Ch:6: A really stupid Murder mystery part: 2

Kirito and TRF were looking on one of the nearby windows until.

Kirito, TRF: "Huh?" * notices a robed figure on a roof on a nearby building*

Kirito: "We have eyes on the subject! Pursuing on foot!" *jumps out the window*

TRF: "Right behind you!" *Jumps out the window*

Asuna: "guys wait!"

TRF, Kirito: "SHIT!! *brake window and crash land* Ah! Ah! Ow! Ah! Ugh! Ugh!" *dogs start to growl and bark at them*

Kirito: "AW, COME ON!"

TRF: "NOPE! SORRY BUDDY! BUT BONE-APATITE!" *teleports away*

Kirito: "TRATOR!"

Timeskip: brought to you by TRF riding a piece of his Hyperion blaster.

In the hotel room. When both of them got back.

Kirina: "sooo, did you catch him?"

TRF: "no, he got away."

Sinon, Yuuki: "damnit/shit."

Asuna: "Really? I figured some random perp would be no match for the world's greatest detective — oh wait, no, THAT'S BATMAN! And you're not Batman, are you? You both will never be Batman."

Kirito, TRF: "HEY, FUCK YOU!!" They both yelled and slammed their fist on the wall, causing shivers down everyone's spines.

Kirito:* beat, clears throat*" Hmph, That, uh, cut surprisingly deep. Well played."

TRF: "* beat, coughed* Yeah, good job, but next time you won't be so lucky."

Schmitt: "She was right. Griselda's Ghost is really coming for us!"

TRF: "... but if next time is now, I'll let it pass because... eh... "NINJA VANISH!!" *disapears in smoke along with sinon, kirina and yuuki*

Asuna: "HEY! GET BACK HERE!!"

A little bit later:

They were walking through town when they noticed Kirito running after them.

TRF: "about time you came, what made ya follow us?"

Kirito: "Are you seriously asking that? I was not going to stay there taking care af the panicking crybaby."

Sinon: "well, at least your honest, if I stayed there, I would just let ' griselda's ghost' kill him."

Kirina: "Sinon, we all know ' griselda's ghost' was a fib made up by Yolko to keep us at square 1, so just stop it."

Sinon: "fine! *pouts* Just wanted to have a little fun..."

TRF: "*grabs sinon's hand* and you will, just be patient, ok?" *smiles*

Sinon: "*blushes* o-ok, Thanks."*leans on his shoulder*

TRF: "Anytime partner."*ruffles her hair*

Yuuki: "sis is probably going to be mad at us."

Kirito: "I'll be surprised if she didn't walk up to us holding a scythe" *he imagined Asuna holding a scythe chasing after them while the scream and laugh.*

Timeskip: brought to you by TRF, Yuuki and Kirito doing a pose while using their unique skills.

It was nighttime and they were walking down a path which leads to the town square. All the girls were leaning on TRF while they an Kirito were walking.

Kirina: "I wonder how good would pack-man be if he was in the matrix?"

Sinon: "He would probably survive until the bullet slow-motion scene."

Yuuki: "why?"

Sinon: "because, his heads too fucking big."

TRF: "She is right you know, i mean, have you seen The video of the parody: "The pack-Matrix?"

Kirito: "Man, What a way to die, because of its big, fat head."

TRF: "I know, right? *They sit down in the town square and see Asuna running up to them then sit down beside Kirito.* well, if it isn't 'Ass the racist.' How are you doing?"

Asuna: "I can't believe you 5 just left me with that guy!"

Kirito: "Really? What part of that was out of character for us?"

Asuna: "*sigh* fair enough. I'm not sure if I should even give you guys this, but here." *tosses them sandwiches wrapped in purple wrapper*

Kirito: "Hm? *opens the wrapper and sees the sandwich* You made this? But wouldn't you have had to— "

Asuna: "*cheerfully* If you say "open the menu" I'm gonna stab you in the eye."

Yuuki: "Damn sis, straight to the point."

Kirito: "What? no! I was just gonna say— *takes a bit of the sandwich* Huh. this is actually pretty good."

TRF: "Damn. This is delicious. I wonder if Yuuki can cook as well as Asuna can?"

Yuuki: *hears TRF and smirks* "yeah, I can, I actually helped her making these."

TRF: * surprised* "well I wouldn't mind you cooking me something, any day."

Sinon, Kirina: "same here!"

Yuuki: "*blushes*aww, thanks"

Asuna: "Right... so anyway, I think we should go over what we know so far."

Kirito: "why? Me and TRF figured the whole thing out hours ago."

Asuna: "YOU WHAT!?" She shouted stomping her foot on the ground causing Kirito and TRF's sandwiches to fall on the flour and shatter.

TRF, Kirito: "* distraught* my sandwich... *fall to their knees* it was innocent!"

Asuna (concerned): " guys, are you gonna—"

Kirito, TRF: *still staring at the ground* "SSHH! We must grieve."

Sinon, kirina, Yuuki: *thoughts* Man, they are taking this very hard. Can't blame them though, would do the same thing if that happened to me.

______________________

SAO, April 13, 2024, Flour: 19: cross hill, Griselda's grave.

Kirito was riding on a horse to griselda's grave while TRF was running and jumping very quickly through the treetops wearing different armour And clothing along with star saber.

(This is what he's wearing)

(With hood up)

Kirito: "Man TRF! Where did you get the armour?"

TRF: "The admin console, where else?"

Kirito: "oh, right, forgot that every shop except Tiffany's hates you."

TRF: "Anyways, look alive we're here. You go on ahead, I got to make sure nobody's following us, I'll get over there once laughing coffin leaves."

Kirito: "Alright, suite yourself buddy."*goes over there*

A bit later:

TRF was now standing on a branch of a tree, seeing the laughing coffin members leave after kirito's 'how to make yourselves famous' advise, but then noticed one hiding and about to shoot at kains and Yolko who were standing over Schmitt.

TRF: "Heh, nice try." 

the remaining member looks up then gets a blade through the throat and dies while the others noticed this and Yolko, kains And Schmitt were looking scared at him.

schmitt: "I-It's HIM! THE SAPPHIRE ASSASSIN!!"

kirito: "The sapphire assassin? What kind of name is- oh my god. TRF, are you the guy that assassinated the mob that don fluffles was the boss at until we watched him fall off a cliff?"

Yolko: "wait, TRF IS THE SAPPHIRE ASSASSIN!?"

TRF: "Yeah! It's amazing right!?"

Kirito: "I know! You're just like Altair!"

TRF: "Yeah!"

Kirito: "Anyways, back to what I was saying before that amazing surprise, I wasn't about to miss the endgame along with TRF."

Kains: "I'm sorry, what are you- "*gets interrupted by Kirito.*

Kirito: "For you see! We suspected all along that kains death was nothing more than a ruse. The safe zones surrounding the towns are an immutable law of this game. Even still, that light show you put on was quite convincing. So, we did a little digging with our friends, and, Leo and behold... Turns out flour: 57 has this fascinating little glitch that swaps the boring old teleport animation for the snazzy death version. TRF, would you continue."

TRF: "Thank you Kirito, but for this, The real kicker? The glitch only works if the game thinks you're in free fall. Like say, and we're just spitballing here... you were to hang yourself from a bell tower... Or perhaps, take a swan dive out of a window. Pair that with a well-hidden Teleport crystal, and you'd have an instant recipe for mysterious death."

Kirito, TRF: "serves one for conspirator, may contain trace amounts of "CALLED IT!"

Yolko: "But like I said in the hotel room: A ghost wouldn't have to follow the rules of a game. How did you 2 and the other 3 realise I was lying? "

Trf: "fuck you, that's how."

Kirito: "Ah, well, that part was quite simple. You see, we're not idiots."

Kains: "Yep, that'd do it..."

Yolko: "Shut up, Kains! I thought it was clever..."

TRF: "of course, we do have some evidence, if you're into that sort of thing. After your quote-unquote "death", I leapt out the window to give chase after you're apparent killer. As we watched him get away, our first thought was: "why would a ghost need a teleport crystal?" Our second thought was: "oh shit! Window!" Kirito, you can explain the rest."

Kirito: "Thank you TRF, and with that, much like that window, the cracks in your facade started to form: Your reaction when I suggested kains faked his death? Your barely-hidden disdain for Schmitt? The stupid ghost thing? It al, made sense!"

TRF, Kirito: "you and kains were in on this together, and for whatever reason, you had decided to fake your deaths. Of the three members who voted to keep the item, that only left Schmitt. And since he obviously wasn't on it, that little bit of Shakespeare must have been for his benefit."

Yolko: "but how could you both know that? We could have been working with him to scare your group off or something." She said as TRF and Kirito laughed.

kirito, TRF: "Right, as if anyone would let that moron in on a conspiracy. A friggin' LAND MINE deals with pressure better than him, and would kill fewer people!"

Schmitt: "Hey!"

TRF, Kirito: "Finally, that left one possibility: The two of you think Schmitt was the one that killed Griselda, and you planned this whole farce in order to finally scare him into confessing."

Kains: "Right, look, you 2 along with your friends seem to have put a lot of thought into this— "

Kirito: "Well, some people had to." 

Kains: "But, this whole thing leaves me with one question: WHO THE HELL ARE YOU 2?!"

Yolko: "I'm sorry, Kains, I entangled them in our web of lies." 

Kains: "WHYYYY?! "

Yolko: "well, I mean. It was very important that he, uhm... Huh..."

TRF: "well, looks like our work here is done. We shall bid you, adieu. After all, we're sure you 3 have a lot to talk about." *shoots a detached hidden blade out of his gauntlet and grabs it then throws it at a monster which was somewhat near the group killing it*

Kains: "That's right, Schmitt. You were the only other person that wanted to keep the item. It had to be you!"

Yolko: "*tears in her eyes* How could you kill her, Schmitt! She was your friend! Did you really need the item that badly!?"

Schmitt: "What? Are you kidding me!? You guys are my friends! You know I could never do something like that!"

Yolko: "How DARE you act like our friend after what you've done!"

TRF: "wow, you just accuse someone right off the bat and go with it, without investigating further into it. Kirito, you forgot something."

Kirito: "oh, right thanks, totally forgot. We should mention he didn't do it."

Schmitt: "Are you KIDDING ME!?"

Yolko: "Would you both stop jerking us around!?"

Kirito: "What!? We just thought you guys might like to know! You seem pretty interested about the subject."

Kains: "it had to be him! There are no other suspects!"

Kirito: "Oh, We wouldn't say that... isn't that right, Grimlock?"

Yolko: *gasps, swoons*

*long beat*

TRF: *struggles to laugh *

Kirito: "I said, isn't that right, Grimlock! "

Yolko: "...Gasp?"

TRF: *laughs*

Kirito: "Ugh. I SAID—" 

Asuna: "Dammit, Kirito, we're coming!" She said as she was coming up with a guy with a hat and glasses along with wearing a trench coat, while she had her rapier pointed behind his back making sure he didn't run off.

Kirito: "come on! We had this all timed out and everything!"

Asuna: "well, I'm sorry! Shockingly, He wasn't very COOPERATIVE!"

TRF: "Anyways, plan B! You can come out now! They ruined it!" *sinon, kirina and yuuki then appear from the treetops and aim their weapons at Grimlock. "Well, at least these guys do it at the right time, unlike you."

Asuna: "oh, Fuck you TRF!"

TRF: "right back at ya!"

Kains: "oh, goddamnit, who's this now?"

Yolko: "I... kind of entangled them too."

Kains: "Christ, Yolko! How big is this web!? You're catching school buses in this thing!"

Asuna: "Hey, it's a good thing she did. If she hadn't forgotten to delete me from her friends list, we never would've known where to find you."

Kains: "you forgot to delete your friends list... We've been planning this... for six months... and you forgot to delete your FRIENDS LIST?!"

Yolko: "I'm sorry! I kept having trouble with the menu!"

Kains: "Are you kidding me!? A child could figure that out!"

The rest except for Asuna and grimlock: *supresses a laugh*

Asuna: "shutty."

Kirina: "Hey, You 2! We just gift-wrapped your friends killer for you. You maby want to react here?"

Sinon: "like literally, we were expecting more for our amusement."

Yuuki: "Totally!"

Kains: "oh, please! How could Grimlock be the killer? He was helping us!"

TRF: "*sarcastic* Yeah! We mean, why would a killer EVER want to force someone else to confess for his crime?"

Kains: "*sigh* Go on."

TRF: "For you see!"

Kains: "Goddamnit..."

TRF: "Schmitt would have nothing to gain from Griselda's death. If he'd kill her, the item would have simply been destroyed along with her avatar."

Kains: "Really? That's your proof? Bandits extort people out of items all the time."

Kirito: "Ah. A valid point. But tell us, do you think Schmitt would've trusted a stranger to do the job?"

Kains: "well, no..."

TRF: "Well then, you must think Schmitt was skilled enough to have killed griselda one-on-one. Or perhaps smart enough to catch her underwear's?"

Kains: "oh my god, Schmitt's not the killer."

Schmitt: "Aw, come on!"

Kains: "So then why the hell were you apologizing to Griselda?"

Schmitt: "Hey, people threatened to kill me for giving Pokemon V&R a 7 out of 10. At this point, I've learned to just assume the position..."

Yolko: "But just because Schmitt didn't do it doesn't mean that Grimlock did! He loved griselda! They were the perfect couple!"

TRF: "and it's that very reason that made us suspect him. You see, SAO as this little-known And rarely-used feature: Married players share inventory space. He could've stolen the item from his own grubby inventory at any time.-"

Kirito: "-And with his wife dead, no one would be wiser, and he'd get to keep all those sweet profits to himself."

Grimlock: "Are you mad!? I didn't kill my wife for something as trivial as money! No. My story is... far more tragic. We were so in love. In all our time together, we never had a single fight. But then... one night, everything changed."

Griselda (Flashback): "Im sorry honey. I didn't have much time to make dinner. I have to go meet Yolko and the girls to strategise for the raid. But, there's some left overs in the fridge. Don't worry. I'll make it up to you tomorrow. Love you."

Grimlock: "And just like that, I realised the woman I loved was gone. I was devastated. How could she betray me like this? Clearly, if I was to preserve her memory... To hold on to the angel she once was... something drastic had to be done. So you see, BOY, I didn't kill griselda. I killed the thing that took her place."

Kirito: "Wow! Okay! Um, let us see if we got this. You killed your wife because she wouldn't get in the kitchen and make you a SANDWICH!?"

TRF: "Jesus Christ! WTF MAN!? You must have worked hard to be this INCOMPETENT!"

Grimlock: "and what man would blame me? Kains? Schmitt? You guys know what I'm talking about."

Kains: "don't... don't talk to us, man."

Kirito, TRF: "we cant believe you. You had something special. Something most people spend their whole lives looking for. And you just threw it away! And for what? Over a lousy meal? You never really loved her. You just wanted to possess her. You disgust us!"

Grimlock: "Kids, someday, you'll understand what it's like to be In love."

TRF, Kirito: "you son of a-"

Asuna: "Hold it, you 2. I've got something I've been holding in for a while. Grimlock... that hat makes you look like a HIPSTER!"

Grimlock: *gasps and falls to his knees* " No! NO! That can't be true!"

Kirito: "What?! No! Bullshit! I had to go into a dark place to pull out that masterpiece! It was full of emotions that scare and confuse me. *to the killer* Now come on, get up, we're doing this again, and this time you're not gonna fold just because that hat makes you look like John Lennon joined the mafia!" 

Grimlock: *completely broken*" Oh GOD!"

TRF: "That's more Bullshit! Now get up, besides, that hat looks like Donald trump's 'make America great again' goofy hat!"

Grimlock: *even more completely broken* "OH GOD! PLEASE STOP!"

Kirito: "See? There's no challenge in it. *sighs* Verbal abuse, man, it's a lost art..."

Kains: "wow... six months of investigation, and we thought Schmitt did it. *sigh* look, Kirito, TRF. I know we didn't start off on the best foot, but I suppose we'd be dead if it wasn't for you and your friends, so... thanks."

Kirito, TRF: *choking up*" You guys were the best slaves a boy could have!"

Kains: "Fuck it! I tried! You all saw it!"

Kains, Yolko And Schmitt dragged Grimlock on his feet and started walking away.

Grimlock: "where are you taking me?"

Kains: "we're gonna make sure you get the help you need, buddy. Right behind this tree." He said as they went behind a tree.

Kirito: "well, that was an interesting diversion, we should probably be getting back into the front lines soon." He said as kains, Yolko And Schmitt started killing Grimlock.

Kirina: "way ahead of you bro."

Asuna: "I'm only gonna say this once, so you all better listen."

Everyone else: "Hmm?"

Asuna: "That stuff you 2 said, about finding someone special? And the looks of you 3 gave to grimlock? It was... nice, to see you all have a sensitive side." She said as Grimlock's screams we're getting louder along with the trios.

Yuuki: "Hey, hey! Sis would you keep down with that?"

Sinon: "look, if this is about us being right at everything, we forgive you, okay?"

Asuna: "Damnit, guy's! I'm trying to be nice and have a moment with Kirito here! Which isn't easy with some people being SO LOUD!"

Kains (in the background): "Sorry, Asuna. We're just about done here."

Grimlock: "wait, no no no NO NO NO-!!" *dies*

Asuna: "Ahh, That's better. As for you-" *gets cut off by Kirito*

Kirito: "Hey, uh, Asuna? Good... good job figuring out we could track them from your friends list. We never friend anyone, so we probably never would have thought of it."

Asuna: "Hmm! Well, then, as a reward, you can take me to breakfast. We never did get to finish our meal the other day. Because of another reason also..."* glares at TRF and Sinon as they scratch their heads and sweat-drop And starts waking away until Kirito pokes her arm* "Huh? What is it?" She said as she turned around to see what everyone was looking at, to see griselda in a brown robe, to her surprise, she gasps.

Griselda (ghost/spirit): "Thank you... for freeing me. Now my soul can finally-" *gets interrupted when Kirito throws a dagger at her *

Kirito, TRF: "AAAUUGGGHHH!!"

Asuna, Yuuki: "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?"

TRF, Kirito: "WE DON'T KNOW!! JUST RUN!! RUN!!"

Sinon, Kirina: "OH MY GOD!!"

Everyone: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH-!!!!!!!!!!!" They all scream as griselda sigh's as she watches them run away.

______________________

Kirito and asuna were now eating at the restaurant until Kirito gasped.

Kirito: "oh, shit. I completely forgot!"

Asuna: "Hmm? What is it, Kirito?"

Kirito: "Damnit! I hope it's not too late"

Asuna: "What? Was there something we missed?" A bunch of confetti popped out of nowhere as words was shown saying:

Kirito: " Boom! The Kirito is always right foundation, Grand reopening!" He said laughing as Asuna growled then picked up a knife "AAH!" Kirito shouted as Asuna shoved a knife at his face.

_______________

A/N: "ouch... thats a painful way to end this chapter. Anyways, we've just hit over 100 views! So all I can say is this: Thank you for the support. I appreciate it, as do many others, as always, next chapter will be out sometime soon, and as always, I'll talk to you all later."