Chapter 4 - Understanding the Situation [2]

Hehe, I'm sounding extremely pathetic now... Of course, a desire like that is only carnal, a need of a lonely woman, a silly thing of no importance.

If there was the possibility of a new life, well... I'd just ask for things to go on as they were before. Just a quiet existence, living my own way, in peace. Of course, I know there would be difficulties, as always, and I would have to act, as I always do. But that wouldn't be a problem, after all, I'd be fine... living life, one way or another.

- But what?

Suddenly, I feel something warm. An ache, but also a comforting sensation, a tingling that invades me. And, most importantly, I'm feeling something!

It's a mixture of sensations. A flame that seems to consume me, but at the same time something cold that envelops me, as if I were trapped in a freezing place. I feel as if I'm lying in a river, no longer in control of my body, but I can still feel it. Something flows inside me, like water, but there's also something poking me, like knives piercing my skin.

It's an agonizing sensation, not pleasant at all. Anyone else would have fainted at the first instant, but here I am, experiencing this pain... Is that appropriate to say? It doesn't matter...

And the pain only gets worse. Something flows inside me, like a stream of boiling water, coursing through my veins. The sensation of warmth increases, as if my skin were being coated with a velvety warm layer. It bothers me deeply.

Suddenly, I start to regain some of my senses, but somehow, I'm still immobile.

I taste something strange, which is curious because I don't even know if I still have a mouth. The taste is unpleasant, as if I had slept with my mouth open, licking some tissue.

This persists until I realize that my hearing has returned... Argh!

A loud crack occurs near my ear, followed by a long buzzing sound. But suddenly everything goes silent... Now I hear the gentle sound of running water, as if I were near a river or waterfall.

And I can confirm this when I regain my sense of touch.

Now that I have this sense back, I notice that I'm lying on something hard, a platform or a smooth floor, completely damp. This confirms that I'm somewhere, but I can't get up, no matter how hard I try.

Suddenly, I feel my fourth sense returning: sight.

But everything is still dark. Curiously, I have the impression that my eyes are there, that I can see, but I can't open them. It's frightening. Before, I was adrift, but now I feel like I'm trapped, and that scares me even more. Could this be the coffin they used to bury me in? If it is, I'm screwed. If I'm really about to wake up seven feet under, I'd die anyway. That's terrifying in many ways!

But now my sense of touch is sharper. I can feel some vital organs moving.

My stomach rumbles, but I'm not hungry. It's just anxiety and desperation causing this sensation. My head has also started to think again, but it hurts, it burns, as if I had a fever. My body is trying to send me a message... And I realize that I'm not well.

At least my bladder is empty. If there were people around me, the embarrassment would be enormous. I'd ask to die again, just to escape the shame.

But even with all that, something still doesn't work: my heart.

I can't feel it beating. In fact, I don't feel anything. My lungs are also paralyzed... Now that touch is back, I feel suffocated.

The sensation of having no oxygen in my body is terrifying, much more so than anything I've experienced so far. I have to do something. If I don't, I'll continue to feel this pain. I need to breathe...

Even so, I'm completely weak. Everything is still weak. But my survival depends on my will to live. So I need to concentrate and breathe.

I'm trying, but it seems that my lungs don't really work. My nose is blocked too... Come on, May, don't give up! You just need to breathe!

- 'Ofega' 'Cof' 'Cof'.

As if breathing for the first time in a long time, I wake up from a long sleep.

***

- 'Sigh' 'Cough'

'Cough' Argh! That hurts!

I took a big breath, expanding my lungs, and at that moment, a sharp pain shot through my chest, specifically on the left side, where my heart was racing uncontrollably. The pain seemed to come from every part of my body, as if I had been standing still for months, without moving.

And indeed, it seemed that I hadn't moved for a long time. My legs, arms, back, even my stomach-everything feels heavy, as if I'm stuck to the ground. My eyes can't open, they stay closed, as if I'm trying to wake up from a deep, endless sleep.

I need to control my breathing. It's rapid and unstable. Calm down, May, try to stay calm. Even if it feels like I've had ten espressos in a row, I need to control myself somehow.

- Sigh Exhale

I repeat this process for a few minutes and gradually my breathing stabilizes. Now I need to pay attention to my other senses...

First, I need to open my eyes. Argh, they feel stuck, as if I've never opened them before. It's the same sensation as when I wake up after a long night, with only a few hours of sleep.

Uff... I'm getting it. I can already see a small crack. It's still dark, but the hue around it has started to change. My eyelids are moving little by little. Come on... a bit more...

- Uff!

I've done it! I've opened my eyes! But my vision is completely blurred. Everything is still in shadows, but it's slowly starting to clear up. Damn, now I feel like I've just woken up after Happy Hour, but for some reason everything is still very dark.

The fog that was blurring my vision has begun to dissipate. Now I can see clearly. It's strange, but my eyes, which were burning and partially blind before, are back to normal. Everything around me is clear, but still...

Hm? Suddenly, my body no longer feels so heavy. Although I have to struggle to get up, the feeling of heaviness that used to consume me has completely disappeared.

I can move my hands, wiggle my toes, breathe calmly. Now, all I have to do is stand up.

Ugh... Uaah! I did it...