Chapter 52: Prank

Jiraiya's Icha Icha Paradise was said to be an amazing read.

Even Kakashi was obsessed—constantly complaining about running out of chakra because he stayed up too late reading.

He even read it during battles.

That alone showed how wildly popular the book was.

Unfortunately, the Naruto manga never revealed its actual content.

Probably wouldn't have passed censorship.

The more you can't see something, the more you want to see it.

Now that Ren Asakura was here, how could he not take a look?

Might as well compare it to the classics he had read before.

Ren smirked.

"We should appreciate the artistry of literature."

Only those who wear yellow-tinted glasses see everything as yellow.

"We should be noble. Free from vulgar interests."

Ren truly felt he was an honorable man.

And now, the author himself was right here—gathering "inspiration" on the spot.

Ren decided to let him collect all he wanted.

In front of the women's bathhouse window, Jiraiya was perched on a wooden bucket, eyes glued to the scene inside.

His pen flew across the pages, taking frantic notes.

Lu Mingfei walked up with a serious expression.

"Leader, you have to believe me. I am an upstanding young man. I would never abuse my ability to project myself invisibly just to peek at others. Absolutely not."

But the way he sped up his pace totally ruined his credibility.

He stopped next to Jiraiya.

"Look at this guy—such a creep. Clearly a loser. Spends all day writing smut."

Lu Mingfei crouched beside Jiraiya, gazing at what he considered paradise.

And then—

A bloodcurdling scream.

"AH! MY EYES! WHO THE HELL THREW A FLASHBANG?! I CAN'T SEE ANYTHING!"

Lu Mingfei collapsed, writhing on the ground.

Ren had expected this.

"Mingfei, our chat group is a wholesome one. No pervy stuff allowed. Of course, our livestreams are also wholesome. Having a few Paladins of Light around is only natural."

Lu Mingfei looked like he was about to cry.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN ME?!"

Ren shrugged. "Why would I ruin such a fun moment?"

"Damn it! If I can't see, no one else gets to either! Leader, let's mess him up!"

Lu Mingfei scrambled to his feet as the flashbang's effect faded.

"Obviously."

Ren grinned.

Wandering around was boring. Messing with people—especially people like Jiraiya—was way more fun.

Jiraiya, completely focused on his masterpiece, furiously scribbled down notes.

He didn't notice the teenager creeping up behind him—

A mischievous grin on his face.

Like a kid about to pull the ultimate prank.

Jiraiya was so absorbed in his work that he let his guard down.

Ren saw the perfect opportunity—

And kicked him. Hard. Right in the ass.

Jiraiya never expected a sneak attack.

"OUCH!"

A sharp pain shot through him as an unstoppable force sent him flying—

Straight into the women's bathhouse.

Through the wall.

The naked women inside were stunned.

For a moment, there was silence.

Then—

"PERVERT!!!"

"DIE!!!"

"YOU SICKO!!!"

A chorus of furious screams erupted.

The beautiful girls quickly grabbed their towels, wrapping themselves up.

Then, they turned to look at Jiraiya, who was sprawled out on the floor.

Jiraiya rubbed his aching backside and glanced up at their murderous stares.

"Uh… if I say I didn't do it on purpose, would you believe me?"

"GO TO HELL!!!"

Pots, pans, and anything they could grab came flying at Jiraiya's head.

Ren Asakura found the scene hilarious.

Jiraiya scrambled to his feet and bolted—though the brutal kick from earlier had clearly done a number on him.

He ran off, clutching his bruised rear, limping as he went.

"I wasn't peeping! I was gathering inspiration! Ahh, not the face!"

Ren grinned as he watched.

Jiraiya had two major injuries in his life:

One was during Naruto's training, when Naruto lost control and transformed with four tails, forcing Jiraiya to subdue him while getting seriously wounded in the process.

The other?

Peeping on the women's bathhouse and getting his ribs shattered by Tsunade.

Jiraiya was the type to never learn his lesson—even if it nearly killed him.

Eventually, he managed to escape. After all, as a Kage-level ninja, running away from a group of girls in towels wasn't exactly difficult.

And they weren't about to chase him outside dressed like that.

But if Tsunade found out about this…

He was done for.

Ren's grin widened.

"Oh right… I should go tell Tsunade!"

Now that would be fun.

He had just stepped away from the bathhouse, ready to tattle, when—

Someone blocked his path.

A bruised and battered Jiraiya stood in front of him.

"Damn brat… you actually kicked my perfect, round ass."

Ren tilted his head.

It took him a second to recognize him.

"Oh! The pervy creep!"

Ren's voice wasn't loud, but everyone around could hear.

"Oi! Don't say it like that! I was gathering inspiration—"

Jiraiya lowered his voice, glancing around nervously, afraid the angry mob might still be lurking.

"Inspiration? More like a pervy creep!"

"Shhh!" Jiraiya pressed a finger to his lips, looking around frantically.

Then, he studied Ren closely.

"Alright, alright. Kid, I'll let this slide. You don't seem like a ninja, and I've never seen you in Konoha before."

Ren responded calmly.

"I'm not a ninja. I'm just here for fun. But I barely walked around for five minutes before running into a total creep. What rotten luck."

His disgusted expression only made Jiraiya's eye twitch.

As one of the Legendary Sannin, he wasn't used to being mocked like this.

He immediately launched into his grand introduction.

"Stop calling me a creep! I have a name! And I'm a big deal!"

He stomped his wooden sandals rhythmically, producing a steady thumping sound.

"I am the Toad Sage! One of the Three Legendary Sannin! A name so powerful that even crying children stop to listen! I am the great Jiraiya!"

Ren stared at him expressionless.

Not a single ounce of awe on his face.

"So… why are you still a pervy creep?"

Jiraiya choked.

Ren's eyes narrowed.

"Wait… don't tell me… you're still single? You look about forty. Have you never been able to get a girlfriend? Don't tell me… you're still a virgin?"

°°°

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