The Dumbest Conversation

Kikidori was *this close* to just leaving his own dorm. Maybe if he walked out and never came back, he could escape the absolute nonsense that Ere'ana was spewing tonight.

But he didn't leave. Because, unfortunately, he knew that if he did, she'd just follow him, talking even *louder.*

Ere'ana stretched her arms above her head, looking way too relaxed for someone about to say something *incredibly* stupid.

"Okay, so, be honest," she said, shifting to face him. "How fast do you think you'd nut?"

Kikidori *froze.*

He blinked.

Slowly turned his head to look at her.

And then, with all the disbelief he could muster, he said, "*What the actual fuck is wrong with you?*"

Ere'ana grinned. "Come on, humor me."

"Why the *fuck* would I entertain this conversation?!"

"Because it's a good question!"

"NO IT'S NOT!"

Ere'ana shrugged. "I mean, I'm just saying, based on *vibes,* I'd give you like… thirty seconds? Maybe less?"

Kikidori stared at her like she had just personally offended his entire bloodline. "*Excuse me?!*"

"Yeah, you just give off that energy, y'know?" She waved a hand vaguely. "Like, I bet the second shit gets real, you'd just—*boom*, done."

"*Oh my god.*" Kikidori rubbed his hands down his face, groaning. "Why are we talking about this? Why do *you* care?!"

"I don't *care*," Ere'ana said, laughing. "I'm just curious. You act like I'm asking for a demonstration."

Kikidori made a face like he was actively trying to erase this conversation from his memory. "You need *help.*"

"Maybe," she admitted. "But answer the question."

Kikidori glared at her. "I am not answering *that* question."

Ere'ana smirked. "So, less than thirty seconds, huh?"

Kikidori *launched* his pillow at her face. "FUCK OFF!"

Ere'ana caught the pillow, laughing her ass off. "Damn, Kiki, I didn't know you were *sensitive* about it!"

"*I am not sensitive about it because IT'S NOT A THING!*" Kikidori ran both hands through his hair, looking like he was about to have an aneurysm. "I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE HAVING THIS CONVERSATION!"

Ere'ana just shrugged. "Hey, it could be worse. I could be asking about *specifics.*"

Kikidori pointed a warning finger at her. "*Do not.*"

She snorted. "Okay, okay, I'll stop."

"Good."

A beat of silence.

Then Ere'ana leaned in slightly, smug as hell.

"But for real, though. Have you ever, y'know… thought about me?"

Kikidori stood up so fast he almost knocked over his chair. "*I'M LEAVING!*"

Ere'ana fell onto her back, *dying* of laughter. "I'M JUST MESSING WITH YOU, DAMN!"

Kikidori stormed to the door, gripping the handle like it was his only salvation. "I HATE YOU SO MUCH."

Ere'ana wiped a fake tear from her eye, still grinning. "No, you don't."

Kikidori growled under his breath… then sighed, dropping his forehead against the door. "No, I don't."

Ere'ana laughed again, kicking her legs in amusement. "Love you too, bestie."