Chapter 3 - Understanding the Situation [1]

My name is Sato Maylene, I'm 30 years old and I work for an accounting firm in Tokyo. We're at the height of our activities this year, dealing with a multitude of daily tasks... and then, all of a sudden, I fainted.

It would be sensible to panic now, considering that I've just lost my senses and control of my body. However, I must confess that this is not so unusual for me. I've been through something like this before.

When I was 15, I fainted in the middle of a lesson, without warning. I lost all my senses and was completely unconscious, but I woke up soon after. That experience was enough to alarm my parents at the time.

In my age group, there were a few similar cases, but they were considered isolated studies, occurring 15 years ago. This kind of information didn't seem relevant to me... until now.

Now, with the situation repeating itself, I am forced to face a truth that is difficult to accept... Am I in a coma? No. Research indicates that people in a coma retain some of their senses, such as touch or smell. But I can't feel anything. Sight would be the first thing to be compromised, since I fainted, so that's not a surprise. Hearing and taste are also uncertain. I heard a phrase, but it didn't make any sense - perhaps it was just an echo from my mind, confused by exhaustion.

Eating is definitely out of the question. Another hypothesis would be that I was just sleeping, but that doesn't make sense either. If that were the case, someone would at least have woken me up. The company has three security guards, who are responsible for securing the first floor and inspecting the other floors. Someone would certainly have noticed my absence and come to try to wake me up. And even if I was unconscious, one of them would have taken me home safely.

Now, an even more disconcerting idea pops into my head. Perhaps, in some unlikely scenario, one of them could rape me, just like that, while I'm here. But I know them, I know their character, and I know that would never happen. This only increases my fear - why hasn't anyone tried to wake me up yet? If no one has woken me up so far, then perhaps I'm not in a simple deep sleep.

I've experienced long periods of sleep before. I would wake up disoriented, confused, wondering where I am. But so far, that hasn't happened. The sense of time is completely distorted, and what I know for sure is that I'm still here, somehow.

My consciousness remains, but my physical perception has completely disappeared. This only leads me to an even darker conclusion... I'm dead.

***

Although I don't know exactly what's going on, there's something deeply plausible about it. Many people describe death in this way - an eternal state where you can't see, feel or hear. Now, that's all I know: the absence of any perception. I don't know if I'm seeing or not, it's hard to explain.

And now, in this place, I don't know how to react. Some people, in situations like this, would panic, start screaming. But honestly, I ask myself: why scream? What would be the point?

I'm not a person without feelings, and yes, I'm scared. But I know that screaming wouldn't do any good. In fact, I'd probably just embarrass myself, although, of course, there'd be no one around to hear me.

Death, after all, must be something like that. I'm agnostic, I've never believed in deities or anything like that. But it's an interesting topic for debate. There are so many strands to what happens after we die, but I've never been attached to any of them. I have nothing against other people's religions, but in my case, the truth is that I don't know what to believe.

So what am I left with? - God, if you can hear me, I accept my punishment.

Maybe now I have to accept that I'm here, in this place. Is this a kind of purgatory? Is my soul imprisoned? Forever?

I don't know. It's hard to even use my imagination to try to make this experience a little more interesting.

Great job, Maylene. All those nights I stayed up late, reading my novels, playing RPGs, or even touching myself - it all led me here. And now? I still thought I had so much to live for...

But none of that matters now. The fact is that I'm dead. And, as it turns out, nothing will change, no matter how much I think or feel... if I'm even capable of feeling at all.

Maybe days, months or even years have passed... or maybe time hasn't even passed. I don't know how to go on from here.

Perhaps I need to accept this reality? I'm dead. And, deep down, that's all I have left. It's frustrating, I admit. There's nothing left to do but live in eternal reflection.

Perhaps it's time to reflect on my choices. I don't really have many regrets, but at the same time I can't deny that certain things could have been different. I'm grateful every day to my parents for raising me and providing me with a stable childhood and adolescence. This has allowed me to maintain a balanced life as an adult. However, there is one thing I miss: I couldn't finish reading that new shoujo novel. The plot was fascinating, a mix of forbidden romance in an ancient medieval setting. A shame, really.

I live alone, so when it comes to privacy issues, there's nothing to worry about. I mean, my computer has some information that might not be the most... appropriate, like my browsing history and some files I downloaded out of curiosity. Nothing major, just a few distractions. Even so, I wouldn't be surprised if someone decided to take a look, although I have a password and so I'm fine with that. What weighs me down the most is the fact that, in the end, I died a virgin!

It's hard not to think about it. I'd at least like to have experienced something, even if it was a simple relationship, someone with whom I could share moments, something I've never experienced. If there's a chance of reincarnating in a next life, I hope to be the same woman, but with more confidence, more attitude and the ability to connect with other people - whether of the opposite sex or even the same sex. I want to live without limitations, to explore all facets of a relationship, even the most intimate aspect.