chapter 2-Bond

I got to understand everything,from her childhood to ours,how things played out.why we were so distant from my mother's family,why my mom never talked to or about her very own father.

mom hated him.she disliked him so much that we only saw him once by chance even in town.we had just bought our groceries and heading to home when we bumped to him,I could see that my mom was un easy though she tried to hide it.grandpa greet us and when he tried to hold us mom grabbed us and insisted that we were in a hurry.she never mentioned him,she never missed him or even call him.That was the first and last time we saw him,and we never bothered to ask her,I guess it's because we did not know what was happening probably we even thought it's was normal.

Another thing my discovery made me realise,is why my mother was so protective .she did not trust anyone with her daughters no matter who you were which is why she preferred to be a housewife.she never allowed us to go for sleep overs,she felt like what happens in sleep overs is exactly the same thing that happens at her house.just a batch of girls in pyjamas and making noise before sleeping.mother was so insecure that she used to drop us to and from school wether she was sick or not mind you she had no car.she never hired a nanny to help her.mom was indeed determined to be the best mother she could be, I guess she did not want to repeat her mother's mistakes.

My mom had been rape by her father.she had narrated it on her very own diary and I could feel her pain with every word I read.she was devastated and heartbroken .The situation forced her to be isolated from the rest of her family who assumed she was just a naughty girl who decided to go stay with a boy.

No one believed her,most especially because she only told them a month after fleeing home which made them assume that she was seeking for sympathy.She wrote that her departure had left my grandmother disappointed and stressed but because her father had already convinced everyone that my mother was the problem,she had to accept the situation.

My father became the only support she got,she would cry every night when ever she would remember.The thought made her feel dirty and longing for a very long bath,'how could this be,my very own father'she narrated.The sexual assault left her right leg disabled she could no longer walk like she used to.Her confidence was shattered.she wore clothes which covered her completely because she felt like they protected her from lustful men,they kept her safe and warm like a baby in a blanket.

My desire for fashion would sometimes scare her because she knew I preferred more revealing clothes,she knew that the industry has alot of men you got to pass through before you could make it.I was sad,I was heartbroken on her and myself behalf.I was longing for an opportunity to revenge my mother.I never ask or told anyone that I had read my mother's diary ,I kept it to myself because I did not want to traumatise her.I wanted her to feel loved and safe with us.

My father did all he could to keep our mother happy,he never shouted or raise a hand on her.He was always gentle with all of us and my mom adored that about him.His family had assumed that my mother witched him, because 'why is he so in love,why is he agreeing to all my mother's plea'. Jealous they were but they were better than my mother's side of the family which was kinda odd because most people prefer the mother side of the family.till this date they have never believed my mother which is why she felt betrayed.That time around blood wasn't thicker than water.she got comfort from a stranger who had no or less reason to care whilst her father ripped her of her dreams and youth.

We were a happy family just my parents and my three siblings.we were all girls ,my father never had a single boy and his friends considered that weak.In our community you were considered strong 'a real man 'they said if you have boys since having boys means your house has protectors,a strong force.

Despite all the name saying and doubts they had towards us we never felt defeated we were happy just as we were.we were big dreamers and that's what counts for us.My elder sister dreamt of having her own construction company,since we did not have much services at our community she felt starting a construction company would be the start of new businesses since it's would be easier for them now that the things for building are near and accessible.

My second sister wanted to have a female only gym ,this one had always been interested in sports,she felt like a fit body performs well wether physically or mentally.she wanted women to be just as much capable as men are,she wanted them to feel comfortable while exercising without having men stare.my last sister who came after me was young and had no clue as to what she really wanted,I guess she was just simple going with the flow,after all she was still young and still got a long way to go.at least she was trying out things and checking if she was interested or not.we wanted her to enjoy being a baby.we did not want her to rush with anything, because we knew that when the time was right she would know.