them back with interest!" He presses the pocket watch button and her mechanical ovaries suddenly eject Bitcoin miner parts.

"Want the eggs?" Eleanor grinned as she ripped off the ovarian catheter and shoved the electrified germ cells into the bullion die-casting machine, "Ask my children if they agree first-"

The CSA twins suddenly stormed off. They ripped open the banker's suit, and what was beating in their chests was actually a gold-plated mechanical heart, with every vein connected to the Bank of England's main servers.CSA-02 bit down on the president's throat and slurred, "Mommy says...that London gold and virginity...should both be made into futures contracts! "

When the vault door is cracked with a necromantic code, Eleanor finds her lover's suicide note by the molten gold pool. Written in menstrual blood on the parchment, "By the time you read this line, I will have bought all of your abortion records in the year 2140 - including the fetus with Rothschild blood in it."

Suddenly, CSA-01's mechanical heart gave a piercing chirp. Telegraphs across Europe automatically printed out the horrific announcement that the time loop could be suspended for one second per gram of Eleanor's eggs. The glass dome of the London Stock Exchange exploded, and torrential rain poured in, only for the raindrops to condense in mid-air into the shape of dollar signs.

"Babies, it's time to teach the world real alchemy." Eleanor mixes her lover's ashes with rainwater and pours it over the mechanical hearts of the CSA children. Golden saplings break out of their chests, their branches laden with the fruit of the Womb Rental Agreement.

Three hundred miles away, a clone of Abraham Lincoln is pumping Thames water into a cryopod. Each drop contains a screaming Eleanor embryo, and at the bottom of the river slumbers crusader armor etched with Bitcoin code - a replica of the very medieval artifact she bought on Wall Street the night before she crossed over.