Chapter 53: Jiraiya

Jiraiya never expected that a simple conversation would cut this deep.

It was like taking 10,000 points of emotional damage.

Even his heart trembled.

Ren Asakura, seeing an opening, went in for the kill.

"No way, no way… There's no way someone pushing 40 has never even touched a girl before, right? No way you've never been in a relationship, right? No way you've never even held a girl's hand, right? Impossible, right?"

Jiraiya froze.

His soul left his body.

His world turned dark and cold.

Truth be told, there had been a girl who once liked Jiraiya.

She was from a small and rather unknown ninja village called Nadeshiko Village—basically a female-only society filled with beautiful women.

One of their top kunoichi had pursued Jiraiya for a long time, even challenging him to a duel.

They fought to a draw.

But in Nadeshiko Village, there was a rule: if a kunoichi fought a man to a tie, they would marry him.

However, Jiraiya already had feelings for someone else, so he turned her down… and promptly dumped the whole messy situation on his student, Naruto.

Naruto had stumbled into Nadeshiko Village by chance and was completely bewildered when he got challenged to a duel.

His opponent was a beautiful kunoichi named Shizuka.

Naruto won.

And then he, too, refused the marriage proposal.

Ren watched as Jiraiya sat there, spiraling deeper into despair.

Jiraiya, however, recovered quickly.

He refused to accept defeat.

"I can still win her over!"

Ren sighed and shook his head.

"Yeah… maybe in your next life."

Jiraiya glared but let it go.

"Anyway, I've introduced myself. I'm not some creepy peeping tom—I was just gathering inspiration! But who the hell are you?"

Ren grinned.

"Good question!"

Suddenly, his aura changed.

A wave of pure edgelord energy filled the air.

"I am he who walks the skies and dives into the depths of the sea! I know the past, foresee the future, and live as long as the heavens! I command all things, summon the winds and rains, and uphold the will of the cosmos! The one and only celestial sage—Ren Asakura!"

Jiraiya stared at him.

Then blinked.

"Ren… Asakura? What a weird name."

Ren's face darkened instantly.

"Two words. Ren. Asakura."

"Oh… okay!"

Jiraiya scratched his head awkwardly.

"By the way, what kind of material are you gathering? You're such a pervert," Ren Asakura asked.

At that, Jiraiya flashed a confident smile. His Icha Icha Paradise was one of the best-selling books in the entire shinobi world.

"Of course, I'm gathering material for my book. I also have another identity—as an author. My books have long spread across the shinobi world and consistently rank as best-sellers."

Ren Asakura: "What book?"

"Icha Icha Paradise!"

Jiraiya said the name without a hint of embarrassment.

Ren Asakura: "Is it really that good?"

Jiraiya: "Of course it is!"

Ren Asakura: "I don't believe you."

Jiraiya: "You still don't believe me, you little brat going through puberty? Let me show you the world of adults—this is a realm you've never explored before."

With a mysterious look, Jiraiya pulled out the latest volume of Icha Icha Paradise from his robe.

"Come on, kid, take a look at the adult world!"

Ren Asakura took the book from him and flipped to a random chapter.

Beside him, Lu Mingfei leaned over to peek.

"Don't get me wrong—I'm looking at this from an artistic perspective. I'm a man of integrity," Ren Asakura said seriously as he caught Jiraiya's pervy expression.

Jiraiya gave him a knowing look, as if saying, I totally get you.

…

And just like that, the three of them squatted by the roadside, reading what looked like an erotic novel—wait, no, they were appreciating Jiraiya's latest literary masterpiece.

Ren Asakura suddenly closed the book.

Lu Mingfei's projection: "Why'd you stop? It was just getting to the best part!"

Ren Asakura said with a serious expression, "If we keep reading, this book is going to get censored."

Jiraiya, puffing out his chest like a proud rooster, declared, "I'm sure I just gained another devoted fan today!"

Ren Asakura casually stored Icha Icha Paradise in his personal storage space.

"Ahem! I was reading it purely for artistic appreciation—I definitely wasn't looking at it through yellow-tinted glasses. But I don't like owing people. Since this is our first meeting and you gifted me such an outstanding literary work, I have to return the favor. Here, take this book—Golden Plum. It's a literary classic, passed down through generations, praised by countless scholars and poets."

"Oh?"

Jiraiya took the book Ren Asakura handed him, flipped through a couple of pages, then closed it again. His eyes sparkled with excitement.

"Good book, good book! Truly a literary masterpiece. Looks like I'll have to take my time appreciating it properly in the middle of the night. But hey, I still have another volume of Icha Icha Paradise I wrote earlier."

Jiraiya pulled out another book.

Ren Asakura narrowed his eyes. "How's the content? My standards are pretty high."

Jiraiya patted his chest confidently. "Top ten best-seller. Guaranteed quality."

Ren Asakura took the book from Jiraiya, then pulled out another one of his own.

"This book may not be an ancient literary masterpiece, but it's incredibly popular among young people. Almost no one dislikes it after reading it."

"Oh?"

Jiraiya took the book and glanced at the title.

"Kunoichi...!"

The cover featured a beautiful female ninja tied up, her eyes filled with defiance.

Jiraiya: "I have another one here..."

Ren Asakura also brought out one from his collection. "This one tells a beautiful story—about a wife who works tirelessly to support her husband. The husband is deeply moved, and the wife silently sacrifices for him behind the scenes."

Jiraiya took a deep breath. "I have another one..."

Ren Asakura: "The Pillow Book!"

Lu Mingfei's projection watched in stunned silence as the two engaged in a shady PY transaction.

Being just a projection, he couldn't interfere with this world.

"Damn it! You guys can't just leave me out of this!"

In the end, the PY transaction was completed.

Both men were satisfied, each having acquired a new literary treasure to appreciate.

Jiraiya looked down at the new books in his arms.

These would bring him plenty of inspiration—including some content he had never explored before.

"Looks like my next book will be my best-selling one yet! The future is bright!"

Tonight, Jiraiya would be brimming with energy.

As for the meeting? Whether he attended or not didn't really matter.

Once the meeting ended, he'd have to leave again anyway.

Politics was such a hassle.

Jiraiya hated trouble, and he despised politics even more.

Back when the Third Hokage died, many of Konoha's higher-ups wanted him to take the position of the Fifth Hokage.

But he refused—he would rather wander off in search of the elusive Tsunade.

He still remembered the first time Kakashi read Icha Icha Paradise.

That shocked expression—like he had just opened the door to a whole new world.

After that, Kakashi read it all night, going through several volumes in a row.

By the time he snapped out of it, the sun had already risen.

…And yet, it still ended up getting censored.

°°°

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