MR. GOOGLE KNOWS EVERYTHING

CHAPTER TWO

Despite his advanced intellect, Ethan came to the inevitable conclusion too late: he wasn't the only one who could suffer such a fate. After all, there are about seven billion people on Earth, and his case couldn't be unique. Though it is human nature to consider oneself the center of the universe, no matter intentionally or unconsciously. Or perhaps it was the overwhelming emotion that literally fevered him, draining all his life energy, driving him to emotional shock and a kind of numbness. Love can make one temporarily insane. And UML is an incredibly intense love. However, "Mr. Google" knew nothing about UML. Apparently, the term had been invented by the neighbor on the fly to describe such an intense feeling. A search for "Ultimate Mega-Love" yielded a bunch of unrelated links. Changing his tactics, Ethan started searching for "Saber fan club." Again, the search engine only returned wallpapers of his beloved heroine and a soccer player with that name. It turned out that such a person existed in our dull and mundane reality. He already had all the wallpapers, including ones he had drawn himself. Realizing his mistake, he rephrased the query to "Fan Club Fate/stay night."

Satisfied with the more specific query, Google immediately provided a plethora of links to websites. After clicking through the blue titles, Ethan eventually stumbled upon a fan site with a chat room. After a two-minute registration, he opened the chat, hoping to find a kindred spirit to anonymously pour his heart out to. Extremely shy and secretive in real life, Ethan, on the global network that guaranteed relative anonymity (as long as you were at least a savvy user), rose to his full "giant" intellectual height. In debates, he was unbeatable, and in conversation, one might think he was at least a fifty-year-old philosopher, seasoned with life's experiences, or even an immortal sage — like a Dalai Lama who had lived through hundreds of incarnations.

But in the chat window, there was only one other person visible. A lone nickname with a somewhat strange name (which was common in chat rooms) — "MDDM." The odd name made Ethan hesitant. It probably had nothing to do with the object of his affection. His index finger slowly rose, ready to click the mouse to close the window, when MDDM greeted him, as if lying in wait for a new victim:

"Hi!"

Ethan didn't hesitate:

"Hi!"

"Why did you choose that name?"

At first, Ethan didn't understand the question. He paused for a moment, then looked up at the corner of the window where he had entered his nickname during registration. He had come up with it automatically, almost subconsciously, out of habit from years of being online. "BecauseOfHer" — that's what he called himself. Bold and straightforward.

"Because of her," he replied to MDDM, not bothering to explain who "her" was.

But MDDM, being on the fan club site for "Fate," guessed right away:

"Saber?" xD

"Yes," Ethan confirmed, unashamed of his feelings on the internet.

A whole string of "smiles" responded to him within a second:

"I was in love with her too, when the series first aired."Pause.

"And?"

"And what?"

"How did you get over it?"

Confused emoji.

"Get over what?"

"The feeling. Didn't it kill you?"

Another cascade of little "x" and big "D" replacing smiles or even smirks in this particular case.

"Weirdo, it will pass. With time."

Pause...

"No."

"What do you mean, no?"

"It won't pass for me have UML for her. This is until death."

"You have what for her? xD."

"UML — Ultimate Mega Love," Ethan explained patiently. He immediately added, "UML doesn't go away. I've already researched this. It's hopeless."

Pause...

"Come on! It'll pass. People have had much stronger feelings than yours."

Pause...

"No. They haven't want to go there. Because of her."

Pause...

"That's just the imagination of artists and writers. Those worlds don't exist. Forget it and stop tormenting yourself."

"No. She exists. She exists somewhere. The universe is infinite in space and time, so anything can exist there. It's just a matter of time and place."

Pause...

"You're either crazy or you've lost your mind, BecauseOfHer."

The phrase sounded as if he had gone mad because of her, and Ethan, experienced in debates, immediately seized the opportunity presented by his opponent:

"Yes. You're right, I went mad because of herude, I didn't mean it like that."

"I don't care how you meant it. Your first word is worth more than the second. You said it yourself."

Pause...

Pause...

"Well?"

"Well, what?"

"What are you going to do next, Mega-Love-struck?))"

"I don't know. That's why I'm here."

Pause...

"By the way, I'm in school right now. In Cincinnati."

"That's in the USA?Got it. It's night here. In Europe."

"Got it. It's kind of boring here, dude."

"Got it."

"Yeah."

"Listen, I can't help you get into a non-existent world. But you can cry on my shoulder and tell me more about your feelings. If you need to, of course."

Pause...

"Or let's talk about your beloved. I've been in the 'Fate' fan club for ten years. I know almost everything about the 'Nasuverse.'"

"Nasuverse?"Pause...

Pause...

"Dude, are you sure you're an otaku?"

"I'm not an anime fan. You don't get it. I fell in love with a girl from the series. The 2006 series. I haven't watched any sequels or read the novel. I haven't played the visual novel either. I'm not interested in that. That's why you don't understand me. You think I'm a fan who collects everything about my favorite movie or game. That's not the case! I haven't even watched ten anime series in my life. I used to hate them altogetheridiculous nonsense."

"Damn! You haven't even watched Miyazaki's masterpieces?!"

Emojis of confusion filled two whole lines.

"I don't even know who that is."

A terribly long pause...

"Alright, I'm going."

His finger hovered over the mouse for another half-second, waiting for a signal from his brain.

"WAIT!!!"

"What now?"

"This might be a stupid suggestion, but watch the anime 'High School DxD.' The girls there are amazing. Especially the President. She's just incredible, you'll forget about your short and skinny Saber right on spot. Or at least dull your feelings for her. You just haven't watched much anime staff, and that's why it hit you so hard. It's such a vivid and unreal world compared to our dull and gray reality."

Pause...

"Again, you don't understand anything. I don't want to dull anything. Goodbye."

"WAIT!!!"

"Don't shout, please. I mean, don't type in all caps. What do you want?"

"Give me your email. Maybe I can find something for you'll get in touch."

After a brief pause, Ethan copied his email address into the chat window.

"Great, Ethan. Talk to you soon," MDDM responded instantly.

Ethan cursed under his breath, seeing his own email in the chat window: Ethan_thornton2001@hotmail. com.

"So much for internet anonymity," he thought sadly, as he pressed the button to close the browser window.