"SUICIDAL ANIME ADDICTION"

CHAPTER 3

Ethan's torment from this strange love wasn't just emotional—or as Buddhists might say, astral—it also deeply affected his personality. As a sixteen-year-old still forming his identity, these changes were even more dramatic. Constantly aware of the object of his affection, he couldn't ignore things he previously would have. Any injustice he witnessed on the street demanded his intervention. He couldn't show cowardice in her presence. If he used to cross the street or run from suspicious-looking peers, now he almost sought trouble when he saw a risky "gang" nearby. At school, they started calling him "madman" for his fearless behavior during conflicts. Like animals, people are skilled at detecting fear. A dog will chase you if it senses your insecurity or smells the adrenaline in your blood. A wild animal attacks when it sees hesitation because you're signaling weakness—like in a video game where showing a low health bar invites aggression.Naturally, this behavior couldn't end well. A self-styled "knight" in love with an anime character was bound to get hurt. He was beaten twice, but not too severely. The third time, when he defended a girl being harassed by older thugs from another neighborhood, he was beaten badly. So badly that he ended up in intensive care. The thugs, enraged by his fearless gaze, hit him in the head, infuriated by his cold smile and bloodied, unflinching eyes. "Crazy kid," they muttered, knocking him out and fleeing at the sound of distant police sirens.He woke up in the hospital the next day, covered in bandages and hooked to an IV. His head throbbed, and nausea overwhelmed him, but through the pain, the first thing he saw beside his bed was the girl from the anime. Unfazed by the hallucination, he weakly smiled at her. The girl in the blue, old-fashioned dress, with marble-white skin, looked at him reproachfully with her large, otherworldly anime eyes. Ethan sank back into the pillow and drifted into unconsciousness, happy to finally see her "in person," even as a ghost.When he woke again, he was greeted by his aunt and a police investigator who had come to take his statement and open a case for aggravated assault. His aunt cried for the entire half-hour while the investigator asked questions, until Ethan, exhausted, fell asleep again.Waking a few hours later, Ethan found neither the policeman, his aunt, nor the stunning knight-girl from Fate. Instead, a strange doctor had come to see him. In a moment of clarity, Ethan realized, with what remained of his rational mind, that the doctor was a psychiatrist.Ethan tensed. Deep down, he knew he was unwell—practically insane, as he put it. But he couldn't abandon his love for the imaginary girl. Betray her? The Queen of Knights? No!The psychiatrist—a gray-bearded man with round glasses—was cunning and experienced. Ethan saw this immediately from the "irrelevant" questions that seemed off-topic. "How many friends do you have? Why did your mother leave you? Where is your father? What do you think of him? Were you beaten as a child?" and so on. Ethan grew so frustrated that he asked bluntly:"Stop messing with my head, Doc. What do you want?"The startled doctor stammered, "Why do you fight?""Me, fight?!" Ethan, angry and hurt, sat up in his hospital bed. "I was protecting a girl! Like any normal person. They attacked me. I only confront jerks, not good people. Actually, they fight me when I call them out!"The doctor hesitated, studying him carefully, thinking."I spoke with your aunt and your teachers. You've changed a lot in the past month. You're lashing out at everyone—fighting, being rude to teachers. Your aunt confirms these drastic changes. The investigator checked your room and saw…"Ethan blushed, then paled with rage."What right do you have to go through my things?"The doctor shook his head, unfazed by Ethan's reaction."Calm down, young man. We just want to help. I advise you to cooperate because if you keep on this self-destructive path, you'll end up somewhere hard to leave. Understand?"Ethan gripped the bedsheet tightly. What was this bespectacled man talking about? Prison? For what? Then it hit him."The psych ward?" he said aloud, more to himself. The doctor nodded and added, "You have a very dangerous condition. If untreated, it could end worse than this."He gestured to Ethan's bandages. Ethan asked, "What dangerous condition? What are you talking about?"He couldn't let anyone discover his feelings. He feared it would cause a disaster—a Universal Mega Love (UML) collapse. Could real love be linked to madness? But the doctor pressed on, relentless."You have a dangerous case of suicidal anime addiction. It's not rare these days, though it's my first time seeing it. Colleagues in the capital are experts—they even have a specialized institution for people like you."Ethan was stunned. They'd found out! Even more shocking was the existence of a facility for "crazy otaku." He imagined a ward full of teens in cosplay, wild-eyed. Unbelievable, he thought. I don't want to go there!Realizing he needed to change tactics, he laid his cards on the table."You're mistaken. I'm not an anime fan. Not an otaku at all. I just…" Ethan faltered, unable to say it.The doctor waited, tilting his head.When Ethan stayed silent, the doctor said it himself: "You're in love with Saber from Fate, aren't you?"Ethan blushed, surprised the doctor knew her name. "Have you watched that anime?" he asked quietly.The doctor shook his head. "No, but colleagues in the capital study these cases. It's quite common—the third most popular cause. When I sent them a photo of your room, they told me about this old film. If it were up to me, I'd ban these Japanese cartoons. Every year, countless teens die trying to imitate their idols or killing themselves to 'go there'—to the world where their heroes live. A boy in Turkey recently jumped out a window, thinking he could fly.""What does that have to do with anime?" Ethan asked, confused."The investigators found he'd watched the final episode of Zero Fear five minutes before. It's about teens who can fly after eliminating all fear. Even a hint of fear kills the ability. He tried to fly by banishing fear.""I haven't seen it," Ethan said. "I told you, I'm not an otaku. I have UML for one girl only. I don't watch other anime, not even Miyazaki's films," he added, recalling advice from an online chat.The doctor raised an eyebrow. "UML?""Ultimate Mega Love. It's a thing. And it doesn't have to be for an anime character—it could be for a real girl."The doctor burst into laughter.Ethan frowned. "You're laughing, but I'd like to see how you'd handle it."Stifling his laughter, though his eyes still twinkled, the doctor said, "Alright, Ultimate Lover. Let's help you. I'd rather not send you to a specialized institution. You seem like a good kid…"Ethan underwent treatment with Dr. Roman Polanski three times a week. Despite cooperating fully with the bearded, bald doctor—who shared a name with a famous director—there was no progress. Ethan knew this, unlike the doctor, who misinterpreted his condition. It was a relief to confide in someone, but the doctor's method annoyed him. Ethan even named it, making the doctor laugh: TFA—"Therapy Through Agreement." They watched anime together and discussed characters from the "Nasuverse," the universe of Ethan's beloved series.The doctor, pretending to be an otaku, passionately debated character motives and power levels—Servants, Masters, Angra Mainyu, Saber, Lancer, Archer, Berserker, Kirei Kotomine. Ethan knew the doctor didn't care about the "cartoon," but he couldn't help getting drawn in. For a while, he didn't understand the purpose, but one evening, lying in bed, he figured it out."Oh, that's it!" he thought, staring at the ceiling's plaster patterns, which reminded him of the sorcerers' pentagram from Fate.The doctor wanted to dilute his obsession by flooding him with information, hoping to shift his focus from Saber to other characters."I won't betray you, Saber! To hell with him!" Ethan thought before sleep.The next day, he stopped the treatment, refusing to cooperate. He was tired of this charade, discussing intimate matters with an adult. He lashed out, calling the doctor vile names, though it pained him—Roman was a decent man. But Ethan had enough of the intrusion.The consequences were swift…(The end of Chapter 3)