Chapter 8: My voice

Xavis woke up his consciousness drifting back to reality,his eyes heavy and kept staying close not wanting to embrace bright room he was in . He slowly blinked his eyes getting adapted to the light little by little and finally forced his eyes , the light still scorched his eyes almost blinding him. He was on a mini bed with blue clothing, in front of him his eyes could make out the shape of a woman in her late 20s, staring at him as though she was observing him.

"Ouch" His forehead banged, a persistent yet diminished pain like his head had been split open with an axe ,

The pain was far Duller than before but still sharp enough that he could feel it ,his hand found way going up to feel his head , there was nothing there .

But still it hurted.

"How are you feeling?" the woman's voice crept in his head, he felt terribly in pain for some reason his body ache ranging from his wrist to his neck then his head.

Her voice jumbled in his mind and her face slowly looked familiar as the seconds passed by. His mind raced and wondered why he didn't recognize her immediately, Mrs Betty the school nurse ,her hair was dressed in the usual perm style with her joyful smile.

"W-hat.." his voice started lowlike, like his mouth had once been chained but was now free.

His mouth opened once more to talk ,The woman's ears strained to catch his next word. But his words had finished , his lips sealed with nothing planning to come out next.

She decided to ask with her face beaming with smile,

"Do you know where you are?" His head moved slowly, nodding , he was at the clinic that much was obvious . She stretched her hand to feel his temperature, his body temperature was normal unlike before when he was brought in here .

"And _you remember what happened that brought you here , right…?" Her eyes trying to get a reaction from him , Xavis tried remembering ,

It was only one second, It had only been one second -no, it felt like one second- something in him flatly denied that ,

No, it was more than that.

They were gaps in his mind gaps , vast empty gaps that he couldn't fill up about what he remembered and what had happened , Firstly,

He was sure had seen the golden flying thing, Yes

He had tried to touch it, Yes

He had touched it, Yes....No.....maybe. He wasn't sure.

He had felt his head banging, Maybe… Yes ....He wasn't also sure .

His head had felt like it was being split open, Yes his head had felt as though it was going to split open then he ….. He slept?. Shockingly...

That wasn't right , he didn't feel tired neither did he feel sleepy in any way then why, why did he sleep.

His brain racked for answers. He wanted to and wished to remember what had happened before and after he had slept.

The nurse noticed his face as though he was thinking really hard , his eyebrows furrowed with his eyes serious .

"It's okay if you don't remember, you can always….."she was cut short with him suddenly raising his head up with a look stern look,

He had remembered something…

" I fell asleep..... I slept in class"

What he blurted from his mouth sounded stupid to even him, he was sure that wasn't entirely true but he was sure he had slept or at most passed out.

The nurse expression was distant with confusion , Xavis noticed this

Wasn't I right? .

The woman noticed he was looking at her,his face shocked trying to know the reason for her expression,she changed her expression into a smile .

"What's wrong" He could tell something wasn't right, if everything was right and he had actually slept then what was he doing at the clinic and what was the pain he felt on his forehead as though he had bumped into something hard.

"Nothing is wrong Xavis.." her eyes looking truthful, she smiled,

'Lies'

His brain suddenly trembled , sending weird sensations to his body.

'Xavis'

Why did his name suddenly sound weird to him, it felt ike he wasn't used to being called that for some reason.

As long as he could remember his name had always been Xavis and everyone had call him that everyone except his family, his mum in particular, she often called him by the name she had given him when he was still a baby from her mother tongue ,

Kaido, surprisingly that name felt more natural to him than Xavis for some reason .

Weird,

"You will be allowed to go home soon boy , how is your head ?." the nurse asked with a smiling face ,

"Fine " he didn't want to tell her that it still hurt a bit after all she knew something she wasn't letting him on, she stood up and approached the door , opening it and exiting.

His eyes following her caught glimpses of guards outside at alert as though expecting orders to go in for an attack , the nurse speaking to them as the door closed.

His nerves were not calm, he was tense, it was as though he knew the reason they were there and at the same he didn't know the reason, shockingly the only thing his brain told him was that they were there to subdue him if he went on rampage, for some weird reason he felt that way.

'Why would he go on rampage though?' He wiped his forehead of sweat.

" Die….. I have to die." A creep voice sounded in the room,

Xavis eyes scanned around the empty room , " Who said that ?" his face tensed up searching the room, highly at alert . The room was empty with no one around and nothing around him .

No desk , no design.... Nothing, only his bed and the chair that the nurse had used to sit down.

"I have to end it…. The pain" The voice sounded again,His head raised to the roof sharply no one was there ,no one was in the room with him , he was alone.

Then who spoke , his breath turned shallow.

"I have to go...." He blocked his ears trying block out the voice but it pressed in , creep and loud , like a virus.

" IT hurts ... it hurts… I have to die.. I want to die" his hand shaking raising to his chin ,

He gasped for air

His breathing stopped at his realization , his lips were moving .

He was the one talking.

'What the hell?'

His eyes trembling,

'Why would he want to kill himself...

Why would he say that?....."

A chill ran down his spine. He closed his lips. His heart pounded against his ribs.

'I don't want to die.... I never did....' he kept the thought repeated I'm his mind and kept on telling himself folding his legs close to his body shaking back and forth .

"Shut up bastard"

His lips moved once more.