chapter 10-history

The next morning we had to check on my mother ,we decided to pack some of her essentials just in case she might be required to stay a little longer.I was responsible for packing for her since my other sisters were cleaning and cooking.my eldest sister was convinced that our mother would need healthy and hot food to help in her recovery.

She cooked rice and chicken stew for her.

As I was going through our mother things I came across her diary which I had assumed it's was just a book,a novel.since I had some time I decided to read it with the hope of getting some sort of distraction before I go to the hospital.As I read the diary most of what was written began to seem so familiar, initially I thought it was just a coincidence,up until our names started popping up.

History had repeated it's self.Our mother had been raped by her very own father.The way she narrated it made me realise why my sister had hung herself.since my experience was not forced the pain I had endured was nothing compared to the amount of pain they had went through.

She wrote'sartudays used to be my favourite day,I would normally play with my friends the whole day since there would be no school,but it's no longer my favourite.Things that reminds me of home are my worst nightmares.My dad changed my whole childhood,he took away my innocence.From that day I have been so angry,so hurt and I have never felt so betrayed 'as I read the paragraph I was more and more intrigued and yearning for the outcome of the information I had just read.

As I continued to read she narrated 'on a Saturday morning after my mother went to work,my father came to my bed,I remember that day like it was a few seconds ago.i was on my pink night dress which had yellow and red flowers by my shoulders.I had slept on a black sheet with a blue duvet.my bed was a single bed because I was sleeping alone.father came in he slept next to me,his beard touched my neck.'

'he held me close to him,first I thought he was giving me a hug but then he inserted it on me,I was in pain,I screamed dad it's painful,he slapped and told me to keep quiet,I cried but he continued carelessly over and over again.i fought him but my strength was nothing compared to his.i was bleeding,I was swollen but still he did not care' I was in shock after reading this segment,I did not know what to do but I still wanted to read even more.

' He finished with his evil actions and left me laying on that very bed,I slept there whilst covering myself up until,I was sure that he had left.i stood up and started walking,at that point nothing mattered to me,all I wanted was to go far away from him,from my home.He was a monster and I was so scared.'

I was devastated after reading and engulfing everything that had just happened.i was so angry I wanted revenge for my mother,for my sister but how when I have failed to revenge for myself.i had willingly submitted myself to the most traumatic events of our entire life.The amount of regrets could never be compared,at that moment I felt the defeat.

All along I had been worried as to how I was going to face Steve but that was nothing compared to my mother. She had to re live what had changed and pained her years ago.i knew then that it's was now my time to stop reading.