Chapter 66

TW ; SELF HARM 

Please don't read or stop reading all the way if you feel uneasy or uncomfortable. 

Please take care of yourself. Love you all! 

__________

As soon as Lia returned back, he met a very tense situation in the house. Lydia was standing with a raging snarl with arms crossed over her chest. 

"Where were you?" She questioned in a sharp tone. 

Lia rolled his eyes, he was too tired to deal with her at the moment so he walked past her. "Who are you to question me in my own fucking house?" 

"I'm your mother!" 

Lia stopped and glared at her. "Since when?" 

Not tolerating his disrespect, Lydia slapped him across his face. "How dare you use that tone on me?! Am I being too lenient with you lately?!"

Lia grimaced at her with pure hatred and disgust. Looking over his mother's shoulder he could see Jason smiling vigorously like a creep. Lia's hatred tenfold but another slap jolted his brain. This slap made his lower lip bleed. 

"Where are you looking, slut? Still trying to seduce him in front of me," she yelled. "You should be grateful that he still treats you as his son after what you did to him?!" 

Jason gasped and jumped beside her side. "Please don't be harsh on him, honey. I only told you that he's out because I was worried about him but I don't want you to hit him. It will make him hate us even more." 

Lia scowled at him with bloodshot eyes. Jason smirked and raised a brow at him. 

"Oh, you are too naive, dear. Look how daring he is. Still staring at you in front of me-" 

"That's really bold of you to think I would ever seduce your ugly husband. My standards aren't that low. But my father sure had to marry a wrench like you who cheated on him while he was away," Lia spat, glaring at her.

"How dare you?!" Lydia fumed.

"I bet your old smelly pussy isn't satisfying enough and that's why your dear is sniffing around others' holes. You killed that maid when you caught them in an act but still didn't say anything to him." Lia laughed. "You know what that makes you…a cheap old mistress,"

"Shut up!!"

She grabbed Lia's hair and pushed him to the floor. Lia's head was pulled backward by his hair but he didn't fight which he could do easily if he wanted to. He could feel his scalp burning, but he ignored it and kept his mouth shut. He was enjoying his mother's tantrum, knowing he hit a nerve.

He never stops her from hitting him, reason unknown. But he is getting fed up because for all reasons Lydia was taking advantage of that reason to abuse him.

Lia pulled his hand to wipe the blood from his lips which made Lydia flinch and gasp thinking he was swinging it at her. Lia chuckled in response.

"Oh, did I scare you?" He taunted.

"Get out!" She yelled, grabbing a nearby vase and throwing it at him.

Lia moved from his spot and the vase hit the wall behind him. He laughed harder, making Lydia angrier. He wanted to push her blowup as far as he could. 

"Mom?" The angelic voice from behind her said.

The angel was Eve.

"Go back upstairs, darling. Mommy and this whore have something to settle," Lydia ordered, instantly putting on a smile. 

"But-" Eve's sleepy eyes trailed over Lia who was sitting on the floor with a vase scattered beside him. His eyes landed on the blood on Lia's lip and he ran towards him. "Oh my god! Brother Li, you are bleeding!"

But Lia shoved him away before his soft and precious hands could touch him. "Don't touch me!"

"I-I am sorry," Eve looked down in shame.

Lydia was furious with Lia's response and walked over to her youngest son.

"Dirty!" Lia muttered under his breath but loud enough for Eve to hear it. 

Eve flinched at his harsh tone and turned his head away from his brother, afraid that Lia was scared of catching his skin cancer.

"You stupid--!" Lydia was about to slap him but Eve came in between them.

"Stop hurting brother, mom," Eve sobbed.

"Eve, go upstairs," Lydia demanded.

Eve slowly looked again at Lia through his wet eyes. Lia looked away.

"Go. Up. Stairs," Lydia repeated, glaring at her dear son, Eve.

"Mommy, please,"

"Eve, I am warning you. If you don't go upstairs now, then I will completely ban you from seeing this bad influence for a month."

"Brother Li is not a bad influence. Brother Li is my only friend," Eve sobbed even more, making Lia's head turn to him abruptly. "Please, stop hurting him. He is also my family and I don't like seeing him in pain. You never understand how much he suffers and is in pain." 

"Oh, so you are taking his side?" Lydia raised a brow, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I love you both equally, so, please stop fighting."

Lydia's eyes softened at the sight of Eve's miserable face. She can't see him crying, her son is precious to her but she also can't bear Eve constantly getting close and caring for Lia. She doesn't understand why her pure-hearted and innocent child even cares for this dirty and hideous whore.

"Alright, honey, Mommy will stop if he apologises to me and you." Lydia smiled sweetly.

"Pftt! You sure have big dreams that can't be fulfilled," Lia rolled his eyes, getting up from the ground. His eyes trailed at their hug and he looked away laughing bitterly.

"Your delusional ass is twerking too over the ceiling if you think I would apologise to any of you freeloads fuckers, so fuck off and suck your own holes." Lia walked past them.

"Where are you going?" Lydia barked from behind. 

"None of your fucking business," Lia hissed, walking out of the living room and going to his room. 

Lia fell on his bed in his room, he was exhausted. He was awake all day and all night. But he didn't feel tired when he was with his beauty even if he was choked and almost met his death. But after all this drama downstairs, it made him feel tired.

"She doesn't even know how I became this dirty and unsightly whore in the first place," he muttered under his breath.

His eyes were closed as his mind wandered off to the day he was corrupted. The day where his life turned upside down, the day where he was left broken and never healed. 

It was raining. Lia was running in the rain as tears were mixed with the rainwater. After what Jason did to him, he ran all the way to Lydia's office since she was the only family member that came to his mind. She was his mother. The only person he could turn to. The only person he trusts.

But sometimes trust can be betrayed and it hurts so much. And that's what happened to him, his own mother, his only hope didn't trust him. Instead, she trusted her husband's word. She trusted his son's molester's words over him, her own flesh and blood.

He buried his face in the sheets, his tears coming back finally, but this time, they were the ones that couldn't be washed away. "Why? Why does everyone h-hurt me?!"

You're a dirty slut!

Disgusting! 

You're nothing but a dirty whore!

A slut! 

Ugly! Why don't you just die?! 

You deserved it! 

You are not my son!" 

You are not our child! 

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" He screamed in agony, pulling his hair and scratching his skin.

Kill yourself! 

"Please, make it stop. S-Someone...just please."

He grabbed a knife that he had hidden under his bed.

"Die. Y-Yes I should…just die!" He chanted as he cut his hand, again and again. He watched the blood gush out and drip onto his bed, his eyes were cold and emotionless. He felt no pain, only numbness.

His mind went blank as his eyes started to lose focus.

I am so weak. Worthless. I don't deserve to live! 

He dropped the knife and let his head fall. His vision blurred as everything started to fade away. He felt like dying. No one cared anyway. No one is going to miss him. He was all alone. Everyone hates him. He hates everyone. 

I am dirty, ugly, disgusting, a whore, a slut, a slut..a slut…

Just a waste of space. I am nothing, I am not worthy, I don't deserve love, I don't deserve to live—

And that was his last thought. Before he lost his senses, his body was trembling. His hands were still shaking. The knife fell to the ground with a thud, but Lia didn't even hear it. His breathing was rough and uneven, his mind was hazy until he began to hallucinate things, his inner voice. 

"You are still not dead. What a disappointment." 

Hearing his own voice saying those things was scary yet tempting because doing exactly what could make all his pain go away. 

"You should've killed yourself, it would've been better for everyone."

"W-who are you?" He whispered, he wanted to open his eyes but couldn't. He felt suffocated, seized in his own mind. 

"Oh, Lia, I'm you. The darkest, most sinful, part of your personality. That you're afraid of showing others," the voice laughed viciously. 

"I don't have…any d-dark sides!"

It laughed hysterically, "Really? You are nothing but a slut. A whore. And you know it. I am just reminding you, you useless piece of shit."

"I'm not a whore, nor a slut! I am not dirty!"

"Yes, you are. Everyone thinks that, they just don't say it. They pity you. They don't love you. They hate you. You are a burden to them. They just act nice so they don't hurt your feelings. They don't care about you. Your mother is right. Everyone hates you! Your mother, Eve, Dexter, everyone hates you!" 

"That's not true! They care about me. E-Eve, that fool cared about me. I am not a burden!"

The voice asked in a low, villainous voice. "Do they really love you, Lia? Do they really? Or are they just acting, like they always have done?"

"They aren't!"

"Oh, Lia. You're so stupid. You are such a disappointment."

"I am not a disappointment."

"Yes, you are. That is why no one likes you. You're so annoying. No one wants to deal with you. You are too much. Too clingy, too loud, too emotional. And when that beauty learns how pathetic you are, he will hate you too. He will laugh at you!" 

His heart was thumping and he cried as the voice vanished but the pain stayed. He doesn't want to feel this way.

He really just wants to die. Everything that voice said was true. He's just fooling himself. 

He stood up abruptly, looking for his knife while lines of blood slid down his arm. When he found the knife on the floor, he picked it up with a crazy expression as if he was high on drugs. He lay down and stared at the ceiling, trying to calm himself down. But he couldn't. The tears wouldn't stop flowing. His heart kept beating rapidly.

Taking a deep breath he placed the sharp knife on his other hand as he stabbed himself, over and over, cutting his arm, his chest, his stomach, his legs, anywhere he could reach.

His mind went blank, his hands were stained red with blood, his clothes were covered in crimson liquid. His world was spinning.

"Brother Li?!"

Suddenly, he heard a terrified voice running towards him. Two shaky hands began to touch him, crying and wailing but the hands felt burning on his body, reminding him of that day.

Hands...no..no...don't touch me. "I'm sorry…please don't.." he sobbed out.

"Brother Li, why?"

He was too overwhelmed, his mind was going insane. "P-Please...no! Don't...d-dont do it!" He begged eyes tightly shut, the hands felt so burning and he was shouting loudly. He no longer differentiates reality from a nightmare.

"Lia, no. It's me, Eve. Please, open your eyes, look at me," Eve cried out desperately.

Eve finally managed to open Lia's hand and took the knife away, throwing it into the furthest corner of the room, but Lia was still panicking, his eyes were unfocused and glazed over, and his voice was hoarse and weak.

"D-don't touch me."

"Okay, okay, I won't touch you, I promise," Eve promised desperately, waiting for his brother to calm down, looking over him with aching chest. 

After a while, Lia seemed to be a bit more at ease, he stopped thrashing and screaming but his tears didn't stop. He kept crying and trembling and Eve didn't know what to do.

He couldn't even imagine what his brother had gone through. It pained him, how much his brother suffered and no one cared.

"You're okay, you're okay, everything is fine," But no matter what, Eve continued to comfort his brother, not touching him, his heart shattered and ached painfully.

"This is all my fault!" Lia whimpered again. 

"Lia, please," Eve whispered helplessly, he just wanted him to calm down.

Lia took a few deep breaths, slowly coming back to his senses, but still trembling, tears still falling down his eyes. Soon, as soon as his breaths settled down he drifted to sleep.

Eve sighed heavily, feeling the guilt and regret swallowing him up. He knew it wasn't his fault. But the fact that his brother was hurting and he did nothing to prevent it, it's his biggest regret. Knowing that his father and mother were the reason for this, anger started boiling inside him, he wanted to take his anger out on them.

"I will protect you, brother, no matter what. I won't let anything bad happen to you anymore," he whispered, stroking Lia's head softly.

He stood and brought a first aid kit from his room and began to clean Lia's wound, treating him with care, not wanting to disturb his sleep. 

He cleaned the blood and bandaged the wound carefully.

"It's my turn to protect you," He let out, smiling with an ache in his heart as he stared at all the scars on Lia's body. "I wish I could live a little longer to take care of you for a long time," With a heavy heart he thought about the future. He stared at his sleeping brother. "I'm scared."

He couldn't deny that he didn't want to die.

He has a dream, he wants to travel the world, he wants to see his brother happy, and he wants to see Lia free, living without worries, living like a normal person. 

He knows his wishes won't come true in time because he will never live long enough. He is dying, he couldn't change it, no matter what.

"But–" He sighed deeply. "For the sake of the people I love, I have to be strong. For you. 

He wiped the remaining tears from his cheeks and kissed his forehead, stroking his hair lightly. "I hope, in the next life, we'll meet again," he muttered. "I want to be your brother so the pain you suffered in this life, doesn't happen to you again."

Eve stared into the space, his eyes closing, and a small smile appeared on his lips. "I wish you could find someone who could protect you from all the pain. Who can show you all the love you deserve. I wish...I wish...I don't h-have to leave you...you...so soon. I wish--"

Choking on his tears, he couldn't finish his words before running out of the room.

Hearing the noise of a door shutting, Lia slowly opened his eyes. 

His eyes were swollen and empty just like his heart. He pulled his hand to see all the bandages on it. His expression cannot be read. 

With a loud sigh, he rests his arm over his eyes. 

"I don't want to meet you in my next life."