chapter 1-The root

I was a happy child,I was quite used to my life and background .I had a roof over my head,food to eat and water to drink for me that was enough.my parents would buy us clothes once per year every Christmas and they made sure that they matched.This I was not pleased with ,I felt like I wanted to look different and express myself ,show my sense of fashion.fashion had always been my passion ever since I was young,I used to cut some of my old clothes into the kind of design I wanted and my mom would be furious every time I would do so,she felt like I'm wasting her money and effort.but I just couldn't stop it's like something was calling me to it,every time I would watch a fashion show I would get more and more interested.I was convinced that I would definitely be a fashion designer, probably own a couple of boutiques.well those were the days .

I was known around my community as the fashion girl,they used to make jokes about it some were nice,some funny,but some quite depressing to be honest .one time at our local school asande made fun of me saying I would never make it as a fashion designer because I'm fat and poor.He felt like since I'm coming from a less privileged home,I would never afford to buy the materials let alone the machines,which was so absurd of him.he felt like only thin girls deserve to be in the fashion industry .asande was just a boy who had no more idea about fashion but only the basics of it's,he had no idea how determined I was,fashion was the goal and I'm definitely Heading to it no matter what.My plans were to change the fashion industry in to a more welcoming environment for any race,body size or spontaneous crafts .I felt like the fashion industry was more conservative, every year they would make small changes to the designs or probably just change the colours.There is so much more to fashion than just different pieces put together.

I remember telling my mother about what Asande had said ,her response was' just leave him,Asande is just like any other boy.he is threatened by your determination,by your capabilities and all he wants to do is to destroy all that,be confident,be smart and follow your passion'.Those words gave me goose bumps even though I couldn't understand most of what she said but I guess I could sense that whatever my mother was saying was worth it.

My mother had always been honest and gentle,she would say what ever needed to be said no matter the consequences and I loved that about her.unlike most married women from our community who lived on lies .some where just genuinely scared of their husbands while some were just no good.I would say my mother was and she still is my role model,after all who wouldn't want her very own mother to be her role model.mothers always have your back no matter what.

I used to be curious at how our mother would always let us all eat before she would eat.she used to buy goodies and never even get a taste and none of us would even try to force her to eat.That woman would buy clothes for everyone but her self,we would all look stunning every Christmas and she would be there with the same attire every time.She never stopped smiling,she never stopped showering us with love.I understand why my father fell in love with her she was quite beautiful and a true definition of peace.she had a nice afro dark and bit curly,a woman with curves but yet covered her self as much as possible.her eyes where like the stars they shone soo bright and piercing to the heart.Her skin tone was dark and smooth.Everytime she would question me about my endeavours I would have a difficult time lying,she would look straight into my eyes and I would be forced to give in.

How I missed her,she had not been the same since my father passed away.she hardly laughs or go out.I can see she is depressed and she never admits it to us,who wouldn't be,she lost her love of her life,her soulmate.one day she had a partner one day she woke up and there was no husband but four kids staring at her with all the responsibilities.me and my siblings we were quite young when my father passed away and it took us time to digest it.my father was a very hard working man.he took care of everything whilst my mom was a house wife and she was great at it.my parents were a perfect team and they were a true definition of team work.I used to wonder as to how did they meet until my aunt narrated the story to me.she said my mother met my father on her way to town,she said my mom was crying and depressed and my father saved her.ever since that day they had been together,they got married just after my sister's birth.

One thing my aunt left out when she was telling me the story is why my mother was crying and depressed and I only got to know about it after years and years of curiosity until I got to read my mom's diary and every since that day I have never felt so weakened.I got to read her diary because I had always been a book worm especially because that's where I would get inspiration of my designs,hence on that particular day I found my self reading my mother's diary.At first I genuinely thought it's was just an interesting book until our names started pooping up and I soon realised the most shocking Information of my entire life